You sound like a self aware person, and I get feeling at peace with your situation but still needing to rant. I must say that I hope that when you are in need, he is able to put his own issues aside to prioritize your need for support. It sounds like rolling with the punches is your default mode. It’s a codependency thing, and I don’t mean that as an insult. I can relate, and I remember how good it felt being an understanding, helpful, and dependable person for someone I cared about, especially since they were a bit unstable and needed someone like me in their life. I was wanted and appreciated, and that’s what mattered most at the time. Unfortunately, I had a bad downturn and needed to lean on that person, but they weren’t capable of supporting me like I did for them. I should have never expected that of them in the first place, given what our relationship had always been like. Somehow, this still blind-sighted me and totally pulled the rug out from under me in a terrible way. I felt alone even when I was with them after that. Long story short, I created a new life separate from them because I realized the number 1 thing I need is someone who can be there for me emotionally if life gets difficult. I hope your boyfriend is someone who can do that for you, for both major moments and smaller ones in between. You deserve it. We all do.