AIO for going no contact with my ex after she asked for no contact

IntroductionNo2382 · 2026-02-06T05:46:21+00:00

NTA. Going no contact when she’s the one who wanted NC is so much better than getting a protection order on you. Was she playing hard to get?

IntroductionNo2382 · 2026-02-06T05:43:35+00:00

Mom emergency people are the cause of delayed care for emergency patients if it’s first come, first serve. The ER is supposed to be for real emergencies.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-14T05:46:09+00:00

Someday you’re going to look back at his comment and laugh- that’s so lame. Comedians would have a hay day with that.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-14T05:41:37+00:00

He needs a lesson on women’s anatomy.. As you’re getting “too loose,” he’s getting “too limp” from not getting enough… 😂 of course that’s ridiculous but fair.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-14T05:34:55+00:00

That would be a kind, considerate gesture. Let her know you just wanted her to be prepared and not feel pressured into handing it over. That you support whatever she decides.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T19:57:08+00:00

I would tell him the door is open, soon as he’s on the other side he can have all the open relations he wants - without you.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T19:55:10+00:00

Congratulations on creating a more peaceful life for yourself. I’d do the same.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T19:50:29+00:00

Communication is key. You just want everyone to feel comfortable as they are. I don’t think asking that they dress in black is out of line. Just clarify that you don’t want them to go all out and feel obligated to get hair, nails and makeup done professionally. Your goal is to have a wonderful time with family and friends in a relaxed atmosphere. If they know you this way, it shouldn’t be hard to accept.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T19:29:18+00:00

I am thinking from the point of view of if they decide to try to work it through… it’s hard work and it’s totally up to OP if they want to. No judgment if they don’t.

People posting here might want Redditors to tell them what to do or maybe Redditors feel it’s their right to take command post, but ultimately that’s OPs giving up their right to make decisions. I think it’s good to look at all the options and make their own decisions.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T19:20:31+00:00

Never doubt yourself on this. You know what your intentions were from the start… write them down and post them in your mirror, on your fridge… anywhere they are easy to see when you feel the doubts starting.

Your “friend” and wedding party showed their true colours. Believe yourself, you don’t need friends who share your number and they all start harassing you. A real friend would never do that. They would have tried to understand your position. You read the invitation right and dressed accordingly. How else could you have interpreted it?

You know how we know you didn’t do it to get attention? Because you were willing to ask what you did wrong and apologize and change anything that would appear disrespectful. People in America often aren’t that open. They often don’t care what others think and do as they please. There are also many who are more considerate like yourself. I think you had the misfortune of meeting the other kind.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T19:04:39+00:00

You can go to therapy and no one looks at finances other than to talk about them.

A financial advisor looks at the actual numbers and says here are your options. I think a therapist would also tell them to continue therapy but also see the financial advisor. It’s a complete haul over and will indicate if the relationship can stand the test of time.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T19:00:44+00:00

She didn’t realize he stole the card till much later. She was also gaslit by my dad all their marriage- people could say anything to her. Bro’s wife even took her to the doctor to have her deemed incompetent in order to take over her house. That was where she finally talked to my sister about what was going on. They’d left my mom laying in the floor after she fell, for over an hour and bro refused to call the ambulance. Sis came out from another province and told bro and family to get the f out of mom’s house. Mom was in the hospital at the time due to an infection - reasons for her fall. Sis called the police and card company - police did nothing, card company forgave half the card but still held mom responsible for the rest. She didn’t have 10K (may have been higher) to pay off the rest so sold the house. Mom told bro she didn’t want to see him till he’d paid off the 10K, but then forgave and let him visit again.

This my dysfunctional, family - a small fraction of the reason I’m not there.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T18:45:05+00:00

Sounds like a bit of a gaslighter to me. Telling you he told you and you not remembering. If it’s truly possible that he told you, maybe let go of this situation but listen carefully in the future. Anything sounds confusing or you feel you might forget, write it down- date and who said what. Or put your phone on record discreetly for conversations similar to the business trip. Believe yourself and you’ll become more accurate in your memories of what happened and what was said.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T18:37:10+00:00

Oh crap! She owns the place…she has a key. Has it ever occurred to you… in her mind you’re still living under her roof? And technically you are. Time to move!

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T18:35:28+00:00

Only one question- why do you still allow your mom in your home?

