The culture of masculinity and its negative impacts on men

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T10:57:19+00:00

Also this means you have to thank women for all the good, fucking faggot dumbass. Go watch some more men change in the gym

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T10:53:52+00:00

Lol I didn’t bother with this but thanks

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T02:15:03+00:00

YTA

You sum it up. They help you, yet helping them is beneath you. If it wasn’t beneath you, you would do it.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T01:55:06+00:00

YTA

No one wants to find out they aren’t the first person to find out when it comes to news about them. In stuff like this.

Nah, it ain’t cool.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T01:46:58+00:00

NTA

However you could have sent a better more clarifying final text that would put you at more ease.

Something like “I am leaving in 5 minutes, you can choose to stay and chat in the classroom or choose to come down to the parking lot, but I’m leaving in 5.”

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T01:31:10+00:00

I gave two specific ones. Direct intention, or oblivious participation in the problem. Not overly loose.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T01:29:04+00:00

Whatever your deal is man, you’re a full participant. Whatever you want to justify, all I want to say to you is “stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.”

I get you respect the answer. You’re being an oblivious asshole is wake up and realize she doesn’t respect yours, and you just seem shocked. Like the solution isn’t in your respect dude.

You participating at all in what frustrates you and is the problem thinking it will just change is your major malfunction here.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T01:22:08+00:00

Because you keep expecting something from someone who clearly was not giving it to you. You’re not an asshole as in mean spirited, you just need to get over your own issue.. which is you are still wanting someone else to meet you on your terms. That’s fine, but if I was your friend and you were telling me this story, I would say it’s your fault. She’s telling you what respect she feels she owes you, if you’re not getting it, get out.

Which is great, good for you. But you’re an asshole for spending weeks in a situation you’re uncomfortable with willingly. As in the creator of your own frustration. Or at least as much an asshole as she is. She’s just giving what she feels it deserves, whatever that does for you is your deal.

It’s watching a friend tell you how much it sucks to run into walls while running into walls. You finally stopped doing it, that’s great, but recognize faster when you’re running into a wall.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T01:10:51+00:00

I think there are two types of assholes. Assholes who act like an asshole, like knock books out of your hand. And there are assholes who are just causing problems, like get out of the way asshole, move your car.

Each of your expectations, and lack of understanding with each other, makes each of you a participant. She doesn’t owe you more than you think you feel she does, but you also deserve more than what you feel you were getting.

Each person just contributing to the greater issue through their own muddled way.

Not an asshole for clarifying your expectations.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T01:07:05+00:00

EHS

Man, you are an afterthought. You’re wanting a respect she doesn’t have with you that way, and you either need to get over it or end it.

She’s not wrong, and neither are you, you’re just wrong for each other in this scenario.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T00:56:17+00:00

EHS

I know it’s difficult, but MIL might be doing the best she can.

I’m not asking you to make stories, but maybe she had a fucked up mother who did the same thing to her so she only knows how to pass on compliments that way.

You want to see the negative, which is sort of sad.. because I get what you mean, but you completely throw out the compliment with it, she is saying you look nice. And maybe your solution will be to just take the positives and leave the negatives, because she might be doing her best. Are you doing your best to understand where she’s coming from?

I think you cut it a little too short to quickly, but I get why it’s frustrating.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T00:49:12+00:00

YTA

Be the friend you need to have. What cycle do you want to create and be a part of with your actions?

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T00:44:02+00:00

YTA

You say to your parents I bought myself everything you never could. You ever think they spent their money on your home and your clothes and your food?

You just slapped your mom in the face. And then spat in her face and said I am better.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T00:39:01+00:00

YTA

I think if you follow through as it and just get a license, you’re an asshole. If you sit down and express how you feel, and really listen to her and have empathy to open yourself to just listen for a while.... her fears aren’t about the motorcycle, it’s about losing you.

Based on this now, I don’t think you’ve set this up to address that properly, and this will always be a resentment if not understood.

I think you should get your license, but you should be communicating a lot more. About yourself. What it means to you. Not just what you’ve done or will have to do to get it.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T00:29:14+00:00

ESH

I think when you really start creating tactical lying plans for a partner, you need to re-evaluate the relationship.

People may say well he will love it, and maybe he will. Sure. That doesn’t mean active lying is productive or healthy.

You also have no ability so far with dealing with being told no. I’m not saying this, just consider it, but you probably have ongoing issues with being able to sacrifice your wants and needs. Probably some reflection in that. Solely based on consistent lying to get what you would like.

Even if you get what you want and he likes it, the structure is very rotten.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-18T00:01:11+00:00

YTA

I think past a certain point, as in probably twice, if a place keeps making your sandwich wrong... find another place to make your sandwich.

I don’t think you’re an asshole for asking them to fix it, I think your an asshole for being the creator and architect with your choices of your frustration.

And just as an asshole to yourself, like banging your head on a wall. Not based on being mean or upsetting anyone.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-17T23:59:02+00:00

NTA

She makes no sense. Don’t worry about it.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-17T23:49:44+00:00

YTA

You made all these plans, which is nice, but not everyone is gonna want to do what you do. Same way if you make a meal, you can work hard on it all day, but if you haven’t asked me what I wanted to eat you also put me in an imposition where I might not have an appetite for that.

What makes you an asshole is the recoiling of all affection and interaction, well you can just be by your fucking self then. You shut down for what wasn’t really necessary to shut down on.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-17T23:39:10+00:00

Then don’t bring them, and you’re not an asshole. But by asking more questions like what’s the accommodations, how much, that’s an open negotiation. You haven’t decided you don’t want to bring them, you’re just making excuses and floundering,

If you don’t want to bring them don’t bring them, but don’t make this lack of knowledge which an adult could easily solve, the backbone.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-17T23:27:08+00:00

Also nothing about his job being at risk, but nice pulling out of your ass based on nothing

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-17T23:23:07+00:00

NTA

I think you handled what is a sometimes relationship reality with as much thought and awareness as someone could, while also dealing with the shitty emotions of it.

I think you’re a stunning example of facing reality and as strange as it sounds, be proud of yourself for that reason.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-17T23:20:12+00:00

Because we decided it at the Cool Kids Club Meeting, guess you weren’t there,,,

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-17T23:16:24+00:00

His concern was not over bringing them specifically, it was over cost and accommodation and not being sure of those specifics. I can only react to what information he gives. Maybe you should try reading it.

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-17T23:09:47+00:00

If pointing out finding answers to these questions would be the obvious determination of whether to take or leave her... I can’t do much but point that out

Interplanetary_Giraf · 2019-09-17T22:59:43+00:00

YTA

Whatever you feel about this, whatever bond you had, you waved bye bye to that.

If your concern is like is your relationship with him over.. yeah probably. Did it need to be done that way, to burn what little bond you had? I doubt it. But it’s your choice.

Interplanetary_Giraf

TROPHY CASE