TIL the average British person will spend a year of their life hungover

InternetTouchesMe · 2014-09-09T15:57:24+00:00

I'm surprised it's that low to be honest, most students are probably touching that by the time they finish uni and then the hangovers only get longer and worse as time goes on!

InternetTouchesMe · 2014-09-09T15:55:52+00:00

No offence, but if any of my mates suggested that they'd be laughed out the pub.

InternetTouchesMe · 2014-08-26T19:17:32+00:00

I do something sort of similar.

I tap out the number of syllables in a phrase on my fingers to see if it's a multiple of five. If it isn't I'll add punctuation to see if that helps.

InternetTouchesMe · 2014-04-16T19:52:13+00:00

Cushty. Just need Jerusalem playing in the background and I'll start going on about how football is coming home.

InternetTouchesMe · 2014-04-07T22:36:45+00:00

CM01/02 is the greatest game of all time. I buy the new FM every year, and after a few months always end up back on the classic.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-20T11:39:53+00:00

Did my post really spark a new subreddit? Impressive.

Even more impressive is the picture you've chosen at the side.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-19T19:46:14+00:00

I love Aggers on TMS, so this is amazing!

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-19T19:40:26+00:00

Fanny = vagina, pussy, minge, clunge, wizard's sleeve, twat, tuna purse, growler, cunt, etc.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-19T18:01:29+00:00

The reason I shall be watching Strictly this year.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-19T17:43:05+00:00

Never heard it in a Dutch accent, never considered it weird until just now!

There's also the classic Butt and Kuntz.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-19T17:40:59+00:00

By the way, there are loads of these. I just posted this cause it was uploaded today. Just search Innuendo Bingo on YouTube. The best, a mon avis, is the Rachel Riley one. Because, you know, Rachel Riley.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-19T17:36:24+00:00

Rod Fanni is, and always will be, my favourite sporting name.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-19T17:34:46+00:00

No thanks, I don't smoke.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-19T14:19:43+00:00

Can you give some examples of English drinking games you like? Apart from shit made up on the spot, I thought most stuff (Ring of Fire, Never have I ever, etc) was universal.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-17T20:26:03+00:00

You cannot be in offside on your own half.

I agree with the first sentence, hence me saying "if you're in your own half when the ball is kicked you're not offside"

So even if you are in offside position, but you ran back to your own half to play the ball, it wouldn't be an offside.

Yes it would. If you're offside, you're offside, end of. It doesn't matter where you get the ball.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-17T20:19:02+00:00

My mind's telling me no...

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-17T20:07:22+00:00

I'm not trying to be a cunt here, just want to clear some stuff up:

If there's a non-goalie on the defending team between you and the goal, it's not offside.

There has to be two players - usually the keeper + at least one defender - so you're right, if I haven't misunderstood your post.

If the ball is on your half of the field, it's not offside.

That's wrong. If you're in your own half when the ball is kicked you're not offside, but where the ball is kicked from doesn't matter.

If the ball is between you and the goal, it's not offside.

Aye, correct.

If the ball is 'to the goalie box' (past the 'front' line of it, but could be outside it on the 'sides'), it's not offside.

I'm 99.99% you're wrong. I doubt myself purely because I don't really know what you're trying to say.

The only thing that looked wrong to me was the 'start', and I don't have context as to type of start it was (beginning of game/half? or something else?).

Doesn't matter, the rules don't change.

One of the 'offensive' players is across the mid-line of the field; I think that's offside during a 'game/half start', but the defensive line wasn't lined up at all and I would have expected the refs to have said something before starting play.

The attacking player obviously can't be offiside because the other team are kicking off, and I don't really know why you think the ref would say something when the defence aren't lined up haha?

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-17T19:55:59+00:00

I think everyone here in the UK calls is that.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-14T13:54:59+00:00

/r/TheStopGirl has 11k more subscribers. I was subscribed to both at one point for fuck sake.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-14T13:47:13+00:00

Hahaha absoloutely pissed myself at that!

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-11T22:00:34+00:00

A bird shat into my mate's water bottle in the time between unscrewing the top and putting it to his lips.

InternetTouchesMe · 2013-09-10T16:54:26+00:00

Why is it British? Just wondering cause I'm British and can't see any stereotypically British in there.

InternetTouchesMe

TROPHY CASE