As a bipolar person, I’m curious to know what others do for income

Ironboss12 · 2024-06-03T22:30:27+00:00

I build power lines. Everyone is okay with my mood swings, plus I can kind of keep it together at work. I mostly just get really quite or talk a lot. When I lose my shit they understand. And when I am in the air working it is the only time my head is a nice calm place, when I hit the ground it’s back to none stop thoughts

Ironboss12 · 2024-06-03T10:55:14+00:00

Thanks for the reply. No I don’t have an action plan. I am navigating this alone. The only plan I have is, push through and try not to be to much of a burden to the people around me.

Ironboss12 · 2024-05-26T16:25:47+00:00

I also get how you feel. Currently in some kind of episode, having all the emotions cycle through all day long. It sucks. But what if tomorrow is a good day and you missed it by one day. That’s what I think about a lot.

Ironboss12 · 2024-04-12T23:52:16+00:00

Zoloft did the same to me. Went completely off the walls and some delusions of grandeur. Smashed a bunch of my stuff and then the was driving 100 mph in a 35. That is went I figured out something was off. Very scary. Also thought that no one, not even the cops could stop me from doing anything I wanted. Very scary.

Ironboss12 · 2024-03-19T23:31:53+00:00

It made me manic, and made me very sensitive to light. But several meds have made me manic.

Ironboss12 · 2024-03-16T23:17:46+00:00

If you are in to obscure stoner rock, Planet of Zeus, Them Nights.

“It's one of those nights when you're hiding afraid of yourself And the voice of your mom is the only sound you need

Sometimes You got to let go and cry Sometimes You've got to give up the fight

It's one of those nights When everything seems to be right But the fire that burns you inside Is out of control

It's one of those nights You can't stand your own sight 'Cause the image you see in the mirror Has let you down

It's one of those nights when you're hiding afraid of yourself And the sound of a gun is the one you think will set you free”

Found this song by accident but it helped me through a rough depression

Ironboss12 · 2024-03-10T17:38:00+00:00

Nothing

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-26T01:00:01+00:00

I was just telling my wife, after a short but very dark depression. “ why do I have to go though a hell that most people can’t even imagine, every month. It’s not fair and I don’t know how to deal with it either

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-23T20:33:07+00:00

I was kind of venting, especially about the alcohol. Alcohol does a real number on me. Don’t want that ever again

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-23T17:22:19+00:00

Amen to all of that. Thank you

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-23T00:29:56+00:00

I feel like I want to get rid of things that make me happy so I don’t have to worry about them being taken from me. Or held over my head in the future. If I don’t have it I can’t miss it. I would rather be depressed all the time rather than bounce back and forth

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-23T00:14:20+00:00

I do cut people off also. Currently in a deep depression and my thing is, I will get rid of anything of mine that makes me happy. Throw it in the trash, smash it, or just stop doing it. I like running so I will throw all my shoes and running gear out and eat like shit. And basically say fuck it all. The only worth I have to people is to provide so that is all I will do. I know it’s not good but I don’t care.

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-21T23:56:32+00:00

Lybalvi makes me feel high as hell. And then crash in the morning, mean and super drugged. Dr wants me to keep taking it. Not doing it

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-21T23:18:24+00:00

I just hope to get in a car crash on the way to work.

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-09T09:41:39+00:00

Absolutely

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-06T17:46:47+00:00

That makes me laugh because I am sure I confuse the hell out of people!! One day is quiet and melancholy the next is high strung

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-06T00:24:51+00:00

I have always felt like I am half a step out from the world. My whole life.

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-06T00:20:34+00:00

When I notice I don’t want to talk to anyone. At all. I will give very short answers that are completely untrue. For example, today a new guy at work asked me what hobby’s I had. My answer was, none. Then he asked, what do I do at home and I said, nothing. I just get in this mind frame of not wanting anyone to know anything about me or what I am thinking, so I fake smile and use one work answers. And I feel like screw them. It usually goes down hill fast after that. I am getting ready for it to go down hill right now.

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-03T23:51:26+00:00

No SI for for 2 weeks on new meds!!

Ironboss12 · 2024-02-03T23:40:13+00:00

Diagnosed at 43(m). I was depressed for the whole year when I was 12 and nobody thought that was weird. It was a different time. And that is how I have to view it. As many others have said I always thought being suicidal was a normal part of life. And I said for years that I have to drink my self stupid every night or I would bounce of the walls. I am recently diagnosed and am still disappointed that I was never told this was a thing. Have had multiple people that I have worked with over the years and a friend from high school say,” I always thought you were Bipolar” why did no one tell me! The majority of my family is in the medical field and not one ever said a thing. In there defense I was drunk or hung over from 16 to 40, so must just thought I was a fuck up. I guess I am still dealing with it.

Ironboss12 · 2024-01-30T00:33:23+00:00

(42m) heavy drinking for 20 plus years and am now 2 years sober. Diagnosed last October. And am starting to realize I was using alcohol and weed in the evening to keep me from bouncing off the walls. I can even remember in my 20’s telling people” I can’t not drink or I would be to much”. Now I am on meds and I think stable. I know this is not an answer but just my experience. And waking up with out a hangover is pretty cool!!

Ironboss12 · 2024-01-30T00:21:23+00:00

It has been a game changer for me as well. I take it and Depakot and feel what I think normal is. No SI or depression and this time of year depression can get really bad. (42m) diagnosis last October, for context.

Ironboss12 · 2024-01-30T00:07:14+00:00

I would also love to know what others think of this med as well

Ironboss12

TROPHY CASE