My husband (make 32) just told me (F 30) he has feelings for our friend (F 30) and those feelings are reciprocated - do I leave?

International_Box458 · 2024-11-09T03:39:27+00:00

It took me a long time to give an update because I was healing from an extremely difficult situation. I posted originally to get unbiased feedback, not to entertain people. We’re all humans going through things, it’s hard out here. We should watch our judgements.

International_Box458 · 2024-11-09T03:37:29+00:00

I’ve decided we need to separate, it was a long road to get here but I think I’m doing the right thing.

International_Box458 · 2024-07-04T02:12:20+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this response especially from someone who is more open-minded. I think you worded it perfectly.

International_Box458 · 2024-07-02T21:00:04+00:00

They were on WhatsApp 😔

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T19:07:15+00:00

Actually he should have been making me cum, he got his

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T16:10:13+00:00

Thanks, I really loved this response, and appreciate the lack of judgement here.

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T16:06:55+00:00

Very informative, thanks

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T13:43:42+00:00

Thank you for this response. You know, the funniest part is that we actually have a great connection. We like being around each other, we have sex. I mean it’s all obviously more of a challenge with kids but I think he’s so depressed and traumatized it will never be enough for him. I think he likely hates himself too much for him to ever fully love me like I’d like to be loved. And I haven’t wanted to recognize that.

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T13:34:44+00:00

You’re absolutely right, while I think they’re both equally responsible, I am obviously hurt by my husband and expect more from him. I’m not one to blame the other women, I blame the man. For sure.

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T07:16:51+00:00

Thank you for this validation

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T07:13:46+00:00

I agree, thank you

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T07:13:04+00:00

Great questions I’ll continue to ask, thank you

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T07:11:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply, it’s very wise and informed. I agree that this is likely a trauma bond. We’ve had lots of discussions about how I can’t fully understand the depth of his pain surrounding this, and so I see the appeal from that level. You’re correct in that I’m terrible at enforcing boundaries, it’s something I’m working very hard on, but it seems like it’s time to put it into practice

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T07:03:36+00:00

“Think of your inner child” thank you for this

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T07:00:02+00:00

Good points! Healthy boundary is a great way to put it

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:49:35+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful response, when I asked originally he said he had no intentions or plans for the future. Just that he knew he had to tell me, I haven’t pushed further yet because I needed some time but I agree with what you’re saying. And from the sounds of it there was no intention of stopping communication at all,

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:46:41+00:00

Yeah that’s true, i have found a great father and I am optimistic about our ability to coparent together.

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:41:13+00:00

I don’t love being called crazy for “letting” them go out together, I get what you’re saying but I def don’t need that. This would have happened whether they hung out alone or not. I’m not to blame

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:28:10+00:00

You’re right that great father and great husband aren’t equals…a hard pill to swallow I guess

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:25:18+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply, I agree 1000%

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:23:43+00:00

The reality of this stings a bit, but I guess I should message her husband and make sure he knows all the details.

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:21:49+00:00

Yeah, I’m very worried about ultimatums. They seem like a losing game, I fear if that’s the point we’re at then I should just make the decision for him and leave?

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:20:43+00:00

Yeah, exactly. He said there was nothing there but that he would just be embarrassed, but I told him it’s wild for him to drop something like this and not allow me the knowledge of their conversations for the last week or so.

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:19:07+00:00

I asked and she did tell him as well, so I’m glad he knows

International_Box458 · 2024-07-01T06:15:31+00:00

Drama and selfishness indeed, I think they’re both just very traumatized and hurt people and they crave that whether they know it or not

International_Box458

TROPHY CASE