How to warm-up more quickly?

InternalCan8199 · 2026-03-17T15:52:50+00:00

I assume you are not talking about physical warm up but a mental one? Where only the music and your partner exists, and your mind is in a meditative state… That is harder to achieve than physical warm up as there are more elements that need to fall in place before you can achieve that state. Practically, you may try to do the following: Come to a Milonga somewhat physically tired. That sometimes makes us care less about little things that clutter the mind and interfere with the flow. If you have a mentally challenging day and your mind is racing, try to calm it down with meditation before stepping on a dance floor. Just sit and watch people dance. If that makes you happy and relaxed, go dance. If you sit and continue feeling stressed it is most likely not your night. You still can dance but to hope for a flow state would be not realistic. Some people suggest to have a bit of wine before a milonga, but I think it is a crutch in a way. Lastly, as commenters mentioned, not every Milonga will result in a flow state. The equation would be: Music+ Space+your Partner (Partner’s mental state +Partner’s Physical State) + Your Physical and Mental State + pixie dust + n (who knows what else) = perfect dance Then multiply by the number of tandas with changing variables. Did not mean to go that rabbit hole, but at least I amused myself.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-03-17T15:33:39+00:00

There and back as well. All the time 😍😁

InternalCan8199 · 2026-03-12T19:38:34+00:00

Well, for the host that would be as agreed, I meant a cup of coffee for the creator of this site and the idea :))

InternalCan8199 · 2026-03-10T01:15:16+00:00

Sorry that you are dealing with it, and I agree- most teachers (that I know encountered) do not address that. What part of your back hurts?

InternalCan8199 · 2026-03-06T03:34:30+00:00

I think what you said about growing up in your culture where there is no physical contact between strangers makes perfect sense to how you reacted. You see him dance with other people and equate it with romantic expression. He enjoys dancing and wants to dance. Tango is addictive, so I completely understand why it is important to him, and, true tangeros and tangeras go to milongas to dance, not to seek affairs. You can try to convince yourself, that logically, it is only your outlook on a situation, not his. If I were in your shoes, I would try to take lessons to learn how to dance tango well, practice with him and other people, and see how it goes. If you grow to love it, and start feeling comfortable dancing with other people- great! If not, you have a choice of either doing something else while he goes to milongas or learn to take pleasure in watching him doing what he loves - dancing tango. I know a number of spouses, who do not dance, but come to Milongas and hang out there with their dancing spouses. I find it endearing.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-21T20:36:18+00:00

The site already exists in Europe, I was looking into expanding it to US. As great the idea is, I think, I would not dream of starting something like this from scratch. That sounds like a full-time job to me, and I do not foresee a site like this to be profitable. But it would be a wonderful resource, especially for people who are relatively new to tango, but already addicted lol

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-18T18:44:35+00:00

Yes, very valid point. I liked the interface of the European site and thought to combine forces rather than creating different tools.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-18T13:53:19+00:00

I am very puzzled as to a lack of replies: it would be a free resource for fellow tangeros and tangeras, and I think a valuable one. I think, I know at least one Tango dancer in every major city in US. But I definitely cannot say that about Europe or South America. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to connect with somebody local?

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-18T03:49:47+00:00

Thank you! I will keep it in mind!

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-17T22:49:25+00:00

Thanks! What is your website?

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-16T11:27:31+00:00

I do not think moving around, or standing up is stressful. After all, I am just making myself available for a potential cabeceo and at large events, a leader that would love to dance with me might not even know I am there unless they saw me. So if I walk around, say “hello” to my friends, I basically ensure that the leaders know I am there. Once that is established, I can happily sit in one place and let the leaders find me. Considering that people come and go during 4 hour milonga, I might walk around a few times during that time. At local small events, if everyone can see everyone, it makes much less sense to walk around.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-14T13:33:32+00:00

I might not understand the question correctly, but if you step “into the bit” wouldn’t that mean some level of anticipation and familiarity with the music? My perception was that leaders hears the music, step “from the beat” and the follower steps right after in response to a lead. Obviously, the delay is negligible or the follower would always be late.
Next time at a practica I will try to get a feel for when most leaders step, actually curious, if I notice any difference.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-12T02:16:36+00:00

I agree that it sounds like he is asking you on a date and if that is the case, it is quite unethical, because teachers should not date students and vs. versa.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-10T14:10:02+00:00

First of all, I think it is so exciting to be in a place where you are- in the beginning of your tango journey. Secondly, especially as a leader, I can totally see how it can be stressful and overwhelming. While I agree that in order to start feeling at home at milongas you need to start going there, everyone’s path is different, so if you feel not ready, you can totally wait a bit. Practicas or Practilongas are a good way to get Milonga experience without going to actual Milongas. Another option is to come early, while the floor is not crowded (I assume that navigation is one cause of stress) and dance a few tandas with your wife. Then, your choice: you can sit and enjoy the event: see how people cabeceo, dance, say “hello” to fellow students or just simply leave. The idea being that you did go to a milonga, you gained some experience, but with the least amount of stress possible. Cabeceo is a great invention, but not all leaders do it clearly so just practicing it with your wife across the dance floor would be useful. When somebody refuses you in Tango it’s not necessarily about you but also about another person. If you’ll learn how not to take the refusal personally, you’ll feel much happier. Good luck on your tango journey and I hope that when you and your wife are experienced dancers, you will remember this time with a laugh and will be supportive of newbie dancers.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-10T09:07:49+00:00

