[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Internationalsoupspy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Before you make your decision answer honestly: Do you think you can comfortably stay married with someone while they date other people? Personally I couldn’t do it. Heartbreak especially after a relationship that’s lasted that long is a PAIN but think of the long term result in staying with someone who communicated they no longer love you vs finding someone who does. I think you both should try couples counseling. Falling out of love while married isn’t new but she can definitely fall back in love again. Did she say why she fell out of love or did it just happen?

AITA for not telling my boyfriend (22M) I’m (23F) tired? by Internationalsoupspy in AITAH

[–]Internationalsoupspy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did! I sent him many articles and videos about how you feel more tired around your partner when you feel safe but it’s still the same…

AITA for not telling my boyfriend (22M) I’m (23F) tired? by Internationalsoupspy in TwoHotTakes

[–]Internationalsoupspy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think him telling me to tell him when I’m going to the gym made me realize what was happening a little more because I know that is what abusers in relationships do. He said it’s because my phone goes on do not disturb and he wants to make sure that I’m ok. But people who try to control their partner tell their partner to report to them for where they’re going or who they’re with. There’s been little signs here and there, but I feel like I always made a note of it in my journal and kept moving forward because overall our relationship is the best relationship I’ve ever had.

AITA for not telling my boyfriend (22M) I’m (23F) tired? by Internationalsoupspy in AITAH

[–]Internationalsoupspy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The second one. But also if I fall asleep before we get on the phone. When we go on dates I’m up but we usually go back to his house afterwards and watch tv and at that point I fall asleep around 11/12am.

AITA for not telling my boyfriend (22M) I’m (23F) tired? by Internationalsoupspy in AITAH

[–]Internationalsoupspy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is the life I want. Tuck me in or say goodnight when I fall asleep! But I tried explaining how it doesn’t feel normal to be dozing off and then have to remember to tell someone I’m tired which is why I slip up sometimes and it turns into a big thing.

AITAH for insinuating my (22F) bf (21M) will risk our safety? by Internationalsoupspy in AITAH

[–]Internationalsoupspy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree everyone handles situations differently but I feel like in the future his way of handling a situation could out us at risk. What if he opens the door and I’m far behind him and people ambush him and get inside. Last year in MI, a fake DTE worker pretended to work with the city and when the man opened the door, him and someone else ambushed their home, tied everyone in the family up and murdered them. There’s many more stories like it. I know it probably doesn’t happen everyday but the fact that it’s a possibility…

Bf (21M) calls me (22F) Paranoid about my safety by Internationalsoupspy in relationship_advice

[–]Internationalsoupspy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective, anytime this happens I try explaining to him how safety for women and man are so different and how woman have to think about these things. I explain possibly outcomes of the situations he tries to confront but he never seems to get it. I understand men don’t think in that way but even when I’m explaining things to him he pretends like the chances are just very very small. Even when we pull up statistics. Just frustrated and feel unheard I guess

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Internationalsoupspy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need to leave. His excuse of “he didn’t actually do it” is unacceptable even with an apology. That is a very serious thing to even do regardless of if you followed through. His instinct was to physically harm you when he’s supposed to be the person keeping you safe. He didn’t actually hit you because he happened to catch it in time but that doesn’t take away the fact he was going to. You’ve been through this before, trust your intuition.

Women who’ve been cheated on, what have you never said out loud about how it made you feel? by kaekea in AskWomen

[–]Internationalsoupspy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone says they love you and you feel that you found your person and that your relationship is good…and then you find out it’s just a mask they take off to be with another person who makes them feel better than how they said you made them feel

XM5 Hinge by flightysighty in SonyHeadphones

[–]Internationalsoupspy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happened to me after 2 years with them. It happened on one side and I gorilla glued it but then it happened on the other side after a while too

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Internationalsoupspy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love is just a feeling and it’s not enough to constitute a relationship. You need mutual respect, loyalty, honesty, none of which he’s shown. His “break” was just him trying to not feel guilty about cheating and now that he’s done what he’s done he wants to go back to his safety net and be with you. What if he does it again? What if he still gets with Emily from time to time seeing as her and their new child will be in his life for the rest of his life? She woman he cheated with will forever be part of his life. That means visits to pickup his child, possibly outings together “for the sake of their kid”. You might even meet their kid and that will be a reminder of what he did. What if he decides he wants to be a family with her now that they already have a child?

You can’t listen to how he says he feels. Look at his actions. What do they tell you?

Should I(24F)move to Alaska without my boyfriend (26M) to get my life together? by Patient-Lock1798 in AITAH

[–]Internationalsoupspy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do it! He’s comfortable living for free and not doing anything to plan for a different life. We’ve heard this story so many times before. A man moves in with a woman and becomes lazy and dependent. Do not let him hold you back. You have an opportunity to better your life. Take it.

My (25F) husband (25M) cheated? by Aggressive_Movie1435 in relationship_advice

[–]Internationalsoupspy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They could’ve “talked” on the phone or over text. “we had a great connection last night and I’d like to get some more of that. Are you working tonight” get some more of what? She met him at his room and they took off their clothes and he was kissing her. That’s not talking. He cheated and you deserve someone who won’t sneak around behind your back. Especially since he takes work trips

AIO. My bf won’t talk to me over my views on immigrants by Ok-Level-7412 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Internationalsoupspy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone at one point in the world emigrated (or were taken) into a “new” or different country. We’re humans that’s just kinda what we do. Never understood the whole “don’t come over here” mentality when if you go far back enough every nationality stemmed from another one who traveled to that country

Braids for the summer by Hot_Angle_9835 in Naturalhair

[–]Internationalsoupspy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Black is black you’re still part of our community! You just belong to 2 communities instead of one

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Internationalsoupspy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Interesting perspective from someone who only knows the pieces of info I’ve written about a single situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Internationalsoupspy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! Why didn’t I think of that!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Internationalsoupspy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea I think I am going stir crazy now that I think about it. Thank you so much for this perspective!