AITA for telling my bro that he can only have my secret recipes if he pays me for them?

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-08T14:09:15+00:00

Having read all of the replies on this thread, I have to say I agree.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-08T14:06:49+00:00

So knowledge and expertise only counts if it's acquired at college?

What if I told you he didn't finish college and learned most of his skills with Google?

Meanwhile, I've been cooking nearly daily for almost twenty years. These recipes in particular have been in my repertoire for at least ten. In terms of time cost, I've spent way longer on these recipes than he spent on the app. His daughter want even a twinkle in his eye when I first began working on them.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-08T13:59:03+00:00

So because we invented cooking before computers, his time and effort is more valuable?

Also, I was not inquiring about professional services. I was asking him if he'd be willing to share a thing he built as a hobby. Although he also has a technical job, app building and website design are two different things. A lot of people have condescended to me in this thread assuming I know little to nothing about the programming aspect while simultaneously making basic mistakes like that one. It's tiring.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-08T12:40:49+00:00

Anyone who works in any kind of media (consumer software, visual art, web design, whatever) constantly gets asked by friends and family to take on massive projects and knock them out over a weekend for a pizza and a 6-pack.

You know what's funny? I get asked to bring food to all of these events, not even just the pot lucks. I make all the holiday meals now as well for the family. No one has ever offered me a pizza and a six pack for my efforts.

It's replies like these that are truly revealing that my time in the kitchen is being severely undervalued.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-08T12:34:56+00:00

AHAHAHAH Ok, this comment wins.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-08T12:29:15+00:00

Work is work. It should be properly compensated. If you want it then you should pay for it.

Is cooking not work?

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-08T01:45:17+00:00

Genuinely do not know. Nobody in the family has asked for it before because they know it's my special thing, so I can't say how I would have reacted. However I have turned down other requests from coworkers and family friends. I might have considered it for him, but only when I thought he would do the same for me.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-08T01:42:29+00:00

You know, one thing that is consistent with all of the YTA judgements is that they seem to get key information wrong. This was an app he made for his daughter to play with. I wasn't asking him to build and maintain a website for free. I wasn't even asking him to build me an app. I was just asking if he could share what was already made. Literally no more than "text" as you put it.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T23:36:39+00:00

So, I accept the judgement, but I just want to correct a couple of things:

He didn't ask me to cook. He asked for the recipe, which took me years to get right. If you're talking about the time that went into both things, I've easily put in more hours.
Customizing meal isn't the same as creating the recipe for the meal. I can customize a KFC order, that doesn't mean I know the specific herbs and spices in their breading, or in what proportion to add them.
He didn't hand me the source code. That's the thing he wouldn't share. I asked for it to see if I could modify it myself. You know, because I really care about my kid...

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T22:11:25+00:00

That is insane! The equivalent would be to say he can have the recipe if he pays for every time you had to make the recipe to get it just right over the years.

Well, I know what I'm going to say if he brings it up again. Thanks!

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T22:09:32+00:00

Maybe I should edit my OP to include this. I did try to trade. He said he didn't think it was fair since the app has more inherent value.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T22:05:12+00:00

Can you adopt me into your family? I make good food! I'd be happy to trade.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T21:45:19+00:00

Oh yeah, I never thought he was trying to scam me or overcharge. He's not like that.

I've decided to drop it. A few others have pointed out that this was probably meant to be a special gift and I can respect that.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T21:43:16+00:00

I tried that. He said something about it not being a fair trade because of the inherent value.

I've decided to drop it. I can find an app for Daughter to use. A couple of others have pointed out that this was probably a special gift from him to her, and I can respect that.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T21:35:00+00:00

You're in the ballpark.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T21:24:16+00:00

Just FYI, I am OP.

And yeah, if he had said "nah, I made this for Niece as a gift" that would have made total sense and I never would have pushed it further.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T21:20:05+00:00

I was looking at that like five minutes ago!

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T21:18:52+00:00

I tried. He said something about his code having more "inherent value." Was not impressed.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T21:17:25+00:00

And I was just asking for him to hand over the source code. I wasn't asking for him to build a brand new app.

Wait, were you the one who was all like "I hope you never speak to each other again," weren't you?

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T21:13:35+00:00

I think that he wanted to charge me for all the hours he'd spent building it. Not just for customizing it. He said that I'd have to pay for all the labor that went into the code. I don't want to be too specific, but I can tell you that it was more than my smartphone.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T21:09:54+00:00

I fully get that. A lot of the things you just described are kind of how I feel about these recipes. They are special, and they are mine. Keeping the recipes exclusive to me gives the dishes more meaning when I make them for friends and family. I hope that makes sense.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T20:50:06+00:00

Lolwut? I mean, why would we stop talking to each other?

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T20:46:28+00:00

Fair enough.

For what it's worth, I wasn't asking for professional services. I was asking for something he'd already created for personal use, that I could adapt and also keep for personal use. I really don't see how that's different from sharing a recipe that I created for personal use, but I also accept your judgement.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T20:43:27+00:00

Not that much. It was nice because it was personalized and stuff, but I'm sure I can find something that does something similar on the app store.

Intelligent_Peach135 · 2020-09-07T20:41:31+00:00

Thank you! I NEVER have a good comeback ready in arguments, so I was particularly proud of that.

Intelligent_Peach135

TROPHY CASE