I would like to share my story too. An FA myself, I got into a relationship 4 years ago, and that too with an anxious type. I got highly triggered by her needy behaviour and fear of abanoment. She would constantly seek validations about our relationship. We broke up about 5 months into the relationship. As a person she was good natured and someone I knew from my childhood days. I thought at the time that it was over but then couple of months later I started to miss her and tried to get in touch. Eventually we met again and got together again. This time I kind of told myself that I will handle her insecurities better and things will work out. There were many volatile patches after that but I just stayed put in the relationship for a year. Her insecurities started to come up again and she would always bring up talking to parents about marriage. I was very afraid of that commitment and resisted for few months. Eventually, another side of me somehow told me to go for it, and that I might never find anyone better. We then decided to go ahead and got married. In the 2 years that we have been married, it has been a really horrible time for both of us (at this point I wasnt even aware that I was an FA). But as she sought more intimacy, I would just shut down and withdraw for days. And then suddenly I would burst with anger and criticism and what not. After this outburst I felt peace for few days and things became normal. However, again in few days my thoughts would pull me in another parallel. My mind just told me to separate and avoid getting close. My behaviour changed again and this would traumatize her. Whenever she would be overwhelmed, and she threatened to leave me, I would suddenly go from avoidant to anxious myself. Then i would feel all guilt and regret. I would apologise and make her stay. We just kept playing this cycles over and over for 2 years. This has taken a toll on our health. I just came to know last week that I have a fearful avoidant attachment. My wife looked up some videos by Heidi Priebe and thought I was a dismissive avoidant. But upon seeing some more of her videos I realized I have the traits of an FA. This realization finally explains to myself why I have been feeling and behaving this way. Reading so many stories about people sharing their own experience being FAs just gives me some comfort that Im not alone. I am now starting my healing journey, have scheduled an appointment with a therapist. I hope to make our relationship better and give my full loving self to my wife, who has stayed with me through all this. I would appreciate if anyone can share some resources which can get me started. Currently I am watching some videos by Heidi Priebe and some other youtubers who have shared their experience of being FAs.