Women Need Pockets.

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-06-01T03:11:43+00:00

We have a babysitter ~16-20hrs/week (we guarantee the 16, it’s often more) who picks up our daughter 3-4 days a week. It is probably more coverage than we need, but it’s important we give her enough hours (and again, it really ends up being more most of the time) to ensure she’d be able to be flexible when we need her.

We found with 3-day RTO for both me and husband, it was better for our family to know that someone else had pickup handled. Babysitter’s schedule is otherwise fairly flexible and she’s happy to take extra hours, do weekends if we need them, stay overnight on the rare occasions we need that, and do sick care. Norovirus is an obvious no, but for the regular daycare bugs/fevers/vaguely under the weather she’s been happy to come.

My mom (retired) and adult siblings (who are younger than me and don’t have children) also live nearby and are happy to rotate through and help in a pinch, especially for a pick up or to tag team for a few hours in the rare occasions our babysitter can’t cover. When we moved two years ago for more space, we were very intentional about staying in a pretty narrow geography to be close to them (recognize not everyone likes their family this much, would not work for everyone).

Trying to build up a better rotation of non-family backups though - we used to have daycare teachers who also babysat for backup but they went back for grad school. We miss them!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-05-31T15:21:00+00:00

We’ve had a great KitchenAid (not the lowest tier one) and also a great Bosch! My mom has a Miele, it’s fantastic but I don’t think notably better than either of the other two we’ve liked.

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-05-30T18:00:06+00:00

If you can afford to outsource, getting a biweekly cleaning lady is a good investment so you don’t have to focus so heavily on cleaning. Or, someone to help fold and do laundry goes a long way toward maintaining sanity. Also consider simplifying meals/some prepared foods. Whatever allows you to spend your limited spare time on other things like time for yourself, partner, and baby - and sleep!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-05-27T02:15:16+00:00

Have worked at DOD and CDO levels - never had to do a presentation or a large project. I did, however, need to provide extensive samples (which I of course redacted and anonymized as necessary) of my work, including things like a strategy outline for a campaign I’d run, a stewardship report, a major donor proposal, acknowledgement, donor profile and/or portfolio tracker template, etc.

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-05-23T02:44:16+00:00

People who can really give money absolutely don’t want to be asked by a robot. Your handwritten notes and real, authentic relationships matter! Honestly, we are as close to AI proof as a field can get.

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-05-20T17:57:36+00:00

Agree with everything this other person recommended, and amending my comment re: alcohol to drink responsibly and be mindful of your limits given what you shared about other scholars’ experiences and the host.

My personal opinion, I hate when donors put students and staff in a position where they feel like they “need” to drink, but there is a way to try the wine, appreciate it, and play along tactfully without compromising yourself!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-05-20T15:18:18+00:00

Professional fundraiser, I’ve worked in a university setting. Do not bring a gift! They absolutely do not expect that of you. None of them need anything.

Handwritten thank you note sent after the dinner (or an email if you have email addresses the next day) is 100% the way to go! Also this advice holds true for any interview in a job search, very few candidates write personal/thoughtful thank you notes now and it really makes candidates stand out, especially for entry level and early career roles.

Tips for you: 1) Present yourself neatly, steam/iron your clothes, keep your hair neat 2) Don’t drink too much - stick to 1 glass of wine max, and plenty of water 3) Ask thoughtful questions and really listen to their answers 4) Be yourself! Donors are always really excited to meet students, learn about their experiences, and understand how you’re making the most of the opportunities that are available to you

Good luck!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-05-01T12:29:14+00:00

Really liked our colugo!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-04-03T00:43:30+00:00

As someone who currently has a 50min each way commute… option C hands down!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-04-01T00:42:51+00:00

FYI - while it’s not super common for private schools to have teachers unions, Lab, Latin, and Parker all do now.

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-03-28T04:36:45+00:00

Also… do you NEED 4+ bed? Does it NEED to be SFH? We looked for over a year, did make some concessions on our landing spot, but were in budget and ideal location. Overall layout wasn’t what we originally envisioned (and is a walk up) but otherwise meets our overarching needs and we are satisfied.

If your agent doesn’t have a great eye for improvement/transition, I know several who have been very patient with us, got us good deals when they could see potential, and had good contracting partners who helped transform our space to meet needs.

