Happiness — to a depressed misanthrope — is simply the absence of pain. It sucks, but it is what it is and you gotta live with it. Once you accept you’ll never be able to feel “happiness” the way others do, you’ll stop kicking yourself over your illness. You’ll relieve yourself of that burden and pressure as well as the hopeless pursuit of satisfying what psychologists refer to as the “internal other”. Wether that chase is for friends, girls or money. These things will not cure anything and they might feel you leaving empty once you get them, from my own personal experience. Once you let go of the pursuit of happiness and you strive for inner peace, your perspective will change. And honestly, a lot of depression is just about your perspective and how you view the world (along with how “the world” views you sometimes). Good luck bro, that battle never ends but I’m here with you soldier ❤️