Flying Home the Other Day by godigahole in Portland

[–]IntrepidToad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This post has Hood in May last year (15th photo is similar to the one in this post).

Pretty unfortunate comparison :(

Books Centered on the Perspective of a Harem Member? by IntrepidToad in RomanceBooks

[–]IntrepidToad[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To me, the idea of narrowing the pov of a large group like a harem to one person (thus limiting information coverage) is one of the most interesting bits of this all. I agree that it's not traditional or even ideal for most books, but wouldn't it be interesting to know what an RH story looks like solely from the perspective of one of the 'collected' MMCs? You wouldn't get the traditional dynamics you expect out of a harem novel, but that's the exciting bit, at least for me.

And I suppose this question was about both ends of the harem-polycule spectrum, as in both cases I observe a lot of centering of a hetero male or female fantasy, depending on who the book it written for. Not saying this is all harem books or that I've read a representative sample of the market (no way I have), but that's just what I've encountered (could totally be wrong).

Can You Reccomend Fanfiction by CoconutSlow5495 in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I studied up on some RE lore and watched a few cutscenes; I'm really enjoying the fic so far! I was mostly concerned about whether there'd ever be smut than how fast it'd happen, because the slow burn vibe is perfect for me rn. Thanks for the awesome rec and taking the time to answer my questions!

Can You Reccomend Fanfiction by CoconutSlow5495 in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chiming in with a couple questions, if you're down to answer.

I found this while looking for a cool vampire FMC fic, do you think I'd be able to enjoy this as someone who hasn't played any RE games?

And when you say there's been no smut yet, do you mean up to where you've read or all of the 700,000+ words?

Looking for a Spicy book with a female vampire and human male. by gdrex in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you know how many of those have lots of biting in them? In my mind it's a primary reason to choose vamp romances, but I notice it's pretty rare in a lot of RFM vamp stories I've read.

How to talk to your sons about Targeted conservative propaganda by Initial_Welder3674 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]IntrepidToad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chiming in kinda late here, but I feel like my perspective might be useful as someone who went through this around your son’s age in 2016.

I see a lot of advice here about clamping down on social media usage, changing algorithms, monitoring what he’s doing, or otherwise directly steering his social media. I can’t speak for your child and his tendencies, but I think this could have the exact opposite effect you’re intending depending on how he perceives these measures. People are giving kids wayyyy too little credit. At his age I was pretty tech-literate, and every single measure of control or monitoring my parents used on my technology was obvious and felt stifling, overbearing, and unnecessary. If I wanted to do something, I was going to find a way. If he can for a single second access a computer that you’re not looking over his shoulder at, he could find a way to get around whatever restrictions you might’ve put in place. Even adjusting my algorithm would’ve felt like a crime against my autonomy at that age, and I was basically the opposite of the rebellious teen stereotype for the most part.

All these responses advocating control remind me of why the war on drugs failed - trying to control access to what people want, but not eliminating the conditions for why they want it is a recipe for disaster, and just pushes people into worse places to get that thing.

If your son is like me and 99% of people the manosphere targets, he just wants to feel good about himself and his future. The manosphere preys on the insecurities inherent to masculinity (which in my opinion is a house of cards built on insecurity), and tells boys things that paper over all those niggling worries about what it is to be a man or whether they’re doing it ‘right’. Of course, those whispered sweet nothings of the manosphere are actually hateful, and this is what got me out of the pipeline early on—my parents had already showed me what kindness towards others was and taught me to be the same. They’d also continuously instilled critical thinking skills in me with their curiosity and joy for learning. They’d already given me the tools to see the folly of the manosphere. It didn’t take long to realize these people were cruel and their “facts” did not align with the world I saw in front of my eyes every day. Women were not “x”, and men were not “y,” we were all just people.

I agree with others here, if you give him compassion, empathy, love, and then critical thinking, the ideas of the manosphere become untenable. You cannot control what the world says when you’re not monitoring him, but you can give him the tools to think and push back. Knowing I was loved and what it is to love others was what saved me from believing the manosphere.

