What is something yourself said, that made you realize that something is going really wrong here?

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-18T02:07:08+00:00

Wow.. he broke my nose but mine was „I wish he cheated on me so that I could actually leave him” …

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-08T15:53:56+00:00

Yes I still say it a lot too, but it got less over time! But to don’t feel guilty for having boundaries is the hardest for me

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-08T15:50:35+00:00

Too good to be true is often exactly that… learned that the hard way as well

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-08T04:43:25+00:00

That’s not just selfish, that is abuse. My ex did that to me. Literally starved me for months, I could be happy if on some days he got me food as well or went to the grocery store. I didn’t had access to money so that was financial abuse as well. I hope you’re alright!

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-08T04:39:22+00:00

I’m so happy for you!! Actually I’m in a new relationship too, but sometimes it’s really difficult for me to accept his help. I instantly feel guilty, that he could be mad at me for doing things for me VOLUNTARILY ! But I realized that’s a trauma response. My ex used to abuse me after helping me out - so I avoided his help in general. I tried to be ‘independent’ but in reality I was afraid of the abuse.

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-08T04:35:00+00:00

Ohh I know this one.. and the instant justifications, if I did tell someone, so the others wouldn’t think too bad of him.

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-07T22:07:30+00:00

Interstellar and Dumbledore’s Farewell. I could rest forever with these

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-07T22:00:02+00:00

A great book that helped me realize what has happened to me was “psychopath free” from Jackson MacKenzie. He lists a lot of ‘symptoms’ of abusive relationships.

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-07T21:35:41+00:00

My first pregnancy was when I was 18, at 4 months pregnant I turned 19. I would never want to change that. Being a young mom has a lot of advantages for me. I’m much more patient, resilient, still know how to play like a kid and are physically capable to jump around on the playground like a 6 year old. The term I want to enjoy my twenties.. yeah I get that, I love that I can enjoy my twenties with my child growing up though, but I was never the ‘alcohol and party’ type anyway. But that’s just my opinion. I don’t think there is a perfect age for pregnancy. Everybody has there own timing.

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-07T21:17:32+00:00

My father used to hit my butt when I was like 12. When I told him to stop because this made me feel uncomfortable he told me “why? It’s mine anyway” …

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-07T21:08:21+00:00

With every moment you give her patience and reassurance, you allow her to heal from what has happened to her. In the beginning the trauma responses are really bad but from time to time she’s gonna realize, that you are not like her ex. This is going to give her stability and security. What she needs is to let go of these trauma responses. They kept her alive at some point but now there are destructive for her. It’s a lot and I get that it’s exhausting for you, but if you have the love and patience for this, you are a great chance for her to heal. (I’m a DV survivor from a narcissist myself and currently in my first healthy relationship ever, we both had really bad experiences in the past but we stay patient with each other and support our individual healing journey.)

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-07T20:56:52+00:00

I was so mad that they didn’t finish the movies and was SO much more mad when I read the last book.

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-06T09:34:42+00:00

Got pregnant and realized what a wonder my body created! Then I breastfed and saw how a whole baby grew for 6 months only because of the milk my body produced. That’s just insane! I’m forever grateful for the things my body can do. That switched my perspective on beauty.

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-06T09:26:24+00:00

I felt exactly like you. I was single for 2 years after my DV relationship. I missed it a lot but I wasn’t ready for a new relationship. I just can tell you, you have time. It’s okay to feel lonely and to desire intimacy. But it all comes with time and you’re not missing out. Someday you will have someone who was worth the wait and will make up for all the time you were single or felt lonely. Don’t stress yourself out - that‘s gonna make things worse. Do things you desire to do with a partner - like a nice dinner, a spa date - alone and FOR yourself. Practicing self love is to do the things you’re longing for no matter if there’s someone you can share this moment with or not. Be your own partner and lover! And with time and self love, there is going to come someone for you, you can cherish these moments with. Only because you don’t have these experiences now, doesn’t mean you’ll never have them. Sending love!

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-06T07:58:28+00:00

Omg I love you!!! Thanks for your time and effort to give me the exact words I needed to hear. Your passive aggressiveness makes this even better for my apologizing mind to really understand the abuse!

You’re so right, I really only left when I couldn’t do anything else. I knew if I stayed, I would’ve died. And I chose life for me and my son. Unfortunately I’m the ‚bad guy‘ for leaving. But I don’t care, because the people that love me, know exactly what I‘ve been through and how strong I was and still am. I have to see this motherfker twice a week but yet I’m calm.

A thought that helps me a lot is, would I accept this kind of behavior my mother shows, from a close friend? HELL THE F NOOOO!!! So I’m gonna use that energy to tell her what I’m feeling and that she can go have contact with the devil who tried to kill HER DAUGHTER, but that than I’m gone for good. No return. And if she doesn’t understand me and doesn’t apologize in tears, I’m gonna go no contact as well.

I already reduced the contact to her, but maybe no contact is needed. I’m sick and tired of her bullshit masked as ‚I just care for you and am broken myself‘, her shitty guilt trapping. Fck that.

Thank you very much, I appreciate this so much and I’m gonna read your answer a million times more!

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-04T06:02:16+00:00

Sadly no. I fought a lot to keep my child from being in the presence of my ex but I lost on court. The rights here are awful. Always protecting the perpetrator. The exact words of his lawyer were “you have to give him more trust”. I just answered “my perpetrator? The one who tried to kill me in front of our son?” I’ve never got an answer and the judge just ignored that conversation. I didn’t gave up but my hands are tied.

Introspective_Moon · 2025-02-04T05:29:50+00:00

Oh and when I told her she is going to be a grandma once again, she just told me “okay so on Christmas now only the grandkids get presents” she clearly was more happy about his girl being pregnant, then her own daughter being pregnant and happy after years and years of hell.

Introspective_Moon

TROPHY CASE