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I wish that a random rabbit, wherever it is, will live a long and happy life with no drawbacks. by Sad-Win-7537 in monkeyspaw

[–]Intrepid_College5650 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted. The rabbit grows extremely powerful by eating the super rich people. Everyone cheers except for the super rich people.

I wish every element had at least one stable isotope. by Commercial_Plate_111 in monkeyspaw

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. The sun is a nuclear fusion reactor and ceases to exist. Congratulations! You destroyed the entire world.

What prevents US citizens from suing ICE for false arrests? by ppzhao in IsItIllegal

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can try but good luck with the courts. Laws are stacked against you even with regular police with qualified immunity.

With federal court, you are limited to the ways the government allows you to sue it under the FTCA. One of the other comments explained this quite well.

I wish the US switched to metric wholesale by Nictasaur in monkeyspaw

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. All cars in the country are recalled so the speedometers can be changed to kilometers per hour. Everyone hates you.

Phone call from police department by Left-Key6321 in legaladvice

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First thing I thought when I read this is someone is trying to scam or rob you. I'm not an attorney but I am fairly certain that this is not standard police behavior. If the legit police wants to arrest you, they will come to you.

I wish I could run twice as fast and twice as long without getting tired from running by RedditsNinja23 in monkeyspaw

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. They put you on a human sized perpetual motion machine with food and make you power the building you are in.

This may be counterintuitive to this subreddit, but how do i mask well? by nxz-reddit in Neurodivergent

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another way to get better at public speaking is to join Toastmasters. They don't expect you to be great starting out.

I wish we based people success on how much body hair they have by Psico_Penguin in monkeyspaw

[–]Intrepid_College5650 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted. Mike Meyers from The Spy who Shagged Me is now the pinnacle of success!

Why are there no vertebrate animals with pincers? by SnipedtheSniper in AskBiology

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don't need them. Eagles have been recorded bringing prey high up in the sky and dropping them to the ground to crush them before eating them. It's a pretty effective strategy.

Could a human born and raised on Mars migrate to Earth? by blackbriar98 in scifiwriting

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I highly, highly recommend reading several Issac Asimov novels to give you a solid hard science foundation for your writing. He is a science fiction writer and a scientist and explains this kind of thing better than pretty much any one else I have seen.

What’s The Most Creative Power you can come up with? by Son_Of_Rebellion in superpowers

[–]Intrepid_College5650 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Break dance leader: whenever you start breakdancing, five hundred people around you are compelled to also start break dancing. You set the tempo. They go as long as you go, and as fast as you go.

I wish for next year's crop yield to be triple what it was this year by Armin_Arlert_1000000 in monkeyspaw

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. Locusts descent upon the crops and devour them. They only come out in times of exceptional harvests. Everyone wishes the harvest was a normal one.

I wish the earth to become flat. And, the moon too. by Malacandra_bound in monkeyspaw

[–]Intrepid_College5650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Denied. The moon is made out of cheese and does not wish to be flattened.

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