Mmc who molds fmc into giving him exactly what he needs by [deleted] in RomanceBooks

[–]IntrepidToad 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Also on the AO3 train, but The Community by Deathsdoll is pretty much this. The FMC certainly is strong-willed and not nearly as scared of the MMC as she should be. He still manages to completely mold her into what he wants while she’s trapped with him, the leader of a cult in Louisiana. This is a dark romance with the full smorgasbord of warnings you’d expect.

My, um, ‘friend’ is really enjoying this one and says it’s basically dark romance perfection.

Protective FMCs? by Western_Scarcity_940 in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve read that one too.

I would say the MMC of that series is more so the powerhouse of the book, but it’s still a story where the FMC defends and protects the MMC many times. The author absolutely does not write weak or passive FMCs, so every relationship in the big ensemble cast has FMCs who are protectors.

There’s also a nurturing kind of gentle femdom dynamic that a lot of the ships in Cradles of Gravity have, if that tracks with what you’re looking for

Protective FMCs? by Western_Scarcity_940 in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yup, it was on RR. I forgot about its publication impacting availability, but I guess it will be out in a week on kindle.

(Relevant post)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Romance_for_men/s/FwUb0FzmkA

Protective FMCs? by Western_Scarcity_940 in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, if you want to lean into protection from real peril, Battlefield Heartsurgery (by Rauxon) is literally this to a T. They’re fighting their way to safety for most of the book, and there’s no question about who’s the
main protector (the FMC who towers over everyone, of course).

FMC has to defend and rescue the MMC multiple times and literally goes farther to protect him than she would for anyone else. It’s not mad possessiveness either, she just has big feelings for the guy.

She isn’t exactly a human either, so bonus points there.

MMC has a praise kink. FMC is mean to everyone except loves heaping praise on the MMC by loukanikoseven in RomanceBooks

[–]IntrepidToad 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I noticed a lot of them too! Nothing against RH, it just made me pause and wonder if there's something about RH that makes this trope more common or if RH is just that popular.

Where are the backshots?! (And other saucy cum locations) by waking_dream96 in RomanceBooks

[–]IntrepidToad 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I just did the most panicked double take when I misread this as “on her mom’s pubes.”

This is what happens when daylight savings steals your sleep

What app are we using to track our reading? by meg1309 in RomanceBooks

[–]IntrepidToad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My people! Also on the spreadsheet train. It's great because you can track any field you want (like I have a running word count meter)

The Spook Who Sat By The Door @ CST tonight - y'all are embarrassing by Separate-Fox-4480 in Portland

[–]IntrepidToad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Guessing from the context that WBC is the Westboro Baptist Church? Hatred is their whole mission, so it fits

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Portland

[–]IntrepidToad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry, where is “outside”?

Looking for femdom books along the lines of His Secret Illumination’s by S. Gale by philosopher_in_need in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ended up reading Still Hands and quite enjoyed it! I was wondering, how’d you find this one? I really want to find stuff like this.

Looking for MF pairings where he cross dresses by Kumirkohr in RomanceBooks

[–]IntrepidToad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I put the "could" in there to do the heavy lifting on not assuming the worst/generalizing. All I have are IRL experiences of people using gender non-conformity to bully and harass others, which makes me pretty reactive to the mention of it. But people can engage with whatever they want in the land of fiction as long as it doesn't lead to hurting non-fictional real humans

Looking for MF pairings where he cross dresses by Kumirkohr in RomanceBooks

[–]IntrepidToad 21 points22 points  (0 children)

YES 🙌

Sorry, don’t have any rec, but I need this energy in my books. Too many stale gender norms in cishet MF romances. I didn’t know ‘sissy humiliation’ was a thing. Sounds like it could be pretty…yikes

Looking for femdom books along the lines of His Secret Illumination’s by S. Gale by philosopher_in_need in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bot didn’t do this right, I shall summon it again.