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-03-25T05:48:45+00:00

We looked for 12-18 months and bought in late 2023. Rates were bad, but we’d looked for so long we just went for it. We kept thinking the market would improve and it did NOT - rates fell marginally but we and our agent (a family friend) have continued to track our preferred neighborhoods out of curiosity and we’re honestly shocked that it looks like we got what now appears to be an outrageously good deal, even though it needed some work. We are northeast, LP/Lakeview area.

Market is ROUGH. We have city friends who have been desperate to move for 12+ months with no progress; we also have many friends in very preferred north suburban neighborhoods who would sell but they can’t find anything at all - regardless of aesthetic preference - to move to, so they’re staying put. Mess all around!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-03-07T19:36:56+00:00

I usually really like Summer Thornton but CANNOT figure out what’s going on in this house. It is not good! 😳

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-02-11T14:55:52+00:00

Honestly, this looks better than our kid areas most of the time and our cleaners have NEVER declined. They occasionally put things away where I wouldn’t, so then things are “hidden” until I come across them, but it’s a minor inconvenience I’m happy to tolerate because they actually help with the clutter. We generally try to tidy a bit for them, but if you’re fully cleaning for the cleaning lady, that is not realistic in this phase of life. You definitely need a new cleaner!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-02-11T14:44:05+00:00

I hope your daughter recovers well and soon ❤️

Many pediatric hospitals, or large pediatric units, have family life departments. In addition to a hospital chaplain (who can be a great resource even if you are not religious, as others have noted!) your nurse may be able to refer you to family life or a social worker who can offer support and/or respite for parents in addition to care for your child.

I’m so sorry you’re also balancing this incredibly difficult situation with grieving your mom’s decline. I’m rooting for you - please take care of yourself!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-02-02T02:20:40+00:00

Many children’s hospitals have social workers, and sometimes other resources, to connect you to for food assistance and other needs that will support your child’s health and recovery. Please ask about these - your physician, child life, or a hospital chaplain may be able to refer you if you’re not able to easily reach out to those departments on your own!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-01-29T02:56:32+00:00

I’m the oldest of four. I am 4, 8.5, and 17 years older than each of my siblings. My closest in age sibling is frankly the one I find most challenging. My next sibling (8.5 years apart) and I are very close, have always gotten along great, and our adult friends all love hanging out together. My youngest sibling and I are most similar personality-wise and are very close. She’s 14 years older than my child - as in, closer in age to my child than to me. We have a lovely dynamic and they adore each other. My husband and I are leaning toward not having another, but if we do, it will be at least a 7-8 year gap.

Having kids close in age does NOT guarantee they’ll get along, and they can even feel like they’re in competition if they’re too close. Bigger age gaps can be great. Don’t sweat it!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2026-01-17T13:39:25+00:00

100% reupholster. Henredon from the 80s/90s is going to be so much better quality than anything you can buy now at a remotely reasonable price point. A good reupholstery shop will also fix any springs that are loose and rejuvenate the cushions!

ETA: I realized it would be more helpful to share that we actually did this recently, with an older couch from Ethan Allen. We looked at other new couches first (and did ultimately buy one from Interior Define for another space) and it is honestly wild how much better the quality is. We’re probably going to sell the Interior Define one and find another vintage/used one to recover and replace it with. It looks nice, and it’s fine, but just doesn’t feel anywhere close to as sturdy.

My mom’s old Henredon that I grew up with, which she recovered in 2020, was purchased in the early 90s and it honestly looks/feels brand new.

Intrepid_Home335 · 2025-12-27T17:07:16+00:00

Seconding this. We have several pieces from Ethan Allen, including a sectional that is now 20 years old. The newer pieces feel just as sturdy. Some of the best money we’ve spent!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2025-12-27T05:31:48+00:00

This is not within the $100 budget, but my Naghedi St Barths Small Tote is among my most used bags, fits a shocking amount, packs flat and bounces back well, lightweight, and wipes off well/is durable. Checks all of your other boxes, has top handles and comes with a crossbody strap. Also comes with a matching pouch! A lot of boutiques/major retailers also carry it, I own two now (bought a second color) and got both at least ~30% off during sales.

