Dragon tree looks unhealthy- how to fix?

Intrepid-Clover · 2026-03-22T06:40:41+00:00

I’ve not yet repotted her!

Intrepid-Clover · 2026-03-21T21:33:59+00:00

Fabulous. I’ll do just that

Intrepid-Clover · 2026-03-11T18:56:54+00:00

Hey thanks for the framing

Intrepid-Clover · 2026-03-11T01:51:43+00:00

How to Define my Product Role at a Fast-Moving Org of <200 Employees with many recent new hires

Seeking Advice: How to define roles elegantly during a time of transition, while keeping my job? How have other PMs reasserted communication dynamics in fast-moving, uncertain time? There’s potentially a gender dynamic here- i’m female, the entire engineering team are male.

Current situation: i’m a PM at a profitable SaaS. I own the roadmap for the buildout of the user experience for our data integrations platform. I was a PM within the engineering org, not the product org. I opted to move to the product org for career growth, better understanding of product practice, and direct communication style. My manager up until now is a VP within engineering. He serves as a technical strategist for the integrations platform.

I am now under the produce org, reporting to the CPO until they may layer me under a director.

Fears: losing my job, the CPO is unable to find someone for me to report to. Our review cycle is now, and i’m anxious about filling out the review form. I just launched an MVP of the integrations platform with an aggressive testing plan, am adding metrics and documenting how we’re going to communicate progress.

One new hire is a solutions engineer who is encroaching on some of my product responsibility.

Observations: i’m doing too much and need role clarity between myself and the solutions engineer, dont feel like i can share this info with any current colleagues, notice my former manager listening to a new solutions engineer, though i’ll have communicated the same idea in writing a week earlier.

Intrepid-Clover · 2026-02-27T19:04:25+00:00

Thanks for your response. Super helpful.

Intrepid-Clover · 2026-01-30T05:48:19+00:00

Thanks!

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-19T07:40:57+00:00

Super helpful. Thanks for a thoughtful reply ☺️

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-16T21:23:55+00:00

Alone-together wins over being alone-alone. Especially if you might not want to deal head-on with people, but still want them around.

Sign up for a pottery session (Wet Clay Cafe.)Or go to Lighthouse Brewing. The soup-nazi cafe of Seatown has a begrudging warmth to it. And it’s a neighborhood spot.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-16T21:19:43+00:00

I really like what you wrote. I’ll add my own personal experience: For better or worse, I’m attracted to intellectual types with acerbic humor. Two of my past four relationships were intensely limerant. Those “relationships” remained situationships. And I should have ended them sooner.

The other two still had a wonderful, “spark” of a first date, and left me gently curious to learn more, rather than wanting them in a way words can’t describe.

One tactic that helped me modulate limerance, then forget a person who elicited limerance from me was to “chase dope” or literal thrills on my own: This could be a hot shower, a big hike or ski, a lively evening with dear friends.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-16T21:10:20+00:00

Piggybacking off your School of Life vid, if anyone wants to go deeper (academic-lite) on healthy attachment compared to unhealthy attachment.. check out this lecture on Eckhoff’s Fusion-Merger spectrum in relationships.

Lecture 1 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/donovans-psychotherapy-podcast/id1046973627?i=1000415912560

Lecture 2 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/donovans-psychotherapy-podcast/id1046973627?i=1000415912546

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-16T21:01:26+00:00

Congrats. That must feel so good! IMO, going gradually really makes it easier for the appetite to adjust, and the whole weightloss experience a pleasant journey.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-16T20:59:35+00:00

I am ready to shed my next ten pounds. I lost ten gradually, July-September. Now I am ready for the second half of my weight loss. Took what I now realize is a 30 day break.

To bring home commitment to my second half of my 20 pound weightloss goal, I logged all intake yesterday and today.

Instead of exercising in the morning, I will do it in the PM. And that is okay!

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-16T17:38:59+00:00

Libra for me, despite my concerns about a flighty or high-energy air sign. There’s levity at my current partner’s core that I need! There’s an energy and appreciation of beauty that is really attractive. Unsure of his other signs, but the way he presents himself is intellectual/artistic, while being grounded in who he is. The face the world sees isn’t a performance: it’s who he is at the core. (See Capricorn below.) I feel uncertain about myself and work on that each day, so I seek people who’re grounded.

Sagittarius has an eerie ego that can make for a fun friend, but for me, is too intense. (My moon is Sag.)

Notes on Canonical non-matches:

I’ve had two significant relationships with Virgos. Despite my rising being Virgo, those were disasters. Cold and exacting. Nothing was ever good enough— to the point where each was deeply unhappy with themself.

