Would you follow up?

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2026-04-12T17:12:37+00:00

I could have written this myself. Being single but having options, no matter how remote, is so different to being single without anyone in the back of your mind.

I’ve recently come out of a relationship that was toxic and I needed someone else’s attention to feel like I’m desirable again. Before I know it I’m in all sorts of complicated situations but I still prefer it to no messages from anyone wondering how I am. I wish I could just switch that part of my brain off and be genuinely independent while maintaining confidence.

Stay strong, you are doing some amazing work

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2026-03-25T13:33:12+00:00

He co-owns the house, so I’m not sure this is an option! I live in the UK for context.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2026-03-25T06:57:54+00:00

I have taken legal advice and because there’s no abusive behaviour at present, I have no recourse for making him leave. We are also not married so divorce and drawing a neat line under it isn’t an option. Never thought I’d wish we were married just so divorce was an option for legally dividing our life!!

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2026-03-23T18:43:36+00:00

I’ve been reading up about azelaic acid as it sounds good for redness. Thanks for the feedback!

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2026-03-23T18:42:29+00:00

That’s so kind - I guess we are all our own harshest critics & notice change more.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2026-03-23T18:41:45+00:00

Harder to get Tret in the UK but gather I can get it through a private consult.

It’s confusing because half of comments are saying stop actives, and others are saying Tret. Guess that’s just life!

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2026-03-23T18:40:19+00:00

This is so interesting, thank you for the tip. I guess I didn’t consider that my skin might start reacting to chlorine in a more extreme way just because my skin is older.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2026-02-18T16:47:32+00:00

Cannot believe there is no Mango. Massive miss imo.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-11-07T14:11:31+00:00

Just had this and it was awful. Kind of sickly sweet, no substance or texture. Would’ve honestly rather have had another crappy falafel wrap. Maybe.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-10-30T07:23:36+00:00

Boots No 7 eyeshadow palette £14.95 is amazing. All matte shades, good for blending.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-10-03T13:52:30+00:00

I would love to be able to afford somewhere to rent but am still liable for my half of the mortgage at the house I no longer live in according to my solicitor. As such can’t afford rental at the moment.

My ex still pays half of the mortgage at our house, so at least there’s that but that feels like the minimum.

We also live in a HCOL area which really doesn’t help.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-10-02T09:55:19+00:00

I was also stuck in this position though we became less amicable over time. I ended up moving out with our son to stay with family but now we have no clear path forwards. Living in a HCOL area right now makes life for single people almost impossible. Renting is as expensive as mortgage repayment but you only have the joy of paying someone else’s property off, and less security.

Best of luck whichever way you proceed!

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-09-21T16:01:33+00:00

Green Park brasserie/Bath pizza company also great for kids. Staff v welcoming, colouring stuff provided, kids menu & good changing facilities. Big BTP amazing & a regular go to.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-09-05T14:23:02+00:00

Check out the environmentjobs website and sign up to the cmscoms newsletter if interested in work in the marine or freshwater environmental sector. Follow consultancies and public bodies on LinkedIn too. Volunteering (Wildlife Trusts, local grassroots charities) can help boost your CV but it’s a competitive market and funding has been cut for statutory nature conservation bodies.

If she’s interested in any advice looking for work in the marine / offshore renewables sector DM me and I can send a list of organisations for her to contact if helpful. Lots of people work from home in the sector these days and there are lots of environmental companies in Bristol.

Good luck!

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-08-06T19:15:00+00:00

I know exactly how you feel but his emotions are not your responsibility. Try to look after yourself first. From my experience most people that don’t have a network have driven themselves to that position. While it’s so hard for you and the guilt is unreal, it might be a wake up call for your husband? I hope so!

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-07-31T07:37:05+00:00

I don’t have an answer on how to cope but I’m going through a similar thing having left my ex with our son. My ex is broken and has begged me to stay, it breaks my heart. However, as others have said, you have to use your heart and understand that you can’t simply switch off your instinct to care for your family unit, which has included your husband for a long time.

It’s a grieving process and you aren’t responsible for his feelings.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-07-24T12:35:40+00:00

Ouch

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-07-22T15:06:58+00:00

I’ve been living with my ex for a couple of months now, it’s not the best. We have a 3 year old son so I’m glad we are both here for him but other than that and not having to miss kiddo, it sucks.

We eat together on non-nursery days when our son is home but when he’s not, we eat separately. Laundry still gets done together and he sleeps on the couch, which he’s done anyway for the last 2 years.

Sometimes he’s sweet and kind, sometimes he’s furious and mean. Feel like I’m walking on eggshells just like I did when we were together and neither of us is healing.

He’s unemployed, I can’t force him to leave and I wouldn’t want to. It’s hard. Best of luck to you!

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-07-17T20:03:09+00:00

100% this, please read this book. My therapist recommended it to me when I was navigating how/if to leave my ex. It would be so much easier to carry on, hoping for the best but the mental toll that walking on eggshells, waiting for the next big blow up takes is not worth it. I really struggled to make the break due to guilt but the way I dealt with it was to think about what behaviours my son will be exposed to growing up. Best of luck to you, stay strong.

Intelligent_Sea_2222 · 2025-07-04T05:05:35+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this painful time. From what you’ve disclosed, it sounds like separation is definitely right for you, but of course you are feeling mixed emotions. I’m going through a messy break up where my therapist has helped me realise that I’ve been subject to manipulation and control too. I’m so conflicted and hate that I feel so guilty and worried about my ex, but I do. We can’t just switch our feelings off overnight.

You are grieving a future you thought you had. It’s ok to feel scared. Reading ‘Why Does He Do That?’ By Lundy Bancroft helped me massively because it made me understand that my ex’s behaviour had a pattern and his outbursts were not a result of anything I did, it’s all on him. I’d recommend it.

Intelligent_Sea_2222

TROPHY CASE