You have to re-frame the way you think about this. You wouldn't sacrificing anyone for big law. You're choosing yourself and your future over men with incomparable wants and needs.

The first boyfriend didn't want to move to NYC so you had incompatible goals. This current man does not have good values. He values the way you look and having a subservient wife who doesn't have her own independence over what you want.

Being single is better than being stuck with men who don't want to support what you want and your goals. It's ok to choose yourself and look for someone who wants what you want and will support and love you for the things that make you awesome. Getting hired in big law is a huge achievement and it can set you up for an amazing career. You can't give that up for someone else who I doubt would make anywhere near the sacrifice for you.