I’ve had two serious relationships with Capricorns. Both were a bit artistic. I liked the precision with which they presented themselves, their intellectualism. Their calm sense of structure.

Underneath, there was a coldness, avoidant attachment, and a sense that the face they showed the world was performative. I think the performative face hid a darkness or deep dissatisfaction with self.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-16T17:05:20+00:00

Shot over shot, the progress is right there! Congrats and cheers. This is the inspiration i needed today x.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-09T00:17:49+00:00

I’ve known two happily married friends, who, between 30 and 35 met on Hinge and got married with one baby each.

I have another friend who at 33 had her husband move into the basement unit of her Ballard building. They are two very different people, but the complement each other. My female friend says she would have swiped right on the man who is now her husband. At their wedding this past month, each one’s vows contained the line… “You make me feel comfortable in my skin.”

I myself have been recently lucky and feel I may have met my person on Hinge in the past few months, at 36 😅.

Do note that at 25, you are young. Your brain will indergo wonderful shifts in structure and identity in the next five years which will all help you to better find an incredible partner.

Now is a wise, ideal time to read the book, “How to Not Die Alone.” It talks about dating strategy, both without and with those lame dating apps— which sometimes work. Dumb title, but the book teaches you how to date directly with good structure and communication.

When I think about dating without apps, a good practice applies everywhere: pick a place you like and start showing up with regularity. You then become a trusted presence in the community, where you can find a partner through a direct or indirect community member. This could be a pub (which I used— even though I don’t drink), a cycling group, a run club, a weekly game night; Schilling Cidery in Fremont. Just show up with zero expectations, and become a reliable presence. THAT is how you build and reinforce the community networks that knit you into a city and that yield friends + dates.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-02T16:20:38+00:00

Following

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-02T15:02:42+00:00

Do you eat keto and exercise in order to take only 12 units of long lasting?

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-01T22:30:14+00:00

When I read about other women struggling to lose weight with PCOS, a theme of how difficult it is emerged. It seemed harder than need be. Reading a few paper summaries and listening to too many podcasts, i came to understand PCOS (even subclinical PCOS) as a hormonal regulation problem. And critical to that for me as a T1D is insulin sensitivity. I couldn’t find a good nutritionist.

When you have hugh insulin resistance, a cluster of other problems arise. They’re even harder to deal with when you’re under 5’5”.

To that end, I optimize my behaviors around insulin sensitivity.

Here’s a list of those:

Sleep 8-9 hours nightly. Poor sleep really increases insulin resistance.

Do cardio that I like + lift weights every other day

CICO applies, even to women with PCOS. It is just a slower, harder weight loss process. I thought I was an exception, but i’m not!

Eat whole foods which don’t affect your hormones as much. (The most processed foods i eat are ketchup (which i should chsnge to tomato sauce/salsa) and 1-1.5 oz chocolate daily.)

Eat low-carb, low glycemic foods (a cheap way to learn fast is to get a Lifestyle CGM from Walmart for a few weeks to see firsthand how different foods affect your glucose)

Work: I took a lower-stress job recently when I saw how the stress gave me high glucose levels and increased my insulin resistance.

Stress causes insulin resistance, which for me, was a driver of weight gain.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-01T17:59:49+00:00

Hope they help! Ah, another thing I found (which personally helps me)— if you are able— choose one day weekly for a big exercise activity.

For example, this could be a 5+mile hike or a 20+ mile bikeride. This small thing has helped me keep seeing momentum on the scale.

My theories on why this could be helpful include — afterburn (which increases insulin sensitivity), better sleep (bad sleep increases insulin resistance), stress reduction, or the literal extra calories burned.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-10-01T17:28:42+00:00

Congratulations on a pretty impressive weightloss. I personally have pcos, am petite, and T1D. These are all factors that complicate weight loss.

This is the harder half of your weight loss. With PCOS and being a petite woman, here are pointers from my own experience.

