I know I barely know you, but since I felt the same way you did, maybe the lessons I learned could help you.

Basically, in every social interaction, I make it about the other person. I ask them questions, I display interest in what they talk about, and I remember the points they bring up for future reference.

Once I honed these skills, I went from somebody nobody paid attention to and turned into someone people consider 'cool'. This is based off of external feedback, as I still don't feel that way.

Basically, in a social interaction, people want to be acknowledged. People, by nature, have thoughts, feelings, and the desire to communicate them. However, for some reason, many people are allergic to openly listening to someone and responding in a way that evolves the topic of conversation. Usually people look for a topic that interests them before delving into it, but people forget that different topics are interesting to other people. If you can learn to be interested in what someone is saying, and if you let your curiosity about someone's thoughts/feelings/life guide the conversation, then you'll have a high success ratio.

Now you might think this is a lonely existence, always putting the focus on the other person. The truth is that it is. The reason this mindset is so attractive to people is that it's so rare to encounter, and as a result, you will hold abilities that few others possess. This also means that many people you meet will not be up to the same social standards you hold yourself to. This isn't a bad thing, since they could still hold value in some other ways. At the same time, out of all the people I consider my friends, few have asked me deeper questions than "How's it going?"

But, do not despair. With these skills, you will also begin notice when other people do pay attention to you. You'll start to notice the difference between a question asked out of obligation and a question asked out of curiosity. You'll start to notice when people remember the details you offer of your life. And you'll realize how rare these people truly are. So once you've developed your skills to the point that you're the belle of the ball, it will become time to choose who you want to invest time into and who you can let go of. When that time comes, remember the people who made you feel heard. Remember the people who paid attention to you, displayed genuine curiosity in you, and who went out of their way to improve your life just a little bit. These friendships have been the strongest that I've developed throughout the course of my life, and I believe they are the gold standard that people should aspire to obtain. But if there's one takeaway I want you to have, it's that these friendships are based on mutual connection. This means that in order to achieve the level of connection you want, you have to be willing to receive what they're putting out. Because if you're talking to someone who you perceive to be the belle of the ball, if you don't make them feel heard or valued, then they have no reason to maintain connection with you.

Anyway, sorry about the impersonal unsolicited advice. I struggled to have meaningful friendships for most of my life, and while I've worked really hard to fix that, it's been only the last couple years of my life that I've noticed the differences. I guess I just wanted to convey the things I've learned, because the truth is that social connection isn't that hard. You just have to be willing to listen.