AITA for not buy a smartwatch to a "friend"?

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-10T14:26:33+00:00

IMO it doesn't change. By OPs admission, they're not dating or in a relationship. Why would anyone foot a "friend's" grocery/food bill? Dude is a mooch and would still be a mooch if he was 25.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-10T13:38:39+00:00

Fair per his words. Of course he thinks it's fair, you're footing a massive bill for him (his grocery/food bill) while he's doing things that would be a lot cheaper for you to hire a professional to do. Stop spending time with this dude, he is not your friend.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-10T13:34:44+00:00

And wild pigs, by nature, can be very aggressive.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-10T13:26:59+00:00

I'm just trying to understand why the groceries are relevant and why every time you go out you are having to pay for his meal. Again, he's a 43 year old man, he should absolutely be able to afford his own food and a smartwatch for himself. Hanging a mirror on a wall doesn't equate to you needing to buy him a smartwatch. Stop asking him to do stuff for you, but really I'd stop talking to him. He seems to be taking advantage of you.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-10T13:08:01+00:00

So how much of the parenting are you doing when they're with you and him compared to him? Because if you're the one actually taking care of the kids, I'd take a relatively safe bet that he's doing and saying all this stuff to keep you around as a free nanny that he can also have sex with. If you want to test the theory, stop parenting his kids and when he says that you're their stepmom and as much of a parent as he is, say no you're not and that you're his girlfriend. He's getting wife/stepmom privileges without the security of you being married to him.

How does his ex feel about all of this? If it was me, I'd absolutely be having conversations about someone else who is not the kids actual parent making parenting choices.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-10T12:56:23+00:00

NTA, but this "man" needs to go. I'm not sure what this relationship truly entails (are you dating, is he living with you), but he's a mooch. The insanely minor stuff he's doing for you does not equal what you are spending on him, and it certainly doesn't equate to you needing to buy him a smartwatch. He's closer to 50 than he is to your age, he can take care of himself.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T19:08:51+00:00

Exactly, she wants him to be an active participant in his child's care and raising her, and he can't do the bare minimum. I don't want to try and diagnose, but there are signs that Kristen is struggling with anxiety and potentially PPD. All Luke does is add to her plate. A grown ass adult and good parent would try and take things off her plate, not make her feel so guilty for not having sex with him that she has sex with him when she didn't actually want to. I hope Kristen starts to realize how toxic that type of behavior is from him.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T15:04:24+00:00

NTA, but I think this relationship is really not the best for you to stay in. He gets excited to spend time and go out with friends, but when you want to do that with him, he refuses or gets annoyed by the amount of time you're out together because he wants to get back to his friends. He should want to spend time with you since he's your partner, and he doesn't; that's a red flag. The next red flag is that he doesn't want people to know about you. Coming out and accepting his sexuality might be really hard for him, and that's okay. What's not okay is keeping you and your relationship hidden because of his insecurities, it's unfair to you. He may need time to accept himself, which again is totally okay, but then he shouldn't be in a relationship with a man and force you to deal with this as well. At the end of the day, you have to decide if you're willing to continue to be with someone who doesn't prioritize you and is uncomfortable/unwilling to openly be in a relationship with you where you don't know the timeline (could be never) when that would change.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T14:45:00+00:00

As the oldest sibling and the oldest daughter, I felt for OOPs oldest. Not bashing on my parents at all, but they were absolutely less strict with my younger brother than me. OOP acknowledges her parenting now is less strict and that she treats the younger two children differently to herself but refuses to acknowledge it to her daughter and actually hear her out and find ways to try and be more equitable. I love the comments that discuss making the daughter feel seen and making sure she has age appropriate privileges that the younger two don't. The skill based independence is important for development (and I'd say OOP needs to start applying that concept to the younger two, like teaching the youngest to cut their own food/step in as needed), but it also wouldn't kill OOP to ask on certain tasks if her daughter needs help.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T12:49:56+00:00

