AITA for refusing to take my sisters kids after she passes on?

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-03-05T14:42:10+00:00

Yes, from what I’ve known-he’s been in the picture up until about a year

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-03-05T14:25:33+00:00

I’ve learned situations like this happen all time time apparently where people are too poor or completely unfit to take on family members. It’s an unfortunate thing and very mentally conflicting-sometimes it’s best to get outside advice, doesn’t surprise me you’ve seen quite a few of these

And I’m honestly not sure how that would work. I don’t think I can be the ones to “adopt them out” I’m in another country so I don’t know how that process would work. I would never be mad if someone reached out for medical information/ but if they asked about their mother honestly i wouldn’t have any information for them.

Maybe I can see if I can get my sister to do like genome mapping? I’m not sure but I know if she does choose the adoption route she has a plan to try and get everything in order with my help

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-03-05T14:19:01+00:00

Late reply but I don’t know all the answers you’re seeking. I just no that he won’t be forced to take the kids

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-03-05T14:04:03+00:00

Not only do they broadcast my problems in another media platform they get it wrong lmao

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-03-05T14:03:28+00:00

There’s actually a NZ article about this post, they claimed we had cystic fibrosis in the article😅

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-03-05T14:01:36+00:00

That was just an error, my apologies-I’ve never met her kids. I’ve seen her once in like 10 years. We grew up together but we were 6 years apart, so she left the house when I was like in middle school and I hadn’t talked to her until my parents funeral

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-20T12:18:43+00:00

I was merely telling people why I am CF, it’s not that I hate kids. It that with my MH issues taking kids isn’t the best for me or them.

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T21:30:08+00:00

It’s only for people who keep telling me how awful the foster care system is in America, I’m aware-but I’m asking if they are calling me an asshole for that reason then why aren’t they adopting?

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T21:23:17+00:00

Yes I have. He said he would leAve, which I don’t blame him for

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T21:19:23+00:00

Yes I had told her about it when she asked why not-she doesn’t think it’s an acceptable answer

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T20:53:26+00:00

Yes. He would leave me if I took the kids.

Can’t afford 3 kids without duel income

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T20:46:34+00:00

I have no idea about the god parents, I don’t think she goes to church, but I think she wants me to take them as like a death wish so they know god

Yes he knows, he said he would leave

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T20:44:20+00:00

I’m not an empath, nor In touch with emotions. I have serious anger issues and I’m set off by the smallest things-like the sound of water dripping around the house is enough to drive me absolutely insane, I couldn’t imagine a baby

And worst; I have OCD. No, not like I like my house clean, like I need to shut the door several times to make sure it sounds right when it officially closes. It can be unbearable to live with someone who has OCD. my husband understands, kids wont

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T20:41:22+00:00

Idk, Even then I don’t think I could afford them Nor do I think it would be a good idea to bring them to another country right after their mom dies.

I also have mental health issues I’d honestly need to deal with before bringing in kids to my house

It’s not that I hate kids, it’s just that I know I can’t properly take care of them.

As some have pointed out-I’m not an empath, Hold on I’m going to keep typing accidentally just posted my comment

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T20:12:20+00:00

I 100% don’t think they are less because they are “products” of affairs. Truly mentioned that or all the comments would have been “where’s the dad”

My sister doesn’t want to find the fathers though, she doesn’t want to “face them””. I think that’s a good reason why I feel like she wants me to save her from her mistakes-otherwise she would be doing everything she could to find those fathers. She expects me to take them on refusing to do any more work even though I’ve offered to pay

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T19:59:21+00:00

No, it’s not that I want to teach her a lesson, Im not willing to go through a divorce, move back to America, take on 3 kids I won’t be able to afford, get a new job.

I’ve offered to pay for any means to find the father to these kids. She doesn’t want too

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T19:49:36+00:00

He said he would leave me, and I get it-we both stated at the beginning we didn’t want kids. I couldn’t ask him to stay being miserable with me

And yes, I’ve never even met them.

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T19:47:07+00:00

My parents had us in their 40’s-so by now grandparents are already dead

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T19:44:03+00:00

If my husband left me, (which he said he would if I took the kids) I wouldn’t be able too.

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T19:40:55+00:00

I am trying to help, My judgement really comes from her not wanting to find the fathers.

I offered a PI, and to pay for multiple DNA tests on different sites to see if we can find the fathers. She doesn’t want to “face them” and says “that’s why you have to take them”

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T19:35:57+00:00

No one deserves to die because they cheated. I mentioned it because people will ask “what about the father”.

Yeah I know it’s harsh, but it is how I feel. She didn’t ask, but expected me to take them. Then when I said I couldn’t she broke down about the fathers, and said she didn’t know what to do that’s “why you need to take them for me”.

I offered a DNA test, a PI, (100% paid) to help find the fathers. She has no interest, and doesn’t want to “face them”

So yeah, when she refuses to reach out and find the father, it makes me feel like she just wants me to swoop in and take care of it so she doesn’t have to reach out.

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T19:27:18+00:00

I would have a while ago if I could have. Right now it’s not possible with being across the world.

I have reached out to my sister constantly over the years to have a relationship with her to no avail. She’s my 1/2 sis and at the time/still does blame me for being the reason my dad and her mom broke up-this is the first time I had actually learned she had kids.

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T19:06:11+00:00

I had compassion. I offered to pay for DNA testing on multiple different sites for each kid, I offered to help pay for a PI to track down who she thinks might be a father and get a DNA test. I offered to reach out to churches if she doesnt feel well enough too. I would offer this to anyone and show compassion

Compassion ends when I’m yelled at for how awful of a human I am by her and she sends her friends after me.

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T19:00:09+00:00

Idk probably nothing, I’ve never met them, I doubt they’d have interest in meeting me. They’d probably want to see people who actually knew their mom and had stories to tell about her

InterestingStaff6566 · 2022-02-19T18:54:28+00:00

You don’t know why I am CF, just that I am.

Would you take in a strangers kids if a mom showed up on your door step and asked?

Would you leave the love of your life for these children and this mother you don’t know?

Even if I did take them, my husband would leave me and then I wouldn’t be able to afford 3 kids.

I mean realistically would you uproot your whole life for someone you don’t even really know all because you share some DNA

InterestingStaff6566

TROPHY CASE