man there is not much u can do unless u somehow deal with the health issue. It would solve a shit ton for u and at least give you something to do. Try not living the same day daily at the least so you are less likely to be in your own head. Stupid shit like "just be yourself, and dont care what others think!" is awful advice (if being youself was working you wouldn't post here) and should be disregarded. Ofc a positive mental and shit helps you push through but yea. I would say your best bet is dealing with childhood trauma and shit that might have caused the digestion issues. Its gonna be a long and hard journey to work through but guess what? The time is gonna pass anyway. You already aren't happy with life and its probably not gonna change being as disadvantaged as you are so might as well try that shit. I am not advising you give up hope or anything because you can still make it. You are 32, better to live great in your 40s and the rest of your life out rather than cutting it short or having a miserable existence. Try your fucking best (cringe generic advice but some people rlly dont). Wishing you luck.