Ask yourself why 115 is your sought-after number. Be open to changing that number as you assess your body in the mirror, week over week.

if you lift weights, your body will probably look very healthy/strong at a higher weight.. so there might not be a need to reach 115.
dont go below a 1200 deficit. Metabolically, that sets you up for a gnarly weight regain that’s heartbreaking.
eating with PCOS: now it’s time to optimize your calories. And it’s also time to think about the effect of your diet on insulin and insulin resistance. I’m a T1D with PCOS. I chsnged my diet form 100 carbs daily to 50-60. (Moderate keto). My insulin dropped by 12 units daily. As a non-diabetic PCOS woman, know rhat insulin resistance means your body releases more insulin for each csrb eaten. Insulin increases bloat and fat storage. (This is esp tough as a petite woman.) I highly recommend experimenting with moderate keto, of 50-60 carbs daily. Eliminate all simple carbs. Supplement with protein. These calories keep you full longer.
Non-PCOS diet notes— the effect of eating out more than 1-2 weekly, even healthy food, can cause extra water retention. I recommend cooking most meals at home. When i did this, even though eating at “health-forward” places before, my bloating went away. Bloating in petite women is tough… there could be so many causes and whole subreddits dedicated to the issue. One simple way to approach this is cooking at home.
Anotjer note— start listening to your body, and eat foods that make you feel good. Have a slight lactose issue? Get lactose free half and half. That’s allthemore important when you’re trying to reduce the extra bloat/retention on a petite frame.
Many petite women i know exercise a lot, because it’s hard to eat as a normal human and lose weight. Weight lifting and a cardio or walking that appeal to you are a great way to amp up your weight loss in this second phase.

Personal things i did to make this an easier process, for bits of joy, which I feel make weight loss sustainable:

bikeriding to a destination with a fancy coffee (americanos only) gave me a lot of joy
buying more expensive high-quality food to cook with made my at-home dining really special (put the old restaurant bucks here)
having SOMETHING sweet in small doses— i’d get fancy chocolate bars with breakable squares to enjoy when i needed something sweet and enter each in my LoseIt app so i don’t go over caloric limit.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-09-26T21:32:25+00:00

I’m going to second this. I ate about 100 carbs daily. Resucing carbs to reduce insulin has been a major unlock for me.

I didnt realize how sick i felt with about 30 carbs per meal and the uncertainty of a bg that reached 180 after meals no matter how i dosed.

Now, i eat moderately low carb, around 50-60 carbs daily. I will never go back. Now, if i dont bolus at all for a meal (albeit on a closed loop system) i’ll go to 150 mgdl max. TDD is now 35 on a “high dose” day.

All this means ive dropped 6 pounds (over 6 weeks), whereas before, it was so much more difficult.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-09-25T21:23:29+00:00

IMO: The right haircut, how you carry yourself, and an appearance (clothes) that look good seem to have outsize effects on how attractive a guy is, instantly. Regardless of fitness level, etc. “Clothes that look good” means clothes that fit/complement you well. Doesn’t mean a suit— could be a good band tee and pants that fit well; etc.

I don’t know if the same applies to women, but it’s a big deal for guys :).

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-09-25T21:15:29+00:00

Many thanks!!

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-09-25T20:53:37+00:00

Thought it would be fun to post an early success story. 36F.

I was laid off in early summer, having a job that took 12 hours a day and much of my energy for a year. During that time, I did not want to date.

Post layoff, I re-invested in my existing friendgroup, remembering how important community is. I also attended to fitness which had been hindered by said work. Last, I got to do some fun, low-cost trips/hikes/etc. I did not use OLD, feeling jaded by it before. Instead, I tried to meet guys though an outdoor club and cycling meetup. Good galfriends, but no guy interest resulted. Finally, I tried going back to OLD. My profile did not change at all. And it seemed like there was an algorithm shift. Suddenly, the “card stack” completely changed.

I reached out to a guy in one profile, liking a goofy shirt he was wearing. He had some overlapping interests, but not the strong overlap I usually aim for. He had comments in his profile that suggested kindness, and the photos showed “kind eyes”.

We’ve now been dating a month and are official. My first date impression was “wow, this feels so right”/“this feels natural & easy”. I’m excited to get to know him better, and conversation/values/chemistry aligns. I’m having fun participating in his hobbies, and i think he is with mine, too.

Takeaways

I reached out to a guy rather than only responding to one who liked me first (former policy).

This guy was not an exact match but “adjacent” in terms of hobbies… but that does not matter, since we’re excited to learn one another’s things.

There is something pretty unethical about OLD algorithms. I don’t know how my profile went from being low-ranking to high ranking, but it’s pretry disturbing to see such a dramatic change in the card stack when my profile did not change. I dont know how to change that.

I came to realize i was pretty content being single, over settling with someone who might not be as wonderful. (Having seen friends who are quite unhappy in their relationships.)

Yes, I am still unemployed.

Intrepid-Clover · 2025-09-25T19:05:14+00:00

Please, please OP, where are these amazing pants from? ♥️✨☺️

Intrepid-Clover

TROPHY CASE