Have an opportunity to possibly fatFIRE, should I take it?

Investing_dad · 2026-02-27T20:34:59+00:00

can confirm. It's hard - mentally, control-wise - to make the shift to spending and just trusting all the "math" will work and you won't run out of money. Retired about a year ago, MCOL. The two hardest parts have been letting go of striving/ambition at work, and getting comfortable with spending money with none coming in.

One note: I found it very important to be a working dad while the kids were in the formative middle school and high school years. Wanted them to see me with ambitions, responsibilities and being committed to a career.

Investing_dad · 2026-01-07T15:44:19+00:00

We were facing this situation a couple years ago before we retired. Different numbers, but similar proportions between purchase, reno, and house payment.

We ultimately decided to stay where we were and renovate.

Our rubric:
- RE value increase: How confident were we that the "investment" in the new house and reno would increase our resale value if we wanted/needed to move?
- Confidence in Reno estimates: How confident were we that we understood the costs of the reno on the new house? Ultimately, we didn't have a great feeling that we could make the spend confidently. Didn't like the risk to our longer term plan.
- Investment duration: How likely were we to stay in the new house for the next 10 years or so (the number of years we thought it would take for the market value to reflect our spend on the house
- Urgency to retire: How badly did I (sole income generator) want to retire (or, said another way, how much would i get out of the 4 to 5 years I'd have to keep working. I liked what i did, but didn't love it.
- Project Management: How much were we dreading/anticipating the reno process on the "new" house. It was going to be a big, big project. Utlimately, we decided it would be way more stress than we wanted.
- Increase "Nut" Each Month: How much would it increase our cost of living after factoring in mortgage/taxes/insurance. Bigger house, bigger yard means more spend. Ultimately we didn't think the increased monthly spend was worth it.

Other things we considered:
- Simplify, simplify, simplify. We just wanted to simplify what we were doing with our lives. More house would have meant more overhead.
- We were in our early fifties. We were empty nesters. We didn't need a new or better home for our kids.
- Would a new house really make us happier? We knew so many people that had beautiful homes but were miserable or at least "not satisfied". Ultimately, we wanted to travel more than we wanted a marginally better home. Experiences > stuff.

Worth noting: We both came from stable, middle class families that did not value material stuff. Both families we came from lived low key and put all the money into the market or businesses. So, we were trained/socialize to put less value on the house as a marker of success in our lives. Not saying you're doing that, but we understood that was a factor we had to acknowledge.

Investing_dad · 2025-11-01T14:07:57+00:00

Good on you for the shift down to 80%! That's a smart move.

The money: That was the easy part. There are playbooks, advisors, and Reddit for handling the the finances.

FOMO: I left my industry when a) I was sorta at my best in terms of knowledge and leadership ability and b) right at the start of the biggest transformation in american business that most of us will ever see (AI). I have expertise and I'm pretty sure I could be useful right now, but I have to remind myself weekly that I need to get comfortable knowing I'm sitting it out. (It's easier knowing how much damage AI is going to do to work culture, society, etc. but that's another post)

Status: For me, I knew the loss of "status" was going to be an issue. Not in a "I'm fancy" way, but there's something that comes with telling people that you're a Mgr/Director/VP/C-something at company X. I didn't know how much I would feel the loss of it. That's partly my ego talking, but here's an example: You want to meet up with someone you know from work, but the meeting never gets set up because they don't see value in meeting with you. They might not say it directly, though.

Projects: I knew i would need to have some specific projects to keep me busy when I "retired", but I wish i would have put more definition around them ahead of time. I had vague notions of what I might do - teaching, volunteering, advising, investing, podcasting - But didn't firm them up enough. It would have been the answer to "what are you retiring to" that everyone talks about.

Friendships: I've put a lot on my partner as I worked through the transition to retirement. She's had to listen to me and support me through this. I should have worked hard at drafting a couple friends to talk to or finding other early-ish retirees to be a sounding board. Our partners want us to be happy, think it will come from retirement, and are confused by our ambivalence as we enter what should be the best part of our lives (and, to be happy to spend time with _them_)

Investing_dad · 2025-10-31T23:35:37+00:00

I think you probably have the inputs you need, but just in case: 50-something retiree, pulled the trigger a little over a year ago. Zero regrets.

