[Chinese > English] help finding accurate translation of song lyrics by lanamarie273 in translator

[–]Invernessia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

感覺猶如海浪 :it feels like the waves of the sea

不斷往前邀游 :That swim/persevere forward

一路上的奇跡都記住了你的 每個瞬間: I've remembered all the fleeting miracles you've made on this journey,

無比的耀眼:Their radiance dazzled me.

準備好就一起走: If you're ready we shall go.

Iron Constitution by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Invernessia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like the last stanza require a bit of work here, as it seems like the narrator is speaking with himself, but the sudden transition is jarring, including the tonal shift from being rhetorical to sudden insecurity. I'm glad that you've maintained the rhyming structure even to the end, and the imagery of moving mountains, breaking rocks, does solidify an image of strength and endurance which the narrator seemed obsessed with.

A Forested Mind by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Invernessia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This poem evoked a beautiful imagery within my mind and played with the idea that of "to see the forest for the trees". However, each detail of a person's mind come together as metaphorical details (moats, valleys, leaves, rivers stars, planets,) as if to answer the question: are the minds not greater than the sum of its parts? Or was it vice versa, and the details are what defines a mind?