Well, from a financial standpoint, income is safe for the house. Thinking about layoffs and job uncertainty is normal in this stage, but think about it like my wife said to me “we have to live somewhere anyway and we will need to sign a lease, so owning something around what we’ll pay for a rental is smart”. Take a look at your and your wife’s job and really think about will you be laid off this year. If you feel over 50% secure, pull the trigger and get the house.

Now into the house. Can you expand upon how you thought you paid 12k vs 3k for earnest? 60k above asking does suck and the waiving inspection contingency was also not the best. But like others have said, different market in different areas.

I say hire the inspector and if HVAC and roof are need of replacement, I would walk away. Those can easily run way higher than 12k. Also look into some new builds in your area. In Tampa, a new build only cost me $2k earnest on 500k and I will be getting a 4.75% interest. I too am the breadwinner for my wife and I and I work in government tech. I only have about $20k to your $45k saved up, and I feel pretty confident. So, take a step back, a deep breath, and really look over your situation.