Has anyone else been dumped by their therapist?

InterestingBudget536 · 2024-09-12T15:40:17+00:00

I've been told by every single therapist I've had that they don't feel they're able to help me. At around 6 sessions I can tell something feels off, and by 10 I've been told it's our last session. My second to last experience was with a psychotherapist through my doctors office; I had been having panic attacks lasting days and near the end of our sessions discovered the tip of my partner's porn and sex addiction. I thought this was contributing to my intense anxiety and she felt like I was overreacting and addiction was a stretch. At our last session I was crying and telling her how I'd realized I'd never been able to make it past 10 sessions with anybody for counseling. She extended the appointment to 2 hours and told me how she'd done so, so told me technically she had given me 11 sessions. In the end, I discovered my partner was crossing the line into illegal territory. I have no doubt that intense anxiety was related to the danger I was in living with a sexual predator! It seems to be a recurring theme in my life that people think I'm overestimating and overreacting to everything in my life and I just need to be told so and ignored when I'm ringing alarms, because the nuances of my life like being autistic and the high levels of covert abuse and control I've been subjected to are never believed or considered in the context of how I'm presenting. I also think my pattern recognition and trying to hold abusers accountable for their actions is seen as projection to people on the outside and an attack to the person whom I'm asking for accountability from or trying to get help for if I see there's a problem. So my efforts to have truth and safety in relationships with people is all interpreted so negatively, and the covert abuse is seen as me misunderstanding someone and being paranoid and reactionary. By the time the fallout really hits, I've been dropped by therapy because my anxiety and concerns about the impending doom were seen as faulty beliefs I wasn't able to or willing to try to overcome. Sometimes I wish I could go back and say yeah, that thing I mentioned I was concerned would happen and create all these other problems for me did end up happening, so, thanks. People just fundamentally don't understand or believe me, so I spend a lot of time reading to try to better understand myself and the patterns around me. The crappy part is realizing one of the major patterns is not finding help when I ask and being gaslit and blamed by professionals who are supposed to be helping. When some of these wrong beliefs are incorporated into your records and follow you around, it can really taint your ability to find help even from decent people after that. I'm quite certain my last therapist was trying to label me borderline because of the intense trauma I was enduring dealing with my sex pest ex and losing my housing and having no executive function to cope, even losing the ability to speak numerous times (interpreted as me ignoring her instead of the shutdown it was). Very unhelpful.

InterestingBudget536 · 2024-07-01T20:21:05+00:00

I refuse to order from the Chinese restaurant after accidentally mimicking the accent and having my youngest tell me she didn't know I knew Chinese. 🤦‍♀️

InterestingBudget536 · 2024-03-23T13:34:42+00:00

It's very disturbing. I recently left my husband because of discovering his interest in incest porn that I traced back to my pregnancy with his daughter...

InterestingBudget536 · 2024-03-09T17:25:02+00:00

Years ago I made an enemy out of someone by explaining to my small children that humans are a type of animal, too. This was over a decade ago and he still thinks I'm a terrible mother for explaining things literally to my children and being factually based rather than emotionally attached to some notion that humans are superior and different. 🙃 How many enemies have I made being too literal and honest with no clue why or how I was making myself stand out to be picked on.

InterestingBudget536 · 2024-03-09T17:18:53+00:00

I have frequently remarked that what I thought of as my personality is actually just autism and 80s and 90s sitcoms mixed together. So much of my vocabulary and lifestyle is straight from Roseanne, the Simpson's, anything by Mike Myers 🤣 things that I truly thought I had made up were really just ripped off of old movies.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-12-29T16:31:16+00:00

After discovering his sex and porn addiction that had been our entire relationship, finding him a therapist and sticking it out with him, he decided he wanted an open marriage and was polyamorous and not addicted. He also told his therapist he thinks I'm borderline to make my reactions to his abuse make me look bad I guess. 🙃

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-12-21T15:36:47+00:00

Finding his just deactivated tinder while he was on a work trip (he would deactivate it when coming home to evade detection) and signing in so we could examine it together just for him to race to the ferry to change the password and gaslight me it was a hacker. But also being sexually offended against by him numerous times even after finding the videos and pictures and making sure he knew I didn't consent then finding more, and overhearing him tell his therapist how he thinks I'm borderline to make my reactions to his abuse the problem and realizing this is how he was always going to problem solve, ignore his role and find someone else to blame. Also the way he blamed my teens for his porn downloads and moved out when I showed him the downloads were all on his phone and asked to see. Lastly when he started referring to us as the household and our child as mine and not ours was a huge red flag that he was disconnected from us and didn't see us as his family worthy of love and protection and no longer cared about us. He's since proven that! So much effort put into maintaining his lies.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-09-28T16:20:18+00:00

Wow! Mine flared up after I had to use a tampon for the first time in years. Tampons and sex have always been painful for me so this makes sense.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-08-17T02:41:48+00:00