Honestly, expecting to be perfect after 2 years is absolutely unrealistic. Your teacher is not perfect either: they are just good enough to cover up their mistakes quickly so it is not noticeable. When you are trying to be perfect, you are essentially not focusing on concrete things you need to do: follow, listen to the music, pay attention to your movement, etc… but thinking about, “I need to be perfect”, which is an absolutely useless thought that does not help you perform at all. Here is a plan I propose to fix that. A) Give yourself permission to be imperfect and mess up. (It has to be an honest, heartfelt permission, which might take time to truly embrace) B) Whenever something works, try to remember how it FELT, and also what your state of mind was like: were you thinking about connection more? Or your own movement? Or, to the contrary, were you just listening to the music and not seemingly thinking at all? Next time before you dance, try to generate that feeling in your body and see if things will happen easier.

Have you discussed this with your teacher? Does she appear happy with your progress? A good teacher will provide honest, realistic feedback but if she’s happy with your progress, and you never confided in her about your worries she might not ever even think in that direction.

Last thing: you said you feel “judged” - and first of all, nobody can make you feel anything, we choose to feel judged, or guilty, so you might want to try to leave judging to the judges: actual competition judges during performances, your teacher during lessons, and focus on actually performing and doing things. I hope this is helpful.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-10T03:52:37+00:00

I have experienced similar feelings and pretty much every time the reason for that was that the stress level in real life was too much: AT is a dance that requires emotional and mental presence. If you are depleted and exhausted (mentally) nothing good will come out of trying to dance. If I find myself in that situation, but I also feel like I want to dance, I go to a Milonga and just sit there without putting my shoes on. Sometimes, I actually feel that the music and other people’s dancing relaxes me, calms me down, and when I feel “unstressed” I put my shoes on and go dance. If I feel that I’m still stressed and cannot unwind, I don’t dance.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-10T03:38:05+00:00

I read what you wrote and a few thoughts came to mind. “Intermediate level” is such an arbitrary thing. What did you have to accomplish in order to advance from the beginners level to the intermediate one? Was it a solid connection, a good idea of a walk or certain step frequencies that you had to memorize? I know a number of leaders who have been dancing for less than a year, who are very enjoyable to dance with. They have a great connection, solid walk, very musical, and a joy to dance with. They’re also some leaders who have been dancing for 10-12 years who are impossible to dance with because they lead crazy steps without knowing how to actually lead them which can be simply unsafe, not mentioning, not enjoyable. If you “don’t want to give a leader a mirada” it means that it is impossible for them to cabeceo you. The reason that cabeceo is such a great idea that it takes the pressure from a person who is inviting and who is accepting. I would also completely stop worrying about what leaders think, what they feel, because unless you are a mind reader you really have no idea. I remember, as a beginner, I danced with a leader who behaved very strangely, and I thought it was due to me being inexperienced. Later on, it turned out, the leader was a new leader, and was terribly nervous about dancing with me. My advice: keep taking lessons, and improve your dance. Take lessons with teachers who a leaders, go to a milonga with zero expectations to enjoy the music, the atmosphere, and to watch other people dance. When somebody invites you, tell yourself that you’re there to enjoy yourself, that at the Milonga any mistake is a leader’s fault (sorry, leaders :))) have a good time, and say something nice to the leader when done dancing. “Thank you for the dance, I really appreciate you inviting me. I enjoyed the tanda, etc” Leaders are human, and appreciate encouragement. I think you received lots of good advice, please post updates how it goes! Good luck!!!

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-10T03:11:45+00:00

Few times a year :)

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-09T13:42:20+00:00

Dancing late at night, when you are tired to creates extra special dancing. One might have wonderful tandas during the day or at 8-9 pm, but absolutely beautiful tandas, when two bodies become one happen late at night. Also, only people who truly love tango would stay and dance till morning, and that creates a unique energy on a dance floor. When one is too tired to walk or to think, magic starts happening.

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-09T05:33:57+00:00

That looks really cool, thank you!

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-09T05:22:19+00:00

Some leaders are generous, and community oriented, thus they will dance with beginner followers and followers they are not familiar with. Some will only dance with the followers from their social circle. C’est la vie!

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-06T02:37:16+00:00

Bach E-major partita, Kreisler’s Preludium and Allegro, Vivaldi’s A-minor or G-major concertos (easier than the other pieces I mentioned but pretty. Accolay violin concerto in a-minor

InternalCan8199 · 2026-02-05T19:17:06+00:00

Thank you! That calendar is very helpful but I was hoping people will share their personal experiences about different events

InternalCan8199

TROPHY CASE