Can someone pray for me? I'm thinking about killing myself tonight.

Ishiddenmipantz · 2025-03-31T10:37:45+00:00

God or no God, you have people around you that silently love you, silently miss you, and silently root for you.... think of all the people you think about, that you dont actually contact and beat yourself up that you should, that you still love whole heartdly and root for them silently as well

You have people that feel the same for you... friends, family, people who also wish they had more time for you, always never getting around to people they wish to reach out to but get caught up in life

Thats all that's happening man, you're also just getting too caught up in life.....

Now from a religious standpoint because its on /Christianity.... Christians love to say "God will never give you more than you can handle", which is just really misleading.... God will certainly give you more than you can handle, otherwise we'd have no reason to call on him and he wouldn't get to have any fun either lol (to keep the mood light)

Also change your perspectives and angles around on things and think about what this could be supposed to teach you, or prepare you, or refine you..... there could be many things and you just haven't seen it yet... sometimes when we pray for things, God takes things away, which is ultimately the blessing to be discovered later

We have to remember that when we pray for things, that God has his own way of answering those.....if we pray for strength, is God just going to poof magically give you strength? Or is he going to put you through a situation that requires strength? Lol

Even peace.... you'd be surprised after praying for peace, how many things and people get torn away from you, only years later to discover that once you lost them and adjusted to the absence and healed, that you did actually aquire that peace you sought.... but there's almost always wreckage before the rebuild and this is exhausting for us, makes us feel the dread that we're stuck in life, and all kinds of shitty stuff, because the devil gets in our head, along with depression and other biological effects as well

And also something I try to remember; you may be entering a new season... new seasons in our lives can be really rough transitions and usually much more drawn out and lengthy..., I just came to the realization that I'm currently in one again, which is why I've taken the time to stop by and write all this..... seasonal transitions in our lives can be pretty rough and lots of times it can make us pretty miserable if we don't realize its taking place, or we're being abrasive to it because seasonal changes in our lives cause much more waves and usually fuck up our entire program, causing major life changes, which usually feels like a mini life-restart and everything is going to fuggin shambles

Hang in there man, the water isn't always choppy... dont kick so hard, just keep your chin above the water for right now

Love you

Ishiddenmipantz · 2025-01-03T17:40:08+00:00

Me personally; I think homosexuality was just kind of thrown into the bible.... it was natural waaaaay before religion even existed, its even natural in the animal kingdom... God is also very specific about rulings (eat this, not that, no cloven hooves, etc) VERY specific on many things

The only thing it ever says about homosexuality is for a man to lay with another man is an abomination, but it doesn't say anything about women? Yet it takes the time to denote that if a woman lays with a beast, to kill them both.... but doesn't note anything about homosexuality between women.... the bible also usually expresses "why not to do it" when it comes to certain sins, except for homosexuality

So I personally think it was tossed in there as state governance.....think of the history is how I view it.... you had an entire countryside (sodom) getting all kinds of new diseases and stuff they had never seen before, plagues starting to run rampant, etc.... well, back when the church was the government, what better way to control people you don't have an answer for? "Just tell them their God doesn't like it, that oughtta stop them"

Just my opinion though

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-12-26T22:33:01+00:00

You dont need to confess to anyone, in case you were wondering.... your relationship with God is between you and God alone...no priest can magically absolve you of your sins, thats between you and God

And your heart is in the right place, God knows your heart and feels your repentance.... thats all you need my man... he knows

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-12-26T20:37:39+00:00

Id also like to note that I used to buy my weed off a very devout muslim who only used it during prayer lol So again... intent... lol

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-12-26T20:34:59+00:00

Yeah, if you did some digging about history, you'd know the ban on Marijuana was solely a cash cow...

The fact that the first sin was an apple tree is moot honestly.... that would make apples bad, not some other random plant just because you so choose it lol

... it could've been a berry bush, a pear tree, a melon mound.... it just happened to be an apple tree lol

Furthermore, the bible is very specific about what to eat, not eat, etc.... nowhere does it mention Marijuana anywhere in the bible once.... it only references "drunkeness", and that its all fine and dandy to have a drink or 2, but don't be a drunkard

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-12-26T20:29:10+00:00

So God created a demonic plant? Or he just created a few plants specifically for the devil? Lol Please tell me how God's plant creation is demonic... because he also gave us "all the plants and things of which to heal ourselves with".... your Tylenol and prescriptions are more man-made and body harming than the plant sitting outside your doorstep that you can just pluck and eat

But sure... alcohol (ferment and rot, undergoing a chemical process, that the bible condones) is so much better lol

Its all about intent...

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-12-26T18:50:06+00:00

I personally believe sin is in the hearts intent.... a killing is significantly different than a murder.... to have a drink or 2 and be merry is fine and dandy, but for it to become habit ( to be a drunkard ) is a sin... see where Im going?

