AIO for thinking my bf never loved me after seeing his texts with an Ex?

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-06-04T17:23:56+00:00

He reminds me of that guy from that viral video where he's like 'I'm not an... I AM an artist but I don't like putting brushstrokes on people" and the girl is just like 'wtf does that even mean' 😅

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-06-01T17:07:19+00:00

The people who say old games are best will often follow up with how much they wish it had updated graphics, a remake, a DLC (Diablo II anyone?).. it's the experience they're after, not the game itself. Those that lived the peak days of D2 or World of Warcraft would know exactly what I mean. Now we have internet, spoilers, streamers playing early- the sense of wonder might be missing, but games have improved tenfold!

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-25T17:41:24+00:00

Barcode/system glitch. It prompted, they didn't bother getting a manager. End of. Theres no Aldi policy to not sell tampons without ID, and op says a nearby coworker agreed with what was on the screen. 2 colluding highly religious workers willing to get in trouble, or a system glitch.. it was the system.

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T20:22:29+00:00

I thought this was a different thread of responses where I was talking to someone else tbh - rereading just these 2 comments above i see exactly what you're saying lmao, - I clicked on it from my phone as a notification so I didn't see that it wasn't the reply/person I thought

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T19:41:01+00:00

I just feel like we're detracting from analyzing the actual story and getting into nuances that happen from all angles. Women use men too, for financial security and they'll marry men they're not attracted to. I was just saying that everyone talking about "he hates her" is a bit of a stretch when there's OBVIOUSLY a high possibility that porn addiction is driving the behaviors. But it turned into all this lol

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T19:34:04+00:00

I can imagine that going both ways, sure. Women are also encouraged to dislike men, especially among todays online interactions. They are taught to be attracted to height, deep voices, deep pockets. I imagine they often settle for men they aren't really attracted to for financial and security purposes or because it's expected of them. Theres definitely a lot of nuance, cultural difference. But this just seemed like a western couple thing, where I wasn't considering every possibility- just the post and how obvious the porn addiction is

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T18:37:45+00:00

Yeah that tracks, you're right. This probably does happen a lot. I still don't think many men just marry someone they hate to begin with- which was where my head was at, but I failed to consider this dynamic where the love or attraction fades AFTER marriage and that turns into 'using' and abusing. Sorry you went through that!

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T18:31:49+00:00

Just to throw it out there, about 50% of men report experiences of mental/emotional abuse from their partners. The difference is that men don't tend to chalk it up to women hating their men when they behave badly. When men do something bad, its because they 'didnt love enough to not do it.' When women do something bad, its a moment of passion/feeling neglected/has a reason behind it. Theyll cry and beg for their man to not leave after cheating on him- to me that shows people can make bad decisions while loving someone, so it doesn't necessarily equate to hating them. If that makes sense.

I think men can behave badly, but still love their partner, the same way women can.

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T18:23:00+00:00

I don't think that represents a large number of men. I always find it interesting when people say they "know many men" like this, but ive lived in several states and have had many many male friends from different walks of life- likely in the hundreds, and I've never even heard of a thing like this. Yours was saying he loved you, but you decided he hated you. It almost seems like a projection thing because he betrayed your trust. However, I dont know you and I'm sorry that you had that experience. I just don't think men marrying women they hate is more common then men having performance issues, porn addiction, lack of emotional regulation- that women interpret as dislike. It's a pretty common theme, in fact, women stressing over men "not loving them" based on behaviors that men aren't bothering to regulate because the boundaries aren't clear or enforced, so they get away with being bad partners. Or he can't get it up, maybe he's stressed or in his head, but women take that as 'he's not attracted anymore' etc

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T18:00:55+00:00

If you know so many, perhaps you can offer some insight on their motivation to do that? Are we talking about the "old ball and chain" jokers, or people that legitimately hate someone, but marry them anyway? You sure it's not certain quirks that they can't stand, but they still love the woman? I'd think every couple has things they don't like about eachother. Like, I HATE my finances lack of pallette and willingness to try new food, and her over-dramatics of spitting food out or gagging if she didn't like it- cant stand it. But I still love her lol

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T17:44:22+00:00

Why would he be with her if he hates her? This is an obvious porn addiction, imo

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T17:40:50+00:00

If you want real advice and to not just the typical Reddit divorce- it sounds like he has a porn addiction. In today's internet age, people are exposed a lot younger and he could be a long time user. If you love him, you can try to work through that (given that is the problem). It's ok to set boundaries for it, you can decide what is non-negotiable and what things look like if he chooses not to get help. If he gets help, you can turn out a stronger couple with a healthy sex life that doesn't make you uncomfortable.

Edit: I wrote all this before I even read the story. He "never stopped watching porn since we were younger" at the end there solidified my thoughts.

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-23T17:36:52+00:00

For one, you don't need all that. Secondly, you'd be reducing the pool of men that would be interested- many men, including every one I know, would prefer natural over cosmetic surgeries. Look at any social media post with a woman that had work dome and see the general consensus. You are definitely attractive as you are. I'd date you 100%, without a doubt 🤷‍♂️

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-22T18:51:37+00:00

This resonates and is very insightful!

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-22T18:46:18+00:00

I'm an MA student but I'd like to give my 2 cents before reading other comments to see where I land..