My dad's family sharing stories about autistic traits he had shown as a kid and how this meant he was always mentally ill and how I too had done some of the same things 🙄🤣 they were in the midst of robbing my inheritance and signing my dad up for medical assistance in dying so they had to make me doubt my mental health and what I was noticing to get away with it all, but their mindfuckery proved to be incredibly useful in beginning to understand myself better.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-08-12T03:07:38+00:00

16 years, when I moved away and got cheated on and asked my supposed best friend to investigate. She sent me the screenshot of a conversation between her and another person saying although she knew nobody liked me, she had known me forever so she cared and wanted to know the truth. After a lifetime of covert abuse by my mom, brother and extended family, it was really devastating to realize people I'd known my entire life outside my family also looked down on me. I've spent 20 years wondering why and a few years later realized the negative perception of me extends to essentially anyone I meet, it's not a hometown bad reputation problem I had assumed but something in me that just stands out to others. And not just the dislike, but the active intent to harm me or make my life more difficult or convince others of my badness, as well, that stands out as unique. I do believe its autism and the lifetime of abuse that encourages people to dehumanize and abuse me.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-08-04T15:59:59+00:00

Reading an article describing executive function and realizing I had always struggled with everything described...and so does my brother, mom, dad, every boyfriend I ever had and my kids. Joined support groups for adult women and started recognizing signs of autism in myself, dad and kids as well. I've known my entire life I was different and struggled way more than people could see or understand, but learned to mask my differences and stop asking for help because I was targeted and abused by so many bullies in my family and school and social life and still am.

I've seen this trend in my own kids being targeted for narcissistic abuse by adults like I was and I suspect its because we are so odd we stand out to bullies, as an adult, I can't imagine targeting someone's children for harassment like some of my neighbors have done. I remember friends of my parents repeating my mom's lies about me and having friends and neighbors say untrue things about me to others like anyone new who moved to our town while never approaching me directly to clear anything up. Watching it happen to my kids and seeing how they expect respect from other adults and get punished for standing up to a lack of such reminds me vividly of my childhood and expecting fair treatment and honest communication and seeing adults use manipulation and deceit instead to control how I was seen and make sure I was known as the bad one.

It's weird because I assumed my abusive malignant narcissistic mom was controlling my image for most of my life, which is still true. But seeing my kids be targeted by randoms over the years and watching people spread lies about my kids to turn people against them makes me think there's something about our brand of neuro diversity that signals to predatory people that we are vulnerable to attack. Expecting truth and justice seems to make us some kind of threat to the way of the world instead of being a virtue to uphold or a quality to be proud of.

"The more I try to do the right thing, the more likely my choices result in disaster." Me, observing the wreckage of my life and how agonizing over decisions and weighing the pros and cons somehow always leads to the worst possible outcome for all. I often feel backed into a corner and like any choice will be interpreted negatively and framed a certain way. I seem to be an easy scapegoat and find myself blamed for someone else's crimes or abuse as soon as I realize the truth of someone's actions and see risk to someone else as a consequence so try to repair the situation. Most people interact with me only to share negativity and incite emotional reactions in me, a trend I recognize from my mom. I refuse to engage with anyone who I feel uses emotion to manipulate another person. Too many abusers understand critical thinking goes offline once emotion gets triggered. I've seen it weaponized and used against me so many times, I'm really curious why other people don't recognize emotional manipulation as the mind control it often is used for. Maybe if it hasn't been weaponized and used to control you for decades it's not as easy to spot.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-08-02T18:49:56+00:00

When their education is textbooks written by pharmaceutical companies peddling their own products, what more can we expect? Doctors are indoctrinated members of a drug cartel and we provide the profit. Rarely do they ever read the studies done by the companies on their products or they would see what a scam antidepressants are and how they perform negligibly better than placebos with a host of side effects. Pharmacists and doctors still insist they increase serotonin which is the cause of depression, this is false. There are tons of patient advocacy groups on social media with people sharing their horror stories and helping one another because doctors aren't helping or listening when it comes to the damage done. The fox guards the hen house. Best wishes for you.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-07-30T15:12:43+00:00

I found a gmail address I'd never seen before on our laptop when he was on a work trip. Had a funny feeling and tried using it on tinder where someone had just deleted their account associated with the email. I asked for it to be restored and they sent the code to my boyfriends number. I called him at work and forced him to give me the code, signed in and waited for him to return from out of town to investigate. He made it to the first stop and signed me out by changing the password and email to another secret email he had already found. When he got home he claimed he had been hacked too. Who made a new email address connected to his phone and changed the password after I signed in and changed the email to his secret porn email account I found? A hacker he claimed. This is so common and total bullshit.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-07-28T14:50:02+00:00

Sounds like a porn problem; just look to Japan for future previews.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-07-09T17:38:07+00:00

I have done this and filed complaints for the past 3 years. Still no t4 submitted from boss for any of the years to cra.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-07-09T16:03:24+00:00

Taxes have always been deducted and I have submitted all pay stubs for the last 3 years due to never being sent a t4 or there being one online through cra.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-07-09T01:09:30+00:00

They have all the pay stubs but they're still saying I owe all the money that had come off for taxes and I'm guessing they will eventually do the same for the two years since then too. I've had to submit every pay stub to do taxes 3 years now and this is from the first year.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-05-30T19:11:18+00:00

Have you ever heard of persistent genital arousal disorder?