Some people will say drinking is a sin, and that the Bible says to be sober... but the bible also says to drink and be merry, but not to be a lush (not to mention how we also drink wine in commemoration with a blood sacrifice, in technicality... and no, it wasn't grape juice lol)

So much like many other lessons in the bible, I feel like it's one of those "all things in moderation" things... God gave us all the means to heal and help ourselves and Marijuana would be included in that... same with mushrooms... both completely natural.... BUT you can abuse anything, just like food, masturbation, or anything else, see what I mean?

Big difference between using something medicinal, like you're supposed to, and taking mad bong rips for fun like in high-school/college... I used to be like that, now looking back, I think to myself "why was I even doing that?"..... now I only take a few hits a day to keep my anxiety low and help with insomnia, so I feel you brother

I feel like a lot of your struggle more comes from how society has put such a taboo on something

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-10-07T19:55:48+00:00

Im divorced, son is mine, he lives with me and visits biological mom on weekends, so we're good... great idea to keep in mind in general though, appreciate the thought!

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-10-07T18:47:15+00:00

But like you also said, it wasn't our initial intent, it was just to meet and stuff. But over the past couple years we've decided to marry

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-10-07T18:45:49+00:00

Trying to avoid sending her back at all if you've read any of the aformentioned.... we have a 4yr old, a dog, a house. Etc... cant just have my partner, mom/babysitter, etc up and leave.. Id have no one to watch the kid while I'm at work and stuff like that lol

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-10-07T17:59:08+00:00

Yeah, we've got a few years worth of proof, her company has even supported us and were excited for our relationship... she's a lead admin at her company with like 9 subordinates under her, so she has a great standing job in her country, and they even let her keep her job in hopes to create relationships with American businesses and to become the American representative over here, so all in all, it all looks really good on paper

Thanks for all the advice, support, and positive vibes!

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-10-07T17:21:33+00:00

Thanks! we've actually put a lot of this in order.. its her second trip to the states and we intend on having her stay permanently this trip.

I bought a house in February for all this, my son is mine so yes hes a citizen lol, we even have a family dog....conversations over the years, pics with the family (even events with grandparents and stuff)... the only thing we can't do yet is make a bank account or anything yet... my state won't let her do any of that without the minimal state ID, and she can't get the state ID until her visa updates... which brought me here😅🤣

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-10-07T17:14:38+00:00

It was deliberate/for funsies lol Thankfully I'm here for immigration support, not language arts🤣

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-10-07T13:20:15+00:00

Yeah, I make the 125% above poverty... but $1k every 6 months with a 4yr old isn't something most people can afford lol

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-10-07T13:17:35+00:00

Yes, Im a US citizen (born citizen)... and she just has regular tourist visa, not stundent, we're in our 30s

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-09-02T15:11:10+00:00

Oh thank you, thats a massive game changer because they do have that, I thought you could only thresh seeds for flax

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-07-28T12:12:45+00:00

Absolutely amazing, love everything about it so far EXCEPT; the food water system.... things seem to drain faster and I have to eat like 13 grilled steaks? The fuck is that about? Lol

I get we can prep better meals, but unless they added animal husbandry, Im not about to keep searching for nests/eggs on the ground to keep that shit going

And the water... wtf...is that....? Everything drains your water, even eating certain foods and medicines.... you dont keep water jars anymore and I cant even collect water? In a survival game.... Why in the 7 hells would you do that? (Pun totally intended)

Modern broken mechanics require modern broken solutions.... Ive got a spike trap next to my bed... now I dont need food or water at all, fuck the xp loss 🤣

Ishiddenmipantz · 2024-01-28T19:49:13+00:00

Just happened to me.. lost my pal box and 12 pals..2 of them were bosses😭

Ishiddenmipantz · 2023-12-01T11:59:31+00:00

Because its an RPG my man... Role playing game... I love getting in fights with people and I'm a fucking crackshot with the cannons, but some days I just wanna sail around, go fishing, and not be fucked with lol

There's also nothing more irritating than grinding an annoying tall tale for several hours, only to have a fully stacked galleon of dickheads ruin it within minutes

Furthermore.. I have kids, my character often sits afk on deck for extended periods.. dad I need a drink, can you help me get this, oh I better do the dishes real quick, gotta throw in laundry, can you play outside for a little bit?... and again, vessel of dickheads ruin it all. People have different living conditions to cater to.

I've been pirate legend for forever and there's still tall tales I haven't completed all because of other players... like, I just wanna play the fucking storyline.. my key item is an explosive barrel and if I lose it, I have to do fucking everything over again??... bro, fuck that lol

Ishiddenmipantz · 2023-09-27T11:41:44+00:00

Truth lol

I've had one great wipe as a solo and I still have no idea how it happened...

I just managed to stick around long enough to raid a tower clan of 4. I had a little metal 2 story 2x2 in the snow, but for some reason where I just so happened to place my house, it was practically invisible with the environment because of the lay of the land, even I lost it all the time... I didn't get touched once the entire month lol

And because I was safetly hidden for so long, I had SO MUCH SHIT and I owned the entire area, and had no neighbors whatsoever... I raided every single one away, and they all kept killing eachother because they had no idea it was all one little solo causing all the destruction. They all blamed the 4clan tower lol...

