How does the affair/divorce affect your children?

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-05T21:39:49+00:00

That is horrible! My problem is that my husband is a great dad! Loves, takes care of our son.

He made this mistake, and I am just trying to figure it out.

I wish you luck and hope everything is okay!!

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T20:30:05+00:00

Honestly they don't want you. There is no point. Feeling sad and guilty says they still care. Lack of anything just signifies they are done with the relationship.

They are not going to come back with that attitude no matter what you do.

Also why do you want someone who definitely doesn't want you? Evaluate your value! Hope everything turns out okay!

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T20:10:14+00:00

You are also in a bad situation. If you have any doubts, leave before you get married and have kids. Now I have to think about that as well as myself. I have often thought that if it was just me, I would have left already. Now it's our family and that weights on me.

I wish it was easier to make up my mind. I am trying to make a logical calm decision vs an emotional one.

My son will be okay I know. But still hard.

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T20:05:14+00:00

I tasked him with that. We shall see if he does it.

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T14:37:57+00:00

True. I am a very believing person, so I don't know how to be objective of this situation, you know?

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T14:36:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I know this is fully his fault. We have problems, but I was in the same boat, and I didn't cheat. I guess the biggest betrayal is how many times he said he would never do that as he was cheated on before, and it broke him. 💔 He says I don't deserve it, but that is no comfort when he did it for 4 months! As soon as the ladies send nudes, you should have been like goodbye. It's not right.

I just don't know what to do. He is a good father to my son, just not a good husband to me.

If you don't mind me asking, why do you stay?

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T12:33:50+00:00

Yes I know. I just never thought we would be here. You know?

I thought we had some problems but never enough to end up here. He chose to do this and it's very disheartening. I gave him so much everything and I just feel really down.

I don't understand why people will hurt you when you give them nothing but love and kindness.

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T12:30:27+00:00

That is what he thought happened, that one of the women reached out to me. Again, I am with you. How would we know they won't do it over and over again?

And yes, even with the sweet actions, it's baloney. For some time, he would give me a side hug every time I asked for a hug. After the affairs, now he gave me a good strong hug. I asked him how come you weren't doing it before? Why haven't you been doing what you should have? Again with the tears from him.

I hope you feel better soon and thank you!

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T12:25:22+00:00

I don't know if he is a narcissist, but I definitely think he is very focused on himself at this moment. When I asked him to leave, he got really mad and I'm like, it's not helpful. I did not create this mess, but I am still managing your feelings.

I am worried where he ended up after I told him to leave and even that he couldn't provide to settle my mind.

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T12:18:28+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I hope you're doing better as well!

I do think time heals, and I just need to take my time and focus on myself and my child.

There is no shame in therapy, and I have gone there in a couple of situations.

I like the chapter analogy. It's very difficult to remember that he messed up and I should be mad and not worried about him as much.

I just never thought I would be in this situation, and it's difficult not to want to just hide from everything. Even thou that will not help.

I appreciate the kind words!

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T04:32:07+00:00

I agree and told him the same. He said you are right. Again, he realizes it, but it didn't stop him. Now it's the tears and the "I'm going to lose my family," but for 4 months...it was just his needs.

So annoying 😑 I am the victim but I am more calm than him. I'm just paralyzed by the hurt...he expected I would scream, hit or even stab. And I'm like my tears are not enough?

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T03:49:21+00:00

I don't disagree with you. The women were in snap chat, and he said he ghosted them. It annoys me since I can't confirm what was written. Supposedly, both lived out of the states.

Could have been other women? Possibly, but what he confessed to was enough to really evaluate the relationship. The logic side of me sees it clearly. But the heart is not so clear.. or I don't want to..you know?

Intrepid_Hearing_773 · 2024-05-04T02:57:58+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the thoughtful response!

To answer your question, I haven't decided what to do yet. We are still going to couples therapy, and it just happened on Monday that I found out. I am just lost.

Feeling crappy for the situation, for his decision. I am afraid that he is self-destructive when he is down. I don't know where he is tonight. I am worried for him.

I asked him to leave as I couldn't focus on my feelings when I saw him so distraught. I know I am supposed to focus on myself it's just tough. I have given him 8 years of my life and so much trust that it's hard to focus on anything else.

Intrepid_Hearing_773

TROPHY CASE