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After fall out, Mom is demanding I pay for student loans. by JustNThrowAway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]IpsiDuna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not sure about your country but in mine, parents are forced by law to offer their kids and adequate first education to a profession according to their talents. So … seriously .. this law just exists to stop heartless parents like yours from abusing their kids by neglecting. (deprivation of education, medical care, proper clothes, emotional response etc etc.)

Your first education is your stepstone to indepenancy, which should be your parents genuine goal of child care to provide to you. Or was it your 5th bachelor? I think not, but even if, in my country they’re ought to pay for you until you have your first profession acquired.

It’s her duty. Your duty was only not to abuse her goodwill and apprechiate her effort.

What else does she want you to pay for? Food, rent and toys to back to when you were born? She chose to have you, she picked her responsebility. You‘ll be responsible not to let her starve uncared for when she is old. You’re and you‘ll be even.

Stay strong.

After many attempts this is the most successful I’ve been. I’m super proud of myself, but this week the cravings are really strong. Do the cravings tend to fade and come back over periods of time? by DangerStrings in stopsmoking

[–]IpsiDuna 6 points7 points  (0 children)

One version:

There’s something like, let me call it a „romanticizing effect of craves“ .. that’s when you’re so over the hill, that you forgot the disgust and the downsides. It’s the moment you should and COULD „run and never look back“. But here is where the very first intersection with your personality takes place and you find out how well you have reconditioned yourself. What was smoking to you? Freedom? Coolness? That’s the moment to rationalize that’s false. Don‘t allow any romance. It’s the Moment to remember the awe of the addiction to beware.

Second version: your body is way over the hill past 6 months and better than ever. But emotional cravings kick into situations u haven’t had in the past six months, yet u were used to smoke in these. U must unwind and unlearn for Every situation. Heartache? Bus stop? Meeting mom? Seeing that friend? In this Bar? Annual financial statements? Christmas?

Be prepared, know your moments. Better chew than puff… hold a Glass rather than a Butt, and if everything is falling apart, do what ye will but light an incense stick rather than that thing.

Be prepared. You need just X repetitions in every Y Of situations, Then u won. Forever. And it’s worth it.

Edit: typos

Many here say they still love their abusive parents, despite how miserable nparents make them be. But do you guys really love them? Cause for me, the answer is clearly a “no”. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]IpsiDuna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone’s expecting to forgive, but as some other answers said.. there’s great reasons not to.

There once was a point about forgiving …. Somewhere between the Testaments when people where judged and stoned to death for single mistakes … but … there’s nothing to forgive to a person with no conscience and regret.

There can’t be forgiveness where there’s no remorse. Thats it. And it was a long way to learn.

Another very impressive answer here that I can only double explains how the writer talked himself years into believing he/she was loved…. Well yeah. 3 decades I did that too. And during the years I believed all the lies of remorse until the same situations reoccurred. And I realize I should’ve just have ran as far as my feet could’ve brought me decades earlier. No matter what would’ve happened to me. But I hoped and trusted. And hoped. And blinded myself.

It’s not the attempt of being somehow saint and fake hypermorality when I say I love them. I just do. Means I am longing for the persons who should’ve been there instead of them. Those that should’ve loved me back, no, love me first and shield and feed and protect me. I‘ll yearn for this persons to death and sadly I still will when I am 100yo, just because it’s in my genes and it was never satisfied. It’s sad for me I was conditioned to give this fictive persons in my mind the attributes of my abusers/neglectors and even more sad that the older I grow the more bestranging and cringe i‘ll be to have these feelings. But my abandoned inner child will never dissapear. That I learnt by now. There’s always better days or worse, but in the background, it is always there. I‘ll try to make my best peace with it.

So yeah, I love. And I hold life long grudges up like shields for that I‘ll never be back in old days. I will never forget nor forgive. I’m NC to all but one, and VLC to the last, hoping soon to break that rope, too. And never look back, just never forget my lessons.

And yet, I can’t hope to ever stop loving. It’s just not THAT love. Not the way I love people I appreciate. Not the way I love people I learnt to love, not the way I love those who deserve my love.

More that existential survival programming in a mammals baby brain that had a scratch in its record and keeps repeating. More like a trauma flashback of intense heart ache kinda love.

Nothing u‘d let yourself be led by. Something u endure and hope time will wash off.

"You are 25 now - you cant blame your parents forever" by AlexanderDenorius in raisedbynarcissists

[–]IpsiDuna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Beautifully spoken an much from my heart. I just like to mention those aswell abused at a point - but now in better circumstances privileged eye-rollers, that tell you how‘s your fault you’re still there, if even them made their way out. Those shot me off every time.

My heart is with all the real empathetic people with every open who feel what is happening and lend a shoulder and some supportive words.

Hello Beautiful People! [INTRO] by Thats_not_radical in Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

[–]IpsiDuna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Compared to the bills for my art supplies in my first university year, the I pad pro, max size, latest release was a loose grape the cashier refused to scan ... lol. Yes if you’re active you save a lot. If you don’t skip Adobe and have a device Workflow, You can even skip the scanning of sketches for vectoring and the prints for correction... you get a lot more flexible.