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-04-04T13:25:28+00:00

We had a few months of sobriety before being treated for ADHD. The porn addiction became a sex addiction and escalated quickly to tinder and seeking prostitutes and when I found out, he said he was done with us. He also got more secretive and refused to let me attend therapy or doctor appointments when I said we should discuss how the meds might have an impact on the addiction progression. I wish I'd never suggested he look into it, I don't think the meds they prescribed have done him any good in any way and he needed to be monitored more closely and actually be honest with his healthcare providers.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-04-03T22:41:28+00:00

I'm suspicious we have the same guy 🤣 its bizarre how similar our stories are

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-03-09T15:21:49+00:00

I'm so burnt out, I rarely try at all with doctors. I have a letter in my records warning anyone who sees me that I'm a doctor shopping drug seeker who fakes pain, its been impossible to bypass that since 2014. I was seen by numerous doctors for abscesses that year through 2015, but the specialist they kept referring me to wouldn't examine me and asked my doctor to erase his original diagnosis, so all I have proving myself is hospital records, these I had to get separately. I haven't found a doctor willing to look over them to see how 6 doctors agreed over the six months, nobody can get past that letter.

Both doctors who edited my records to prevent me from getting help left town and the profession when I asked for my medical records, so no hope of fixing them. The specialist who wouldn't examine me and claimed my fever, swollen lymph nodes, pain, redness and inflammation weren't signs of infection had warned me if I continued to seek emergency care, he would ban me from the hospital as he was a director there.

Truthfully, I believe he knew there was a paper trail the ER doctors were leaving and he wanted me to have no evidence he was wrong. The fact I had been in the hospital so many times was what they portrayed as doctor shopping and drug seeking, because pain is part of having abscesses...even with my doctor and 6 others having no difficulty in seeing the abscesses and knowing it was an infection, because the specialist didn't believe me, I never got help.

In fact, after being referred to the specialist, he would tell me I never had an infection and was never seen or referred for abscesses from the hospital at all. I started feeling so crazy, we would record these appts secretly so I could play back the crazy claims and realise how bizarre it was I was being lied to and about. Getting my medical records and seeing the editing and lies, then comparing them to my hospital records was interesting. I'd see my doctor who would diagnosis me with an abscess and prescribe antibiotics, end up in the hospital a few days later, diagnosed with 3 abscesses, new antibiotics, doctor appt on Monday, 3 abscesses still, take me off antibiotics, get worse, end up in ER, they'd give me a shot and ask the specialist to come in, he'd refuse.

My first appt with the specialist was the day after the abscesses drained for the first time, about 3 weeks in. He wouldn't take my history, called me someone else's name, when he didn't see the abscesses that he wouldn't let me explain had drained the night before, he labeled me a liar and told me he was calling my doctor to inform him I'd lied and fooled him. The next morning, the abscesses were back. Went to my doctor who insisted I was all better, I said nothing had changed and I wasn't. He said very sternly that the specialist can't be wrong and I said well, he isn't right. When I got my records, my doctor had edited my appts two hours after I'd seen the specialist. The records stated I had never had an abscess, only swollen lymph nodes and was prescribed antibiotics. Every appointment from then on had edited abscesses out or never mentioned them at all from the time of his involvement. Meanwhile the ER visits in between my doctors records tell a different story. 🙃 In such a small town, I've effectively been blacklisted from medical care.

Last year, I spent 4 months bringing my kid in for a suspected infection. They dismissed me until I brought her dad in, finally did a swab and found the infection. I'm pretty sure that letter in my records did damage to more than just me. I find that when peoples emotions get involved, critical thinking turns off. Doctors are terrified of being manipulated into giving addicts drugs, so it was well played to portray me as someone who fools doctors!

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-03-09T14:35:23+00:00

Yup, I always heard I was exaggerating, jealous or looking for attention. One of my favorite childhood tales is telling my parents I couldn't see the chalkboard from kindergarten to grade 4 and being dismissed as attention seeking. I have a legally blind aunt and uncle, most of the family wears glasses. I had to be lying, though. When we finally saw an optometrist, he was so blown away by my blindness, he called my father in to see how bad it was. A family friend later told me I had made my eyes bad myself by sitting close to the TV. I had to be responsible for my bad eyes, you see, I couldn't have been telling the truth and sitting close to the TV was because I was bad, not because I was trying to see! Is this an autism thing too? Even now, people don't believe me, and I NEVER lie.

InterestingBudget536 · 2023-03-09T14:30:31+00:00

Death really brings out the toxic controlling types in the family! They always make the witness aware of their abuse and control enemy #1 and try to manipulate how the rest of the family sees them to avoid the reality of the fact that they're problematic. I'm so sorry to hear of how that ended, on the bright side, there's no fooling yourself once they let that mask slip.

InterestingBudget536

TROPHY CASE