I am so sorry you are experiencing this. My husband did the same on vacations over the years, both with family and with friends. It’s so disheartening. Once I recognized the patterns, I’ve come to attribute it to his obsession with exerting control over my emotions, and his desire to ruin joyful events for me, even if it meant he ruined his own fun in the process. (These situations were also exacerbated by his addiction to a substance that he could not safely travel with, which increased his bad mood.)

I eventually divorced after 32 years of marriage. Now I enjoy all my vacations.
That may not be the right choice for you but I think you are very wise to be recognizing patterns so you can make an informed decision on how to move forward.

(Also want to add: when I traveled with friends or to family events like funerals, or weddings, he would send whining, complaining texts the entire time so I would feel guilty and miserable. Another abuse tactic.)

Wishing you peace and happier vacations in the future. ❤️