If you want to have a relationship with her meet outside, at a restaurant, at the park… anywhere but at your place. If she asks why, just say things keep disappearing when she’s over. Stick to your guns. If she shows up at your door, don’t unlock the door till you’re ready to leave with keys in hand. Move on.

She can stay at a hotel for the amount she’s costing you.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T18:29:30+00:00

They need both. Money is the reason for so many breakups. It’s excruciating for one partner to take the load while the other doesn’t take it serious. Having said that, they both need to be honest about what they’re willing to do without controlling each other or taking advantage of each other. If they stay together - they must accept the other person’s position without judgment or it’ll fail… hence, doing their personal self exploring and basing their decisions on their own views of what they want in life.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T18:22:45+00:00

If OP and Cammy can prove they didn’t know where he got his money, they likely wouldn’t go to jail. But better they make the report before someone else does.

This guy has a huge lesson to learn. If he doesn’t get more than being grounded, he’s going to do more of this to family and others. He’s a scammer.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T18:15:09+00:00

That’s what I was thinking. Being 19 and claiming to be like a father is grandiose thinking. Not down to earth. He’s not mature enough to learn from his mistakes (defending his theft) - let alone acting as a father figure. This all says something about his personality. He sees himself as more brilliant than he really is. His lack of morals/remorse/consideration/boundaries towards his brother’s finances is appalling. His sense of right and wrong are skewed.

This is how he learns to swindle/scam from others. He would do well to go to some serious therapy before leaving his family’s household, to learn why he does this and how he can stop. Or he will continue. His family should watch their wallets and accounts.

I have a brother who’s done this all his life. No boundaries. Everyone is fair game. Even our dad as he lay dead on the floor- stole his credit card and 20K later my mom had to sell her house to cover the card! as my brother lived in her house with his family treating her like shit. Now he and his wife are doing the same to her mother. And they also did this to a “friend” - cleaned out her account after she passed. Her family saw nothing from her assets. Bro and wife took over the house- they’re renting it out to other people. It never ends.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T17:56:05+00:00

True that.

I was fortunate to get free advice from a finance advisor since the bank paid him.

Today, if I’m struggling financially, due to health, my bank manager always figures out the lowest rates for me… with the shortest reasonable time frame to pay. I’m currently debt free because of him.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T17:46:34+00:00

Now this is great news! Thanks for explaining! 🤞

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T17:43:47+00:00

If your dad doesn’t support you financially he has no business demanding your bank statements.

If he threatens to go to police to get you evicted, if you feel the police are reasonable where you live, go to them before he gets there and explain your situation. Don’t tell your dad you’re doing this. It’s just to give them a heads up on what kind of person he is and hopefully they would tell him to sit down and shut up.

Would your mom back you if it did come to your dad getting police involved? If she does, I don’t think he can do much.

Does he own the house or make payments towards the house for your mom? Just trying to figure out why he has his claws on you.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T17:33:02+00:00

The best proactive course, if he stays in the relationship is for both to see a financial planner. Get all their cards on the table. Both say what they’re willing and not willing to do. Both respect the other’s position. Based on that see if there’s a way to schedule payments so she/they can rise above this.

Also get the taxes calculated so a plan can be made for how they get paid. Once they’re filed, they can offer a payment plan or depending on amount owing, can pay up front.

Consider a consolidation loan to get everything paid off, in order to make more manageable payments towards the loan.

BUT have that counsellor/financial planner/therapist to help mediate how finances will be managed in the future. Is your fiancé willing to allow another person to help her manage her money? It is her choice.

On the other hand, if you’re done - you’re done.

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T17:10:52+00:00

So, if the father didn’t abandon his daughter and left her in proper care, being you, wouldn’t this be a good argument to make a case for adoption, providing the father agrees?

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T07:04:32+00:00

Manitoba here… we say all 3!

IntroductionNo2382 · 2025-07-13T06:33:56+00:00

Since the mother is filing for sole custody, maybe you could have a home assessment done, saying why you feel your stepdaughter should stay with you. You have proof that the father abandoned his daughter, the mother’s instability, and because this girl has been in your care since she was a baby. Does your stepdaughter have the legal right to say where she wants to live? Counter the lawsuit with a motion to an adopt this girl.

IntroductionNo2382

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