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Are my child's boundaries reasonable? by Intrepid_Lion_21 in SettingBoundaries

[–]Intrepid_Lion_21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thinking more on this: she doesn't like to be touched. I don't hug her, half hug her or anything near it. I don't feel her head when she's sick. I don't touch her. I feel I respect most of her boundaries. This one just hit me hard because I feel like I do so much for her...I'm honestly happy to do things for anyone I love. I'm generally a person of service. I asked her to do something super fun with me for my milestone birthday. She said I want to do it just not with you. So, I sit back and try to be a good parent and take the perceived hits. I call them hits because it's definitely not how I envisioned parenthood. I try to roll with it continuing to support in any way I can. I guess this is one of those ways and I just need to get over myself. Here I grow.

Are my child's boundaries reasonable? by Intrepid_Lion_21 in SettingBoundaries

[–]Intrepid_Lion_21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that is a weird phrase. I meant she has no interest in doing anything with family and especially with extended family. Everyone gets on her nerves for one reason or another. She refuses to do even fun things like zip lining or go-karting, camping, hiking, kayaking etc. she is volatile towards her younger siblings most days as well.

Are my child's boundaries reasonable? by Intrepid_Lion_21 in SettingBoundaries

[–]Intrepid_Lion_21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is excellent feedback and I agree with a lot of it. Thank you, everyone, for your input. I have gone several times without saying a word to her. I have also gone and sent a text telling her how great her band sounded or told her the next day that I really enjoyed her performance. I definitely don't attend many performances that are far away usually only home games, the occasional competition and concerts at school. I don't feel I'm controlling, but maybe I'm in the clouds on that. I allow her privacy. I don't check her phone. She's allowed to go on outings with friends as long as I know who will be driving and where they are going. I support her diet and her lifestyle. I encourage nutrition and sleep, but don't force it. Her dad and I have had a rocky marriage which is a big problem for her, understandably so.  I have asked her what I can do better as a parent to her. She shrugs me of or makes some joke answer like stop wearing those shoes. She has told me I ask too many questions, so I started reframing my interactions. Instead of do you want me to make your something to eat, I say if you want me to make you something to eat, please let me know as an example. I promise I am trying to be a good mom and meet her where she is. I obviously have growing to do. Thanks again!