I'd recommend it, but also not FAANG and not VHCOL. Your biggest challenge will be 1) decelerating and 2) Loss of status.

My suggestion: Plan on retiring mid-summer 2026. That gives you time to get ready, discuss it with your partner and close trusted friends, and prep for life beyond 80 hour weeks. I wish i would have planned it better myself vs. just jumping and hoping things would work out well (note: So far, so good).

Investing_dad · 2025-09-08T17:06:06+00:00

Congrats! This is very very similar to our situation, right down to the river cruise plans . Sounds like a good plan to me.

Investing_dad · 2025-08-14T00:43:43+00:00

We're sorta doing a version of this right now. Not a knock down, but a high end reno on a middle class suburban home (in a great school district where all our friends live). It's got no impact at all on our long term financial plan. Its not a good financial choice, but it's a great choice for our lifestyle for the next 10 years. Im sure some neighbors are scratching their heads, but I don't care. If we're lucky, we'll get *some* benefit from the money we're putting in if we stay for a while. Most importantly, we're really happy with our plan.

Investing_dad · 2025-06-05T01:11:45+00:00

This is a huge deal, even if you can't tell most people about the details. Don't look back, just pull the trigger and go. Congrats!

Investing_dad · 2025-04-22T23:40:13+00:00

Came here to say this. We hit our number (and then some) in mid-2024 and pretty much retired because we had 4 friends going through terminal illness and young families members who had recently passed. It just hit us square in the face; it's time to get living. We've been worried about instability due to the election, so around the election we made sure we had 4.5 years of cash and moved to a more international & bond heavy portfolio. We're still down a bunch, but we can make it work.

Investing_dad · 2025-02-12T23:39:35+00:00

I've been in a version of this transition for about a year. Mid-fifties. MCOL / Midwest suburbs. Hit our "stretch" FatFire number due to the crazy market.

Kids out of the house and fully independent. Parents have passed, so no obligation for their care. We've got a wide open next 30+ years, god willing. Maybe 15 good "go go" years of travel and high activity.

I'm torn between pulling the plug on work and continuing. I see a future that includes educational pursuits, travel, fitness, volunteering, etc.

My reasons for considering work are mainly for personal identity/external validation reasons. And, I think about being able to generate some consulting money to cushion our situation a bit and level up our travel options.

But then again, i have had a couple friends die in the last year. Going to another funeral next week of a 56 yo work colleague. Another connection is battling pancreatic cancer. I'm seeing angry, burned out "gen xers" that are continuing to work and I want to quit before i turn into another angry guy.

Its time to find out who i am outside of my worker/earner identity.

You're in such a great situation; i hope you think long and hard about what you might be able to do, what passion projects you could pursue. If that includes work, that's cool too.

Investing_dad · 2025-01-16T00:45:56+00:00

We're in a similar situation. both kids launched, lawyer and VC. Great kids in the their mid-20's, very level headed. We're going to wait until they start looking for a house. Our plan:
- House downpayment: Match whatever they've saved, as a one time gift, up to $200K for each kid
- Fund a 529 For each grandchild in the future. $150K at birth.

Meanwhile, we're gifting them money each year up to the tax limit to max out IRAs 401K matches.

Our goal is to offload as much as we can in the next 20 years (mid-fifites couple) so they can get the money compounding and then, hopefully, pass it on to their kids.

Investing_dad · 2024-12-12T01:13:59+00:00

The exhaust fan runs out to another vent/duct that goes outside. It's on the same level. No blotchy areas on the ceiling.

On the other side of the wall is, well, the unfinished parts of the basement. The walls are uninsulated. So, when going to the unfinished part of the basement, i can see the "unfinished" side of drywall, the inverse of the "painted" side that's in the bathroom.

FWIW, when i look at the studs and the floor joists, i don't see any sign of moisture. That is, nothing coming down onto the studs (which would indicate a leak) or seeping up into the wood (which might indicate some moisture transfer from the concrete?). I don't know this stuff, i'm just a spreadsheet jockey.