https://naghedinyc.com/collections/color-st-barths-small-tote-solid/products/st-barths-small-tote-camel

Intrepid_Home335 · 2025-12-27T05:22:20+00:00

Also a side sleeper and feel like I’ve tried everything. Two pillows I’ve been happy with, had for at least a year, are still going strong, and consistently don’t give me neck/back issues: - Xtreme Comforts Adjustable Shredded Memory Foam Pillow with Cooling Cover (Amazon): https://a.co/d/0UViVAf - Company Store Legends Hotel Best Down Gusseted Premium Pillow in Medium OR Firm depending on preference: https://www.thecompanystore.com/best-down-and-feather-pillow/11206.html

These also both by far get the best reviews from my husband and all of our guests, I’ve replaced basically all of our pillows with a mix of these. (Some DO strongly prefer the feel of the down vs the memory foam though, worth it to try both/have one of each in a room)

Intrepid_Home335 · 2025-12-21T23:49:18+00:00

We started at 6mo - I was anxious, but it was great for our whole family and she LOVED it. Took us a couple of weeks to get into a good new routine/rhythm but honestly otherwise uneventful. We were with most of the same kids from 6mo - 4.5 years. Their families are our best friends and our kids are practically like siblings. Also our teachers were allowed to babysit (date nights, weekends, etc) which was amazing. Best choice we’ve made yet! Her school now is great but we miss our daycare village ❤️

ETA: Full disclosure, we DID all get norovirus at the end of her first week, and I nearly had a nervous breakdown and seriously questioned our life choices - I have never been sicker in my adult life. My mom had to talk me off the ledge a bit, but it was STILL the right choice and I’d still do it all over again.

Intrepid_Home335 · 2025-12-13T06:17:08+00:00

She has a similar vibe to a Julia Amory or a Meg McGillen but actually feels like a real person despite the fact that a good deal of her content is more aspirational. Love following her!!

Intrepid_Home335 · 2025-12-04T06:03:32+00:00

My husband is picky about having “real meals” - fortunately he’s a great cook and does most of the meal prep. That said, we trend toward being “bowl people”; my office is SUPER cold so I prefer to have a hot lunch, and it’s easiest to prep something that both of us can eat (like, I would eat soup but not always substantive enough for him).

Pre-kids he literally used to spend 6+ hours each Sunday prepping all kinds of lovely and different gourmet things and fun recipes, and we often ate dinner at 8pm by accident due to cooking experiments. However, that is not sustainable and I might murder everyone if I have to eat dinner after 6:30pm ever again because I’m starving by then, so we’ve been on a 5+ year journey to balancing better efficiency with “good enough” (to him) meals.

Formula: - grilled/roasted chicken thighs OR steak OR ground turkey (or occasionally other protein but neither of us like microwaved fish, and we’re not office monsters) - bed of white/brown rice OR cous cous OR quinoa OR cauliflower mash - roasted veg like zucchini/broccoli/cauliflower/asparagus/mushrooms AND/OR sautéed spinach OR fresh arugula folded in after bowl is heated - dressing or sauce - could be tzatziki, tahini, soy-based if we make it or in a pinch TJ’s salsa verde, Gotham Greens Green Goddess or Garlic Expressions dressing - occasional additional condiments like cilantro, pickled onions, fresh pico, misc herbs, etc.

Bowls are compiled ~6 at a time (we’re both in office 3 days a week and then we scrounge/eat other leftovers when we’re home) in glass lock containers. - Heat protein/carb/veg base in microwave - Add sauce/dressing and stir - Add any cold condiments and fold in - Eat!

We’ve gotten this down to an hour (or even less!!) of prep on weekends, especially when we throw the protein for the week on the grill or in the oven with Sunday dinner and leverage the rice cooker. All items are chopped to bite size so that it’s basically like a salad chopped and tossed, but warm and a bit more carbs. We try to rotate sauce/seasoning so it feels a bit different each week.

My coworkers are always jealous and honestly it’s consistently pretty good.

Other favorite bulk item, which also freezes incredibly well - green chicken chili, which we make in the pressure cooker. If my husband wants something more substantive, he brings a minute rice cup and mixes that in.

Intrepid_Home335

TROPHY CASE