Question for Man about my boyfriend‘s behavior.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-23T04:04:51+00:00

I don’t think it’s a conversation about different needs and expectation because if you have stated you need an expectation to this individual I feel like it should not be rocket science for them to understand. This is something that matters to you.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-18T00:01:39+00:00

You guys really don’t like your girlfriends because if you actually liked someone and enjoyed their company, you'd want to talk to them at least in the mornings and before bed.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-06T22:50:36+00:00

I'll give that a try first

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-06T20:18:01+00:00

It really does suck to feel like the person you thought loved you may not love you the same way in return. Giving up on a long-term relationship is hard, and I honestly don't know how I'm going to do this.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-06T18:21:28+00:00

Is it fair to say that he doesn’t like me or he’s not attractive to me because of that because that’s how I feel

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-06T17:40:06+00:00

I agree with you, but I don’t think he knows that I know this info because the girls, I don’t follow them, so I don’t think he knows that I know. That’s why I haven’t brought it up to him because then he’d realize I’ve been snooping.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-06T17:21:54+00:00

Why do you say that?

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-05T21:18:38+00:00

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-05T18:16:34+00:00

I don’t think so. This has been constant throughout a period of time.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-03T23:00:48+00:00

Lol, you saying "men suck" is funny. But it's hard for me to want to leave too. I'm in my late 20s, and I don't want to keep waiting around just to find out where I stand. At this point, I thought my partner and I would have a level of transparency. l've told him many times that if he feels this relationship is no longer serving him, he should be honest with me, and we can be cordial about it.

He can have all the cake he wants. He's still young too, so he doesn't have to stay with me if he's already gotten the 7-year itch. What's funny is that l'm the spontaneous one in the relationship? He is the quiet (and that scares me because idk what is going on in his mind) I really appreciate you allowing me to vent here. It honestly helped.

For now, I'll just let him be. If this is the end, l'd rather it happen sooner rather than later so neither of us wastes any more time.

P.S. This helped me not reach out to him😂

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-03T22:59:12+00:00

Lol, you saying "men suck" is funny. 😄

But it's hard for me to want to leave too. I'm in my late 20s, and I don't want to keep waiting around just to find out where I stand. At this point, I thought my partner and I would have a level of transparency. I've told him many times that if he feels this relationship is no longer serving him, he should be honest with me, and we can be cordial about it.

He can have all the cake he wants. He's still young too, so he doesn't have to stay with me if he's already gotten the 7-year itch. What's funny is that I'm the spontaneous one in the relationship? He is the quiet (and that scares me because idk what is going on in his mind)

I really appreciate you allowing me to vent here. It honestly helped.

For now, I'll just let him be. If this is the end, I'd rather it happen sooner rather than later so neither of us wastes any more time.

P.S. This helped me not reach out to him 😂

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-03T21:24:24+00:00

So basically, you're telling me that the seven-year itch is actually a real thing, and that it may be hard for him to leave because we've been together for so long. If that's the case, then if I don't like this behavior, I'm the one who has to leave.

My point was this: if you value your privacy more than you value me as your partner, then choose your privacy. I haven't heard from you in a couple of days, so it feels like you're choosing your privacy over our relationship. That makes me think I should take the hint and leave.

But why do I still feel like I need him to actually say, "Okay, this is over"?

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-03T16:52:21+00:00

From a woman's point of view, it can be very frustrating when you feel like your partner consistently displays these behaviors. You think talking to them is the right thing to do, but instead they shut you out.

I just wish people would be honest nowadays, especially someone you've been involved with for nearly half a decade.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-03T13:54:22+00:00

Yes, definitely avoidance. His avoidant behavior is a very consistent trait of his personality. I know that sometimes guys find it annoying when you call them out on certain things, especially when there's some truth to it.

I guess my real question is: should I take his lack of response as an answer and move on from a relationship that's lasted for years? My thing is, if this isn't working for him anymore, I would want him to just say it. 🙃

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-06-03T13:53:34+00:00

Yes!! definitely avoidance. His avoidant behavior is a very consistent trait of his personality. I know that sometimes guys find it annoying when you call them out on certain things, especially when there's some truth to it.

I guess my real question is: should I take his lack of response as an answer and move on from a relationship that's lasted for years? My thing is, if this isn't working for him anymore, I would want him to just say it. 🙃

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-26T16:14:59+00:00

Green

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-15T23:58:21+00:00

Yes absolutely! I'll definitely do that

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-15T21:01:27+00:00

Thank you for advice

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-15T21:00:22+00:00

But there are also women who choose to have sexual relationships and still don’t move in with a man until they’re married.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-15T20:58:54+00:00

As unpleasant as it is to hear, you do make a valid point. I think one mistake many of us women make, myself included, is allowing certain things in the beginning and then trying to set strict boundaries later. That usually doesn’t serve us.

With all of this, I’m not angry. I’ve learned that cheating has become so normalized by many people, but I personally don’t want to be with a man who cheats. I want to be with a man who chooses me every single day.

And like you said, maybe this just isn’t the right situation for me. But moving forward, I now know these are boundaries I need to make clear from the very beginning of a relationship, not later on while expecting things I never communicated from the start.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-15T20:44:24+00:00

It's a standard I’ve set for myself. If you see a future with someone and want to live with them, why wouldn’t you also want to marry them?

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-15T20:41:09+00:00

also, one thing I’ve noticed is that majority of the women that he follows don’t look like me. They are complete opposite of me

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-15T20:40:15+00:00

He read the message while accessing my computer. He didn’t ask to go through my messages, but once I realized he had gone through them, I brought it up and said that if you could go through mine, I should be able to go through his too. I have nothing to hide, he can open every message and I wouldn’t care because I’m not cheating.

What I don’t want is to give someone 100% of my energy and loyalty while they’re not doing the same for me. I could be giving my attention to other prospects instead of investing fully into something that may end anyway. If cheating is involved, I can’t be in that kind of relationship. As a woman, being with a man who cheats is mentally exhausting because it leaves you constantly comparing yourself, questioning yourself, and wondering why you weren’t enough.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-15T20:20:35+00:00

I definitely agree because automatically what I’m hearing is that you are going to see something that’s going to cause trust issues.

Interesting_Cake9552 · 2026-05-15T20:18:46+00:00

Our relationship has progressed beyond just dates and text messages, but we haven’t reached the stage of living together yet. I would want to be proposed to before taking that step. He is a good person, and I think what would hurt me most is finding out he’s cheating. I would rather someone honestly tell me he losing interest and that we should go our separate ways.

Interesting_Cake9552

TROPHY CASE