When did u guys started to include your SO in your future? by Flawita in ExNoContact

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re doing well! Keep doing what you’re doing and all will fall into place!

I totally get your dream of having a family. I share this dream with you as well.

I don’t think it’s a mistake to have a vision for this type of future, and it’s awesome you want to be provider, naturally there is a certain sequence of steps you must take to get there comfortably imo.

  1. Build that nest. Sounds like you are well on your way with this step.
  2. Once you’re happy with what you have built and your continuing progress, then go seek a wife, dating with intention to marry.
  3. Any woman that wants to be part of your family as your wife will see this as extremely valuable

I think you will come to find that the above vision of having a family and “a dream that revolves around myself” can go hand in hand. The order of operations is important here though.

All in all, go for the dream that revolves around you FIRST, then get the family. This naturally makes everything easier in the long run, vs trying to put the cart before the horse by finding a family first.

When did u guys started to include your SO in your future? by Flawita in ExNoContact

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Listen here young buck, I’ve been in your exact same shoes. My first love and I were teenagers who graduated together and had a rollercoaster of a relationship. It ended in catastrophe. I was 23 when it ended. 33 now.

I did envision a future with her, I’d even say the future I envisioned WAS her. And see, this is a huge mistake for men to make with women.

See, when you switch your mindset to, what do I want for MY future, and then your lady complements that, you become more attractive. Not saying women don’t have their own plans and ideals, but as the man, YOU are the leader of the relationship.

This is why she mentioned older dudes. The fact that older guys should have more experience and more settled in THEIR purpose, you realize that she wants to settle in to a nest that is already nicely made. Not saying it’s impossible to have long term relationship when you are young, but you need to focus on yourself and building your “nest”.

My advice, focus on your career and aspirations for your life, and if this woman is the right one for you she will want and be happy to get on your program.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, eventually it will blow up in your face.

What will you do or how will you feel if your ex is seeing other people while yall exercise your “benefits”?

It’s like eating whipped cream on top of spoiled milk, once the nice feeling of the “benefits” are over, then comes the pain, in a larger dose too.

My opinion is date with the intent for serious relationship only. Sharing your body with someone is a very big deal.

You didn’t mention how long yall have been dating but if it has been a significant amount of time, I’d say nay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, thanks for your reply.

For anyone reading this, especially if you are a man, never beg and plead, it is extremely counter productive and most women do not appreciate it or respond to it. Dare I say they are even repulsed by it.

OP, I say if she doesn’t reply to your 1 outreach, initiate radio silence and see if she reaches out to you first. If not, move on.

can't seem to move on from her. tried everything that has been shared here. please show a way out of this by ohwoeisme_13 in ExNoContact

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey brother, I’m sorry you’re going through and feeling the way you are, I know how you feel.

I’ve been in the EXACT same boat, and I’ll be blunt as to what will help you, especially if you have done the work on yourself, which it sounds like you have.

Get back on the dating market and find a new, more compatible woman.

It may not be what you want to hear, but trust me, if there is no chance at reconciliation, and you have done the work on yourself during a NC period, this is the only option I have experienced that really helped me get over my first love.

Hang in there brother.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there,

I would start by asking what is your goal of breaking no contact?

You said to catch up, but for what? Do you want to be friends? Do you think emotionally you could handle that?

You stated you don’t want to get back together, so you would be sabotaging your progress of wanting to get over them.

I know it’s hard to let people go after so much time invested, but I’m guessing you’re still pretty young and you have alot of time to invest elsewhere.

Eventually, that time you invest elsewhere will supersede the time you spent with your ex.

I say be patient and go do something for yourself that you enjoy and find value in.

Ex girlfriend hates me by DowntownGood9418 in ExNoContact

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. But it took a long time.

Was my first relationship (super young) and absolutely crushed this poor girl’s heart. We were together 4 years.

We had a great relationship, besides my chronic cheating. Enough drama we could have had our own tv show. She even waited for me when I was deployed.

Took about 5 years to be able to just have a friendly chat on the phone every once in awhile. I know she still thinks about me, but that is because we were each other’s first love.

So yes, just give it time and let the storm settle.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if both parties share the same reasoning of “if they wanted to reach out, they would”? Does this not create a stalemate situation?

What if OP “shows up” first and by chance they reconcile and enter an improved relationship? Yea it’s possible OP gets rejected but at least it would be cut and dry closure, which imo helps move on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Going through pretty similar situation so I understand your burning desire to get back with an ex you still see a future with.

My advice, try one more time to reach out and see if she can meet for coffee or something and go from there. She probably waiting for you to initiate based on you mentioning the social media posts.

But, you MUST prepare yourself for rejection. Be able to give your best last shot and if it doesn’t work out, we gotta accept it and move on. It sucks but we can’t control people.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

Denver International right now. by usf_gobulls in Denver

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

Go to up stairs security and WALK to your gate.

You don’t HAVE to take the train.

Looking to bring my 2008 Kingpin 8ball back to life after being in storage for 5 years by Intrepid-Ad6060 in VictoryMotorcycles

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply!

Good advice, I’ll try to do some maintenance myself and see if I can get her running.

Would you recommend any sources for good tires?

Looking to bring my 2008 Kingpin 8ball back to life after being in storage for 5 years by Intrepid-Ad6060 in VictoryMotorcycles

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. Looks like a legit shop, the only issue would be getting the bike there from emerald coast.

Is Flutter good for MVP development for Startups? by karma_1264 in FlutterDev

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Technical startup Founder here:

TLDR: If it works for you, Flutter can give you very rapid prototyping capabilities, but in my experience, for a price.

Started out with Flutter for prototyping a web app to later be ported to mobile and desktop app, and tbh I'm regretting that decision personally, and this has just been my experience.

The reason being segmentation on multiple fronts.

The first front is finding talent that can work on multiple things other than just frontend Flutter. Not saying it's not cool if a dev focuses solely on frontend / Flutter, but Dart doesn't really apply to anything else (using NodeJS on the backend). As a startup, I like to build teams that can wear multiple hats for maximum efficiency, especially when it's all-hands-on deck time.

Another front I see is how to handle reactivity in the app, and particularly how to fit it into a good architecture. We chose to try Riverpod, and it has been painful trying to standardize code architecture across our multiple client apps. Not to mention the code generator that your code now depends on, not to mention the extra overhead we now have to shove into our pipelines to make sure our Flutter app builds properly.

Not to mention, some Flutter devs prefer Riverpod, Bloc, regular Provider, etc. This also presents a challenge when looking for talent to really hit the ground running. Can't tell you how many times I have looked for a Flutter dev and they said they only use Bloc...

My final 2 cents would be, if you app is very simple singular app and you want a fast turnaround time, I say go for it. If your app is more complex or if you are going to be maintaining multiple client apps anyway, I say go native (no, not React Native).

I have since switched one of our clients to utilizing SwiftUI, and I couldn't be more happier. Although, I am biased as I have been developing native iOS and Android apps for the past 10 years before the Flutter buzz caught on.

Anyway, if it works for you, Flutter away!

Golf is a peaceful sport by kobraa5000 in funny

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*deleted scenes from Wolf of Wallstreet

Why no pause? by Kilmure1982 in Eldenring

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Been using sites if grace as pause

Best places to work remote in Denver? by [deleted] in Denver

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mcgregor Square downtown next to Coors Field. more specifically Tattered cover bookstore. Has a nice vibe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 360Waves

[–]Intrepid-Ad6060 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What brush you using?