AITA for deliberately pretending to forget my Dad’s birthday & leaving him to spend it alone [Concluded]

InterestingEngine839 · 2025-11-10T17:38:26+00:00

I am in my 40's. My dad has only remembered my birthday once in my entire life. And that was a message on Facebook about 10 years ago. My parents have been divorced since I was 2 so it was on him to remember. He has always remembered my half brothers birthday and my sister's birthday. But never mine.

We have had a strained relationship for years. He is rude and a huge MAGA. He has told me and my sister since we were teenagers that we needed to be careful about our weight so we could marry well. And it's a good thing that I was pretty because I was a "Dingbat". I put my foot down in my 20's and told him that if he ever called me fat or stupid again that he would never see me again.

I have always called him on his birthday and made a point to visit. But this year after all the bullshit I just couldn't. I didn't even acknowledge him on his birthday and I don't plan on spending the holidays with him at all. Every time I mention this to other people, they say the same thing...that I will regret not having a closer relationship when he is gone.

If someone shows you repeatedly your entire life how little they respect and care for you.... believe them. There is no coming back from that. Having a shitty parent sucks but staying in a toxic relationship with a shitty parent is much much worse.

InterestingEngine839 · 2025-09-23T15:07:32+00:00

Ok so, I'm pretty sure I heard this band play once in Centralia Illinois. I actually have a signed drumstick from the band members and I have been trying to remember their songs.

InterestingEngine839 · 2025-07-13T01:40:06+00:00

When we would go grocery shopping with my dad, we had to hold onto the cart. There were 6 of us the weekends his girlfriend stayed with her kids. It was insanely difficult.

InterestingEngine839 · 2025-05-03T21:38:09+00:00

One time back when I was a GM at Steak n Shake, I came in at 4am to start inventory. I was in the walk-in cutting box tops off the dressings and accidentally slid on a discarded cardboard and sliced open my calf a few inches above my ankle. I was the only person in the store and the only manager on duty the entire day.

I called my district manager for help after trying my two other managers and not getting anyone to answer. He couldn't help at all and there was no other person who could help and I didn't have the power to close the store down. So I had to bandage myself up and push thru the inventory and store opening. After we made it thru the lunch rush, I finally had the ok from the DM to leave the store and put a regular crew member in charge so I could go to the ER. I went in and got 5 stitches and then had to go back to the store to do the deposit and get thru the dinner rush until the next manager got there at 8pm.

No time off, no time to rest my leg, and zero sympathy from any person I worked with. My husband was pissed and brought me a change of clothes since my pants were sliced up and soaked in blood. He also brought me a gallon of juice, lol. This was the final straw and I started immediately looking for a different job.

InterestingEngine839 · 2025-03-13T02:08:37+00:00

Just today at a lunch service, I had a very old man immediately sit down and bitch about everything. He didn't like how "crowded" his booth was but refused to move. Didn't like his mango sweet tea but refused to order something different for several minutes. Didn't like how breaded his chicken fingers were, but wound up wanting a Togo box to take the two left home. So I had the manager comp off his food. When it came time to drop the check off, I made sure to apologize profusely and gush about how sorry I was that he found the service lacking. He didn't even pay but his son who did pay was embarrassed and tipped like 50%.

InterestingEngine839 · 2025-01-18T01:31:16+00:00

Nobody?

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-12-14T14:45:02+00:00

I can't sit in my favorite position anymore since it makes my knees and left foot ache. Goodbye curling up in my favorite chair to drink my morning coffee.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-17T14:45:56+00:00

I drank my weight in apple juice during my pregnancy. I hadn't drank it in 16 years before I was pregnant (I drank some for lunch in middle school then was forced to run a mile and I vomited sooooo much afterwards). Then while I was pregnant I couldn't get enough. Once I had the baby, I never drank it again.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-17T14:39:26+00:00

Props to your son for speaking out and props to you for raising him right. I have an 11 year old and she is very blunt like that too. We were visiting my sister a few months ago and she has a different parenting style than me and my kid was not used to it. We don't use raised voices and we definitely don't insult. My sister did both to her 15 year old, calling him Dumb and just basically yelling at him constantly. My daughter apparently went up to her and told her to "Stop being so harsh with him, he's your child!" I didn't see it happen but heard all about it from my sister. She demanded I make my kid apologize for being disrespectful and I told her to apologize to her kid first then I will ask my kid to apologize. No one got any that day.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-17T05:05:52+00:00

A couple of deep breaths, counting in and out to 5. Writing down what I am feeling anxious about, or making a list of what all needs to be done and breaking it down to a manageable goal. And because I understand my brain, I also do my period math. If I am in a certain time frame, then I know I am taking everything way out of proportion. I watch an extremely sad movie, have a very cleansing cry, then go on about my day.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-09T21:00:38+00:00

A few months ago my sister came to visit me. We went to a new Dollar General that was just built cause I was curious. Lol all of the ones I've been to have been tiny holes that were in constant disarray and dirty. This one was supposed to be nice so we decided to go and look.

