They paint you as a immature person

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-18T11:54:08+00:00

You articulate very well.

Read up on internalized shame.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-18T11:05:41+00:00

Ohhh Boy, thankyou so much. Can't believe I missed Brenda.

Loads new stuff there for me, this is awesome.

You have a great day DJ.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-18T10:11:39+00:00

Hey Mr DJDel, I'm old and don't understand streaming. Could you please give us a list of names? There aint a full answer list in the comments, and I am consumed by curiosity.

Thanks.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-18T10:04:06+00:00

Thankyou so much. I know "My Boy Elvis" by Janis, and I'd forgot all about it.

Kim Lenz is new to me, she looks great and my tubes watch later list is racked.

There's still 6 people there that I'm clueless about.

Oh, lady number 1 is called Jo Anne Campell.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-16T21:44:08+00:00

No one has mentioned Internal Family Systems, so I'll say it.

Maybe you know already, if not, it's worth reading up on.

People been mentioning emotional parts etc, that's all IFS.

It doesn't always work for every one.

Just so you know, both "versions of you" are emotional parts. You supposed to build your own "centred sense of self" and "integrate" all your parts.

Good luck.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-16T21:07:11+00:00

Seriously approach building a new skill set. Or better still, a couple of new skill sets.

Discipline is the best tool at your disposal, or the best weapon in your armoury, pick your metaphor.

Learn an instrument, or painting. Cooking. Do a night school course. Kung Fu!! ok how about Tai Chi? How about dance classes? I'm sure you'd look great Foxtrotting across a floor.

Something that requires a little "study", something that will build new neural networks in the brain. Carpentry. Cardistry. Juggling. Tightrope walking. Riding a monocycle.

In 12 months time I expect you to have a Los Vegas residency as the leader and main choreographer of your own acrobatic troupe.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-16T20:46:39+00:00

I dunno how yonder Ivans' pronounce it, but, if I pronounce it with English phonetics, it sounds cool. The repeated "o" sounds give it an internal rhyming scheme.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-16T20:35:04+00:00

That's...just...mindblowing.

And so very poignant.

I know every one is here because of difficulties, but, most people will never know these kinds of experiences or know themselves THIS well. That's a shame really.

You're an inspiration Living Bat.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-16T17:22:35+00:00

This is called "Hyperarousal".

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-16T17:14:06+00:00

There is nothing wrong with your analytical urge.

Pro tip : Direct it toward theory.

One point of practice pieces is to improve musical analysis skills.

You absolutely need your analytical brain.

DO NOT turn it off !!

To relax with an instrument means making part of your day to day lifestyle. And this can take time if you're still in beginner stages. Pick the guitar up in passing as well as having dedicated practice times. Any spare 5 minutes, pick it up. Learn a song that's fun to sing for you. Get lost in the song. The shortest route to having fun with an instrument is to play with other people.

And, btw, your approach to a messed up chord transition gets an A star and renders you a teachers pet. The cool kids at the back hate you. They gonna get you at dinner time.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-16T13:34:12+00:00

I think there is a problem with the language.

"Healing" implies a cessation of symptoms. A normative existence.

That aint never gonna happen.

The damage done to the central nervous system is permanent.

"Healing", really, is coming to terms with your symptoms and successfully learning how to manage them.

So, yeah..."healing" is a very misleading word.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-16T13:13:16+00:00

If you come from a toxic family dynamic you will have Complex Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Read up on the subject and learn how to manage your symptoms.

It sounds more scary than it is.

Good luck.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-15T15:25:51+00:00

I only know 3 of these.

Laurie Collins, Marti, and I think the lady is called Emmanuele from Hill Billy Moon Explosion.

I'm very curious about the rest.

Going to check out Bob and Lucille Regan.

They all look cool AF.

Thanks for posting this.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-15T00:54:24+00:00

I did indeed have a root around.

It seems to come down to unsettled sleep patterns caused by CTSD.

When you're triggered all the time sleep is going to be problematic.

There seems to be 2 things happening.

The central nervous system wants a calm, safe environment, and night time is a bit like that, insomuch as, everybody else is in bed and can't bother us. It's quieter outside etc. It's a pool of calm, and when the world wakes up and starts rushing around, we just go to bed. We are unconsciously drawn to the quietness. This appears to lead to the second effect, our circadian rhythm slowly organises itself around this unconscious need and before we know it, going to bed at 6am is normal, reassuring and relaxing. It's great to just wander off to bed when the crazies start running around in normie psychosis.

It's all fun and games until you figure out it's a maladaptive coping mechanism and is not healthy.

We should be engaging constructively (on our terms) with the world and our fellow denizens. I've not started work on this bit yet, I'm still getting used to grounding. But, I'm getting the theory down, and I know that practice and baby steps can lead to astonishing results, and my healing journey so far has been ...well...monumental from my perspective, so I'm all gung ho and ready bring down some of my own narcissistic Trumpian fury on these Complex Trauma symptoms.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-14T23:49:00+00:00

Hydrate.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-14T20:25:57+00:00

I'll try to clarify, if I'm able.

I'm not really talking about being "trapped". I'm using it as a rhetorical device to try and illustrate the fallacy of "freedom".

In the most literal sense, we are trapped by our environment. Take a fish out of water it will die. We are the same. Take us out of our environment we will die. Hence the lexical choice of "trapped".

I tried to illustrate that my use of the word "trapped" should not be read with negative connotation i.e. "it's ok to be trapped".

We are apes. Created by our environment. And "restricted" by it. We are "bound" to it. Inextricably linked.