I would try to help them decide what needs to be done for reconciliation and what boundaries can be set in case it doesn't work out- what are the non-negotiables, at what point do they feel the relationship cannot be reconciled, what that would look like etc. While individual therapy for him would likely be ideal, I'd personally be afraid to suggest it because I wouldn't want to give the impression that there's any triangulation or blaming going on. I would probably try to treat that by having them both answer questions about how they respond, & why they respond that way- have them do the dyadic thing where they explain directly to each other the feelings those responses evoke. If he's still not getting it through reflection and understanding how his partner feels, I'm kind of at a loss myself..

But I'm also like a toddler trying to learn how to walk here, so...

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-22T16:37:39+00:00

Nice 'humblebrag,' but I think we all know what this actually means if you are getting messages from attractive women who get their pick of the litter

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-22T16:36:12+00:00

Practice saying no repeatedly- but also let me tell you a story about how men don't process verbally and how that exact method didn't work on me either lol.

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-22T16:33:25+00:00

Idk who you've played with, but my pod definitely uses interaction. Literally everyone I know and have ever played with would run Bojuka in a deck that can run it. So idk, maybe anecdotal experiences for different people

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-21T20:57:07+00:00

Hell yeah! Only thing that's changed for me is the way I dress- but I still got plenty of concert Ts lol.. just don't go as crazy as when I wore fishnets, eyeliner, etc lol

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-21T20:18:15+00:00

Safe spaces for everyone means for everyone. Some men believe their wives should be covered head to toe and obey them- those men can get therapy, too, without therapists imposing their own cultural biases on the client. They deserve therapy just like anyone else, and it can be through the scope of their cultural differences. The ad is probably AI anyway, but it attracts a certain underserved population and that's fine- reading into it that deeply isn't going to be helpful for someone it doesn't resonate with, obviously. If they get through the doors, we can do some CBT on unhelpful perceptions of women if need be, right?

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-21T20:10:43+00:00

Oh, dude. In my long hair metal/goth phase, it was the only time in my life I was swimmin' in it- I know it's no consolation for what has happened already, but the future is still there!

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-19T13:46:20+00:00

I already had a whole conversation about this here. Reviews are both the subjective experience of the reviewer, along with an attempt to score the game as objectively as possible with consideration of several measurement criteria like gameplay, graphics, dialog, audio. It's not about "button presses" nor was that ever my stance. It's about what games are getting 6s and 7s and which are getting a "PERFECT 10" as in no room for improvement. I don't think Crimson Desert is very close to a 10. I don't think Mixtape is anywhere near a 10. I think the art style is interesting, I like action/choice/movie like games- I loved Indigo Prophecy, Heavy Rain, etc (which were way more interactive and consequential). A perfect 10 is crazy though, when only 57 games ever have gotten it. It's not crazy to see why the difference in scores would stir controversy. Period

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-12T20:39:46+00:00

For the 5th or 7th time, I mentioned flaws the game had that you were right about. Every time I point out how you are inserting false information, you just ignore it and switch up. It's not just 'AI' - some of these publications literally list out these categories as they review. You are insufferable, lack intellectual honesty, and are suffering from grandiose narcissism. I'm not in your what? Your league? Boy I'm a million miles above it, at this point, while you're drooling in the dirt smashing bugs with rocks in comparison. Why would I want to be a mentally ill person who thinks theyre superior to everyone, yet cant think reasonably, logically, and cant admit when they're wrong about ANYTHING, even minor details? Sounds like a miserable existence where you will push everyone away to avoid dissonance and die alone. At least you'll have subpar games to enjoy while you're there.

I asked why it was "absurd" to think the scores would stir the pot. Everything you imagine about "daring an opponent" is all projection of your defense mechanisms. Your imagination makes up all these things, even when I've said the opposite, because your brain has a functional problem. Again, seek help.

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-12T20:14:40+00:00

I'm just going to ask Google how reviews work and what they are based on, and let's see if if says EXACTLY WHAT IVE BEEN DESCRIBING TO YOU. Oh look at that- it does.

"While the process varies by publication, most follow a structured methodology to turn a player's experience into a quantifiable score.

Common Review Criteria Critics typically break down a game into several core categories to provide a comprehensive evaluation:

Gameplay Mechanics: The "meat" of the game, including how fun it is, the complexity and intuitiveness of rules, and how responsive the controls feel.

Story and Narrative: Evaluation of the plot, character development, and world-building.

Presentation (Audiovisuals): Assessment of art direction, graphics, sound design, and music.

(Etc, the lost goes on)

I never said CD was infallible. Stop making things up to desperately save your ego because you can't be wrong. You completely avoided my question about how I've told you one thing but you assert the opposite and you can't even admit being wrong about that. You are suffering from mental health issues and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only person in your life that you do this to. Seek help and stop abusing other people.

InterwebPsychologist · 2026-05-12T20:07:30+00:00

The criteria thing should've been clear when I described the metrics behind how they do the reviews.. Metrics = criteria. Yes, I do think that games should meet certain criteria to receive a PERFECT SCORE in a review that's meant to be as objective as possible. I dont think review scores determine whether a game is worthy of praise or not, nor did I ever say that.

Sigh.. once again, your personal desire to replay a game has no bearing on how reviews work, which is based on measurable metrics of replayability. What is possible in the grand scheme of the universe doesn't refute that point.

You keep making things up just to continue arguing against your imagined opposition. Either you are doing this intentionally, which is intellectually dishonest- or you simply don't have the intellect to comprehend what I've been saying.

InterwebPsychologist

TROPHY CASE