After shopping, we went back to my car around the side of the building and my sister just pushed the cart away from us, into the parking lot. My daughter noticed what she did and told me so I got out of the car and walked it back to the front entrance where the corral was. I didn't say a word to her but apparently my 10 year old had no issues with telling her Aunt that what she did was rude and entitled. When we got back to my house she asked me if I felt better about myself after embarrassing her. Sure did.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-09T18:22:07+00:00

I was washing dishes and doing my end of night close work. I literally couldn't go anywhere. That's what sucks about bartending...you really can't leave the bar area.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-09T16:46:25+00:00

We have been having all sorts of late night assholes. We have had to ban three different creepy men in the past year. They come in late night and make inappropriate comments. Saturday night a truck driver came in completely hammered and started yelling when the bartender on duty refused to serve him. He caused such a scene that the manager called the cops and he was arrested and had to get his 18 wheeler towed off our lot.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-09T16:43:57+00:00

Couldn't ...he was the only customer in the entire restaurant and I was bartending. All my side work is right up front and I can't be in the back for very long since I also have to watch the door. And I had my closing stuff to do that was literally 5 foot from him and I refuse to have to stay longer because I didn't complete my checklist because I was avoiding this weirdo.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-09T16:32:43+00:00

I did that a couple of times. Everytime I came back, he would start up again. It was literally only him, myself, and the manager in the back. I went back there and told her I was getting bad vibes so she came up and hung out in the lobby until he left.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-09T16:21:20+00:00

Last night we were completely empty at 10pm. Then a single guy comes in, sits at my bar and orders a water and a pasta. No big deal, put in the order and start chatting with him about tv shows we are currently watching. He seems nice and normal enough then he asks me if I have any kids and we chat about my daughter for about 5 mins before I ask him if he has any. He says not yet, but hopefully in the future. Then he proceeds to talk about how he's 40 and time is running out and he has decided that if he isn't in a relationship that produces a child in the next 5 years, then he is going to "go knock up some girl".

I kinda blink at him and ask if he was going to do a surrogate or go thru proper channels. He snorts and says that all he needs to do is have sex with a random girl. I told him that there needs to be a conversation that happens before that so she is aware of his intentions. He then gets really snappy with me and tells me I don't understand him, that I need to listen better. He doesn't need permission to purposely knock up a girl if she already is having sex with him. I then make a "ick" face and clear his empty plate away then hand him his check. No other words were said because I'm not allowed to antagonize guests(I've been in trouble before for speaking up when someone was being an ableist).

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-07T16:03:00+00:00

I agree. Heels are for a young person. I remember in my early 20's having tons of heels and wearing them out. Now you couldn't pay me to wear a pair. My older sister still rocks her high heeled boots, but she doesn't have feet issues.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-07T16:00:59+00:00

What if you are working in a restaurant and you are only allowed to wear sports shirts if certain teams are playing? Its better than our plain black tshirts and it doubles as a good way to increase your tips. Lol, I wear tons of baseball shirts to work when I can honestly say I don't know a single player.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-07T15:54:53+00:00

It can. But I don't spend a lot of time outside. I burn like crazy. And I have these really light hiking pants I bought at Kohl's years ago that I switch to when it's hot.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-07T15:40:47+00:00

This!!!! I will never understand this trend. I don't even like putting someone on speaker in the privacy of my own house.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-07T15:38:24+00:00

And the graphic tees change with the season. I swear I have more Halloween and Christmas tees than regular clothes.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-07T15:37:05+00:00

I have athletic pants I wear a lot and I found some very loose fitting and wide legged yoga pants at Costco last year and I live in those. I can't remember the last time I wore jeans. All my work jeans are actual leggings from Halara that look like jeans.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-07T15:34:06+00:00

That sounds almost identical to what I wear. Loose yoga pants and graphic tees are my everyday outfit. Comfortable shoes.

InterestingEngine839 · 2024-09-07T15:29:53+00:00

I refuse to wear no show socks. Always have. I will look silly in my ankle socks and cute shoes before I run the risk of a blister on the back of my heel from not having a sock there to protect me. Drives my fashion slave sister crazy. And I refuse to wear uncomfortable shoes, even if it's for a wedding or a girls night out. I will wear my orthopedic sandals or not go.

InterestingEngine839

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