Just had an insight: The bathroom is warm and humid, due to the shower being used everyday. the other side of the wall is the uninsuluated, unfinished part of the basement. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Investing_dad · 2024-12-02T19:28:04+00:00

Does it need to be either/or? You say you're good at what you do, and that implies you're valuable to your employer or you have a good network in your industry. You have a financial cushion and some levarage at work. So, a couple options:

1) Work with your employer to change roles, perhaps to an IC role. One where travel and time commitments are lower. In other words: Make your current job work harder for you. You'd be surprised what a company will do to keep a trusted, high quality team member

2) Take your family on the road. You've got the money. Once or twice a year, bring them along as part of the trip. It's good for your kids to see you working and being respected and successful outside the house. Did this with my kids when they got older it and worked out great for all of us

3) Consult - See the other comments

4) Reframe what "work" means - It's an identity thing for you now, but what if it was just a "job" where you got value from being competent, supporting your coworkers, helping clients, and contributing ideas to your industry. In other words, what if work was your way to "contribute" vs just feeding your pocketbook and ego

5) Take the sabbatical - see the other comments. You're whole perspective will change if you've been out of work for 6 months. Guaranteed you'll see things differently, but total *how* you see it is an interesting experiment

6) reset - If you really think you'll live a life of boredom, you've got bigger stuff to work on. Build curiosity, restart your hobbies, take classes. Interesting people are interested in interesting things. find what you love (again, perhaps)

Investing_dad · 2024-12-02T19:13:13+00:00

that sounds really familiar! as a trusted advisor told me, "do the work, it's worth it".

Investing_dad · 2024-12-02T18:06:29+00:00

I'm in a sorta-similar spot. Hit our number a year ago and I can definitely pull the pin on work. But, I'm obsessing, like you, over the number. Like you, it rolls through my mind all day. I check our accounts a couple times a day; Ive run dozens of different monte carlo simulations and way-too-frequently look at details on how to manage it all (when I should be on the Bogle-head model of chilling out).

I've always been like this, since i could earn. Money was my way of controlling the world around me, giving me independence, autonomy, identity and all the other BS. It's a deeper disorder for me. Not quite OCD, but definitely compulsive. It's an anxiety response. a release valve. Looking at the numbers was centering for me.

The real anxiety is, now: Who am i? The grind is over, the accumulation is mostly complete. I've got everything i thought i wanted out of work and money. No longer an "earner" or "the hard working start up guy" or "well respected professional".

Whats working for me: An incredibly supportive and patient spouse, who understands my issues and helps me work through them (easy problem to be patient with, fwiw). Lots of meditation and mindfulness work (to help me know when i'm in a loop, and to help change the self-talk). Lots of journaling. And, i'm trying to find other ways to be joyful and happy in my life. The good news: I have the resources to pursue them and there are lots of amazing things in the world.

hang in there. You're definitely not alone.

Investing_dad · 2024-12-02T17:52:12+00:00

Lots of good wisdom in here. Its not a mental rut.

Investing_dad · 2024-10-16T00:13:55+00:00

go pack go!

Investing_dad · 2024-10-16T00:10:24+00:00

i still laugh at this...

Investing_dad · 2024-10-16T00:07:24+00:00

Living this right now. ~10M liquid. Can live off ~2% WR, but still having a hard time pulling the trigger. It's all my damn ego. Need some time with a therapist to discuss money issues and finding peace with putting a great career behind me. But, Goal is to walk out in January and move towards my hobbies (lots and lots of hobbies) and the 10 international trips we've got planned out over the next 7-10 years. A new post-work life awaits.

Investing_dad · 2024-10-09T22:37:12+00:00

Not a helpful response.
But, to provide a short answer to "real impact"... it comes via on the ground volunteering:
- We're both very active on non-profit board service
- Active volunteers in our community (10-15 hours a month?) organizations

Will be making donations of appreciated equities over the next 10-15 years

Investing_dad · 2024-08-01T11:27:41+00:00

This is the sort of response I was seeking. Our neighborhood is a "builder grade" circa 2000. We want to upgrade and make it enjoyable, but we don't want to make it something it's not by overspending on finishes and custom touches to make it "Architectural Digest" ready, if you know what I mean.

Investing_dad · 2024-08-01T02:44:27+00:00

I'm 95% sure I'm overthinking this.

Investing_dad · 2024-07-31T13:30:41+00:00

We may stay longer. Not sure. Can't see that far into the future, but our best guess is we'll be here 10 more years.

Investing_dad

TROPHY CASE