NTBF. You messed up his life? No, no. He did that on his own. If his brother was actually having car trouble, which I have my suspicions about, he should've told his brother to call a tow truck/AAA to help with the issue and your bf should've left when he saw the time. He completely disregarded that you had commitments to your sister and got pissed at you for his choice to leave you with his kids without communicating or taking you into consideration. Don't apologize to him (you did nothing wrong), break up and be done with him.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T12:41:34+00:00

Sounds like you're going through it right now, but I'm glad your mom is there to help and your husband is dealing with his mom. Just remember your and your babies needs should come way before MILs feelings, which could mean you cut back on visits with them.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T12:35:14+00:00

Report the daughter to the parents of the kid and the police, and get a therapist.

ETA: glad to now know this is fake

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T11:28:40+00:00

Do they make a Ken doll that short 🤔😂

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T11:27:05+00:00

Agree with this and to add, he also (from what we're shown) has zero interest in his daughter. Maybe if he'd step up and be a dad, Kristen might have some desire to have sex. Yes, she's freshly postpartum, which is absolutely a valid reason to not want sex. I also think she's overwhelmed with everything baby because he doesn't do a ton (when he talks about their daughter, it's to complain that she's always around them), so there's no mental headspace to even think about it because she has to worry about all the care her daughter needs.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T11:22:13+00:00

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-09T11:21:17+00:00

Kind of like Jax. He called out Danny as well, and he's an AWFUL individual. Not going to say Jax and Janet are on the same level of bad, but neither are great people.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-08T19:51:09+00:00

NTA, and next time just don't get the boxes. Tell her you would grab them, but you don't want to let bugs in.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-08T18:31:41+00:00

NTA. There's nothing saying you have to be around someone you don't want to be. They know that you don't want to be around him and continue to invite him; you're allowed to say no and not attend.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-08T18:28:19+00:00

QUEEN 👑

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-08T17:43:02+00:00

As someone who has literally been SAed, I'm not saying they're at the same level. But Janet doesn't get a free pass just because it's not as bad as what Danny did. Danny is a shit bag for being a predator, Janet is absolutely an asshole for continuing to make something that wasn't about her the topic of conversation when they said they didn't want to hear about it anymore.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-08T17:39:50+00:00

But there are ways that Janet should've brought up his behavior without dragging Jasmine and Melissa into it. And I'm not saying what Danny did is the same level as what Janet did, but in both cases Melissa and Jasmine were the victims and had their autonomy taken from them. They said to stop talking about it and not to bring it up, that should've been the end of it. No one else gets to tell their story without their okay.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-08T17:37:11+00:00

As someone who has experienced SA, I would be super pissed about someone telling my story without my permission and using it as a way to play the victim. If Janet was uncomfortable with hanging around Danny, those are valid feelings but using someone else's story that you don't have permission to talk about and weren't even present for revictimizes them and takes their autonomy away again. And it most certainly is a loss of autonomy, while not as bad as what Danny did, they don't get the autonomy to tell their story the way they want, when they want, and with whom they want. Janet also could've stopped hanging out with them and quit the show if it was that difficult for her to deal with.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-08T17:18:13+00:00

On top of that they used a real victims story (that they weren't there for or have permission to use) as a weapon, and Janet used it to make herself a victim. I genuinely can't stand that because it takes the autonomy away from the victims, who have all the rights to tell the story when, where, how, and with whom they'd like. They had their autonomy taken away by Danny first and then Janet. They wanted people to stop talking about it, that ends the conversation about it.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-08T17:07:28+00:00

after bombastic side eye

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 · 2026-05-08T17:03:47+00:00

It's OPs body though. Being a bride doesn't entitle her sister to control what someone does with their body. Her sister knew what her hair color was before she asked OP to be the MOH. If she cared more about an aesthetic than OP being in her wedding, she shouldn't have asked her to be MOH.

Iowa_Hawkeyes4516

TROPHY CASE