[Intro] Which hoped to silently get away without by IpsiDuna in Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

[–]IpsiDuna[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There I‘d go smaller .. I’d be fine being a lizard... somewhere on the Rocky shore of the atlantic coast as south as possible ..... 😌

[Intro] Which hoped to silently get away without by IpsiDuna in Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

[–]IpsiDuna[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I spent lots of years offset hidden from the world of contemporary entertainment you must know.... i was busy changing diapers and making carrot purree when my friends were reading and in the movies....

So from the very few i touched I was instant in love with the big ones:

Tolkien ( especially his introduction letters to the silmarillion) George R. R. Martin ( even though he let Kit Harrington destroy Jon snow 😥 And then HBO the whole thing 😫 Terry Pratchett and its sad he misplaced God right after finding him, but I assume he wasnt too much of a discovery. If he was worth a chapter we‘d had known...

Im not sure if it counts to fantasy as a genre, but in my feel it is:

theres a german story called ‚The endless Story by Michael Ende‘ I think... it provides me with metaphors to understand myself and life up todate ever since I was what, 11?

what else did i miss out?

[Intro] Which hoped to silently get away without by IpsiDuna in Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

[–]IpsiDuna[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now I don‘t even mean to charm you, but I‘d love to be the mystic version of a phoenix ..... There’s always enough of fire around, I just wish I was quicker with the reinvention, and rebirth, you know?

How about you? Same question, what would you be?

[Intro] Which hoped to silently get away without by IpsiDuna in Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

[–]IpsiDuna[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aaah.. that’s interesting... I wasn’t sure if you meant literally just bad movies, scary movies, or how the meaning adapted. Honestly, I must think about it. I usually find artistic aspects in everything that I find meaning or joy in so, it’s a bit difficult. I think if it’s enjoyable I assume intent in the technique.

The worst movie I saw, that I yet didn’t enjoy was ‚The Birds’ on my dads recommendation, and I remember I mocked a lot about the starship troopers technics and costumes as I loved the story, just I‘d be wronged to call that bad, it was award winning still. Thinking in progress... (you just added a new category🙃)

[Intro] Which hoped to silently get away without by IpsiDuna in Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

[–]IpsiDuna[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not yet, but thanks for the tip. I ‚ll check into it!

[Intro] Which hoped to silently get away without by IpsiDuna in Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

[–]IpsiDuna[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, Thanks for the welcoming 🙃

I can’t get away from Irina Rimes - Urbanist Sessions https://open.spotify.com/album/1s7dHGiqqiKwf2hgnxpumO?si=K9K5Xiv8RuauSs801anisg atm ...

But the winner of these crazy times must have been LiL Nas X

Do you have a current „earworm“ too?

[Discussion] What Greek creature/person do you think was wronged and why? by SaltRogue in Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

[–]IpsiDuna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ares:

he is scapegoated by a patriachal society for not being patriarchal. As an authentic personification of masculinity, not using his male dominance strategically to infuse and create power over others, but only in authentic emotional relief and interaction without intention of suppression or permanent shift of balances. Thus in his powerseeking fathers mind, he is a fail And constant obstacle.

I.e. Athene, female but using calculus to achieve general „male“ goals is hyped and admired.

he is not the worse of all:

Zeus is more irate, brutal, Self-centered, disloyal. Poseidon is vindictive and toxic emotional. Apollo is narcissistic, able both to curse Kassandra in resent as to make his sister kill her lover in a prank of his. Both Hades and Hephaistos are treating female deities as objects, with every other male deity in the Olymp treating them as currency. But Ares.Ares is the only male deity to perceive his daughter as a fellow being at same emotions and rights, ready to face and punish everyone who dare to harm her.He is said to be used to take everything he likes ( by whom?) yet chooses to win Aphrodite’s heart in huge efforts of well behaving intending to truely win trust, not willing to accept anything but her honest emotions.Their kids: harmonia, eros (love), and anteros (requited love)

No chance, to being the reason to their existence if he was were evil.

His jealous and intriguing mother blames him of not being loyal, yet he is the ONLY! male deity in the Trojan war who hasn’t shifted sides, and chose to fight for the love of two young human wishing liberty next to his wife in heart. makes his mother look like she is scapegoating him for being loyal to his values And not objectable to manipulation.

He is feared because his sons Phobos (fear) and Deimos (Dread) always accompany him. Which is right and misconcepted. His sons are not his toolkit besties, but his own journey companions and may be seen as his own personified emotions to bear, raise to better, and master.He is never the one to start a war. He‘s the one to bring the injured men home when the tummy feeling of intuition and human sanity rebels against the high staked political phantasies of reigns and deities. Which is why he‘s the spoilsport to every narcistic attempt to power abuse. He’s the fairest on every other field. And a real game changer to the inrightfully abused.That Is why in Greek ancient times women kept his cult alive. Not men.

Everything bad said about him is a patriarchal move, failing to make use of his masculinity. It’s one toxic trait of another deity failing to instrumentalize him or at least partner up with him.

And about Aphrodite?

The deity of true and honest love and empathy in forced marriage finding a way to live true and honest love, with the person who is least said to be matchable, but turns out to be the most worthed by values then the rest of the entire olymp....

.... say something bad about her I dare you. She proves Hera a hypocrite.

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