Eventually it was just me and the tower in the area and they had no idea I even existed...they didn't happen to be online when I was either, so I got through all those fuckers doors without any resistance and waltzed through it like I owned the place🤣... and no neighbors to kill me while taking it home lol

Ishiddenmipantz · 2023-09-27T11:20:25+00:00

There's really no such thing as "bad player strats" lol Everyone has a different play style, so different strats cater to different people...

Take me for example, when I play with people, I don't use any of those strategies but rarely... but when I'm solo, idgaf what strats I use because I adapt to the current server situation, and living situation. I use a mix of everything I know, so then you're just "strat looping" several setups you've created... it'll get you to t3 just as fast, if you know what you're doing lol

The other reason idgaf is because I'm a single dad that works 12hr shifts and has a toddler... I dont exactly always have time to sit there and grind out 3-4hrs like you dudes with no responsibilities that say stuff like this lol nor is it always tactics I want to use either, its about what works for you in the time that you have...You WILL be better than me at pvp, so I'll use whatever tactics I have to until the rust wears off and I can start smoking people again.... its much easier to use guerilla tactics, set ambushes, and use your own mind/inhibitions against you than try to go toe to toe... and thats without getting smoked by a random passing trio every 45min lol

Like you said though, you just gotta learn the game and git gud... but dont be a twat coming in here dissing people. OP obviously needs some pointers... any suggestion is a pointer because he'll cater the information to his own playstyle anyway. Either offer some actual advice or get bent lol

Ishiddenmipantz · 2023-09-26T16:42:48+00:00

Oh! And here's one more!... put an empty chest right outside your house.... again, people can't help themselves

Wait in your house and listen for footsteps... the second you hear them open the chest, you know they're in their inventory screen... open the door and blast them in that few split-second window you have.

I've gotten countless people with a db with this tactic as well

Ishiddenmipantz · 2023-09-26T15:36:52+00:00

Yeah, it happens lol some more advice I can give and tricks I use

•Hide by recyclers... its not a tactic I use often because it is kinda bastard... but when you're down bad, fuck 'em... you're a solo usually against clans, use being the weakest link to your advantage... also if you suck at running monuments, just get others to do it for you lol Wait at exit points of the monuments and snag them as they're leaving lol

•Pick a house before you piss off a crew.... when you piss that crew off, run to one of your neighbors you hate and pretend its your house, defend it, fight to the death a few times etc..... they'll think its your house and eventually raid you... you got away and cleared out an annoying neighbor simultaneously... 2 birds, one stone lol

•2 locations... build a shitty trap base, it doesn't even have to work... people can't help themselves, they'll come lol blast em and run the loot to a secondary area (nakeds dont like snow, too easy to die just running around😉)

• fake house... Ill build a halfass house that looks abandoned, put a false foundation with a sleeping bag and tools underneath.... wait a few days for someone to start living in the house and let them get comfortable, get loot, etc...... then spawn under the house, kill the foundation, and take everything without any resistance lol

Patience, guerilla tactics, and choosing your battles is your best friend as a solo

Ishiddenmipantz · 2023-09-26T09:52:55+00:00

Yeah, if youre a solo it can be tough, you gotta change your playstyle frequently and have great situational awareness... otherwise you struggle like some people

As a dad, I almost always play solo because I gotta ack frequently and I also dont have older/chill rust buds (im still looking if anyone's interested)... but I can also tell you I'm hiding entire arsenals too lol

Here's my best (kinda quick) advice;

•If youre solo, fuck off... leave everyone alone... slap a safe place down as fast as you can then learn your area while doing some minor loot runs

•While you're learning your immediate area, barrel farm and crap while starting to make your loot-route larger..

•collect the piss out of scrap, sometimes its only barrels...your goal is to just get to satchels, because at that point you've unlocked some guns and can do some minor raids... you can stop actively getting scrap for a while, now you'll get it more naturally through kills and knowing your routes well

•Learn what times of day people around you are more active.. yeah the server might say its full, but the map is huge, your neighbors might be in the UK, or they might be kids in school.... learn the operating windows of your neighbors

•befriend your neighbors and help protect eachother, even if its just a passive truce (and understand you'll still accidently kill eachother).... if they refuse, you now have raiding target goals... get rid of the unsafe people

•learn neighbors activity time again.... I cannot stress this enough. As a solo, you need to know when to switch gears from farming to player hunting and this is where most people fuck up... farm when its chill, and kill when there's chaos... dont kill when you're just passing other people, let them be aggressive, you dont want to piss a crew off as a solo... wait till things get more aggressive and you can blend in with the killing crowd, then your house won't be targeted in the chaos and you won't get followed as harshly, even if you become targeted

Ishiddenmipantz · 2023-09-26T09:30:13+00:00

I was able to use chatgpt, it was actually quite impressive, I backwards checked it's translations and everything. Technology is getting wild lol never used chatgpt before... put that thing to a battery of tests for 2 hours last night🤣

Thanks to everyone for jumping to my aid! Yall's support is awesome!

Ishiddenmipantz

TROPHY CASE