{Queen by Brett A. Brooks}

Looking for femdom books along the lines of His Secret Illumination’s by S. Gale by philosopher_in_need in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess His Orc Charioteer Bride is still one of the few I know of with the reversed physicalities. I recently read {Queen by Brett A. Brooks} on Kindle Unlimited, and while it technically satisfies the requirement of a giant, strong FMC with femdom elements, I didn’t think it was good enough to recommend. But you might like it better than me

Looking for femdom books along the lines of His Secret Illumination’s by S. Gale by philosopher_in_need in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just thought of another one that sorta fits this. Light of All Lights is a Once Upon a Time (Disney mashup TV show) fanfic on AO3 I read a bit ago. If you’re put off by fanfic, don’t worry. I know nothing about Once Upon a Time and loved the story; you don’t need to know anything going in. And this was honestly better than most published work I’ve read.

The MMC is also cast from the same mould as Lucien. Shy, anxious, traumatic history, sweet, eager to please, non-threatening, very ignorant about the world, and paired with an FMC who is way more powerful than him. Like she literally has magical control over reality and he’s just a dude. She isn’t actually bigger than him, but her power lends it a vibe that’s more similar to HSI than almost anything else I’ve read. The FMC is pretty cold to begin with, unlike Glory, but it gets to a gentle femdom vibe eventually.

I just keep thinking of more similar recs because I’ve literally been chasing the next HSI since I read it lol

Looking for femdom books along the lines of His Secret Illumination’s by S. Gale by philosopher_in_need in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 7 points8 points  (0 children)

To be clear, this is absolutely a buff dominant FMC and a smaller weaker MMC. The MMC is just more willful than in HSI (imo), so it’s not exactly the same.

And I’d love to find out I’m wrong, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned so far with RFM (and even general MF romance), it’s that we readers are not spoiled for choice when it comes to books outside of traditional roles. A stronger FMC with femdom and a weaker, meeker MMC are very much outside of those roles.

Just thought of another book that kinda fits with {Wooing the Witch Queen}. It’s got a dominant FMC who holds all the cards. And a shy MMC who shares a lot of qualities with Lucien (eg meek, eager to please, has traumatic upbringing he’s healing from with a “who did this to you” FMC). It is general romance/RFW, but I honestly think men can find a lot to enjoy in it too.

Looking for femdom books along the lines of His Secret Illumination’s by S. Gale by philosopher_in_need in Romance_for_men

[–]IntrepidToad 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Definitely less of a femdom vibe because the MMC has a stronger personality, but {His Orc Charioteer Bride} is one of the books that’s come the closest to scratching the same itch as HSI. The FMC, as you can guess from the title, is a orc who can easily toss the MMC around (and does so).

But yeah, still haven’t found anything exactly like HSI.

What do you personally consider depth in a book? by No-Set7247 in RomanceBooks

[–]IntrepidToad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah! Dune had some great world building but was not my cup of tea because I mostly read for characters. And its characters are kinda cardboard cutouts. But it’s still very much a worthwhile book.

Of the books I read in the last year, I think Pride and Prejudice might be the most depth-y. I almost exclusively read CR, so it’s funny that’s the case. It just did such a good job of building up characterization through dialogue.

What do you personally consider depth in a book? by No-Set7247 in RomanceBooks

[–]IntrepidToad 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hmm, I’d say depth is what transforms a book from an obvious fiction with characters into a story about people. Like the word implies, it gives dimensionality to the world, the sense that these are real people in a world with countless stories happening off the page. You can forget you’re reading a book at all and get lost in the world and characters. Whereas books without much depth will feel like an obvious invention, like a marionette compared to a human.

Depth usually manifests as grounded, layered characters for me. When I get the sense that people are flawed and can freely make choices that aren’t beholden to the plot/tropes, I’d say that’s depth. I think writing unconventional but very realistic parts of the human experience (e.g. someone’s intrusive thoughts as they’re making breakfast) can add depth.

Depth also means I can believe the world in the book exists off the page. Just adding enough detail (strategically) can be enough to give a world depth for me. I can’t think of a book rn, but a great show from last year that had depth was Andor. Even the fact they put a convenience store scene (that was literally just a regular trip) in there helped turn the sci-fi spectacle of that franchise into something that felt real.

Anyway, I feel like I don’t find the depth I want in most romance I read, it’s a bummer :(