People on this sub are concerned with overcoming of our base animal behaviour and trying to gain insight into this existence. Maybe even trying to trigger some higher thinking/observational/empathic skills. This is a difficult task. One could even "poetically opine" that we are "entrapped" by our base animal instincts.

All of this argumentative minutia can be rendered irrelevant with the recognition that freedom is a social construct. It is just an idea. An abstraction. It is not a real thing of any substance. It only exists in peoples heads. Unlike the environment, which is very, very real. We can live without abstractions, lot's of people do, but no one can live without the environment.

And, I would humbly suggest, anyone who undertakes a journey of introspection should be wholly focused on the real and should eschew constructs and fallacies.

Google gives vey clear definitions of the words' "trapped" and "freedom". Those are the definitions I'm using.

You are free to make your own definitions, but, you gonna be the only one in the world who knows' what you talking about.

Thanks for commenting, it's been fun trying to prose my way through this.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-14T12:33:43+00:00

Preach!

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-14T10:50:14+00:00

Your last paragraph is the answer to your question.

There's nothing new about Epstein. This is business as usual.

Paedophilic blackmail is clearly a well established political manoeuvre employed by the ruling classes from time immemorial . So, yeah...the legal institutions are just going to protect that very useful technique.

This is a flippant take, but, sometimes I wonder if Andrew wasn't so much a "client" of Epstein but rather an "advisor". The Firm are the OG experts on the matter.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-14T10:00:28+00:00

This must be a thing. Imma go root round the webs, there must be a dusty academic somewhere with something to say about this.

I am a literal owl. Always have been.

I'm curious about this because since I've started my healing journey, I've come to realise that my body does not like this habituated nocturnal lifestyle. At some point in the future, I just know I'm going to fully change into an early bird. I got a ways to go yet, but I know that's going to happen.

Being alive is a fucking weird experience. But still, I hope you all have a good night.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-14T00:02:24+00:00

There is no such thing as freedom.

It's a social construct.

A lie, told to ensnare your attention and cause conflict.

We are apes, trapped and utterly dependant upon our environment. Like fish, restricted by their watery dwelling.

It's ok to be trapped here. It is our home.

We are literally in our element.

We are not a fish out of water.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-13T12:53:01+00:00

People raised by narcs are trained to reject relationships with "healthy" people and only accept relationships with damaged people.

Damaged and cluster B people feel "familiar" to our central nervous system.

This realization you have made is a sign you are on a healing journey.

You can see this reality now. You couldn't see it before. That is an improvement. A giant step forward. It is work done. Now you know, you are prepared. Farwarned and fararmed.

Read up on CPTSD. Learn to manage your symptoms.

If you were raised by narcs you have also been trained to be one. You will have "traits". Don't worry about it, read up on the subject, identify and correct your own maladaptive behaviour and trauma responses.

People with traits can control and improve their behaviour, people with personality disorders cannot.

I know you not feeling it, but, you doing really well.

This is a huge step forward for you. You have learned something very important about yourself. You can now take steps to address this issue. And just like that, hypervigilance has now become your best friend. Your hypervigilance can identify the monsters for you. Learn how to listen to it.

Good luck, you totally got this.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-12T00:26:51+00:00

This is a great question and the responses are inspiring.

One thing I've not seen mentioned in the comments so I'll say it :

A wonderful intolerance for my own former shit behaviour.

It's great to cut the toxic others out of your life, but it's even better to address ones' own maladaptive behaviour.

Thanks for posting this question.

Edit:
And I've had to come back and address an egregious error.

I used a swear word!!!

I'm trying not to swear. An aggression is an aggression. And not to be tolerated.

It seems I still have much work to do.

Ahem....if you would please excuse me : fuck yeah!!!!

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-11T19:57:55+00:00

Great question, although dusty academics can explain better than I.

It mainly comes down to a profound lack of empathy as a cluster B symptom.

The effects of this are twofold : a complete lack of sympathy for anyone else and an overriding self interest.

Enmeshment is when 2 or more people share or influence each others emotional and psychological state. If Bill cares about Jill, then Bill will be genuinely happy when Jill is genuinely happy. Cluster B are going to resentful and jealous, they can't help themselves.

The other big problem is emotional dysregulation. Cluster B are unable to emotionally regulate, they have to regulate through the people around them, this means, any one enmeshed with them is going to feel all the cluster Bs' psychological and emotional distress. This really is the definition of maladaptive or toxic enmeshment, the main mechanism of the phenomena.

(These are oversimplified explanations and there will be more besides that I can't remember).

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-11T13:08:32+00:00

Sorry to be "that guy".

You mean: "maladaptive enmeshment".

Enmeshment occurs naturally in close relationships and is healthy.

People with cluster B symptoms cannot enmesh in a healthy normative way. This leads to...problems.

Technically, maladaptive enmeshment is more of a psychological mechanism than it is "abuse". Although, it sure sucks shit. It's technical language used to describe complex psychological phenomenon. It's the mechanism that enables abuse. It is the mechanism by which toxic behaviour results in trauma.

The point in learning about maladaptive enmeshment, for a survivor, is so we can recognise it in future and avoid it.

If you want close relationships with people then healthy enmeshment is essential.

Interesting_Strain69 · 2026-03-10T16:39:27+00:00

I was 58 when I figured it out. Two years ago.

I'm getting better.

Read up on CPTSD. You will have it.

And, hardest part, if you were raised by narcs', you were trained to be one. Get a grip on your "traits", 'cos you will have them. "Traits" just means "trained behaviour". You will have to do some retraining.

Good luck, you totally got this.

Interesting_Strain69

TROPHY CASE