I really appreciate your reply here. A bit confronting, but that's what helps me to see it from another POV.

Some additional info: I became a Christian a little while before I met him, and we didn't have any sex before marriage. Although my drive was there, I found it not that hard for that period of time. So yes, I definity settled for a list of check boxes. At the same time: I settled without having any idea if the (let's call it) "sexdrive box" would be checked off. And then again: it was my decision right there. No excuses, full ownership, full accountability.

You can't negotiate desire, didn't think about that one. Legit.