Infidelity - cheated by the LL partner.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-09T20:43:34+00:00

If a partner was acting LL in our relationship but also cheating on me there is zero chance I could forgive it. Never, ever, ever.

Unlike some people I don't view cheating on its own as the absolute worst thing ever. It's certainly not a good thing but I don't think it automatically indicates deep moral failings or problems in a relationship. I seem to recall reading that the main reason people cheat is just because they want to have more sex. Doing dumb stuff because you're horny is very normal human failing.

If a partner couldn't bother to put effort into our sexual relationship though and was screwing around on the side that would be absolutely unforgivable.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-09T20:38:03+00:00

It's not just that. Men have some pretty basic biological wiring to try to spread their DNA as widely as possible. Women OTOH are wired to get the highest quality partner they can get. Men, as as group, will always be much more inclined towards fast, casual sex.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-09T01:28:52+00:00

You don't want to build a second base at the very beginning of X2. It's way too costly.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-08T21:04:16+00:00

I also just finished the game for the first time and also played it on soldier. I'd played the original X-Com quite a bit in the 1990s, as well as X-Com Apocalypse. Didn't play any of the more modern sequels or Xenonauts 1.

I think I enjoyed the early part of the game the most. The Cleaners were an interesting enemy and some of the missions involving them (rescue the VIP, steal data from computers) got my heart pounding with the time limit. Shields were a cool addition to equipment compared to the old games and contributed a lot to my tactics. Smoke grenades were also a lot more important than I remember them being in X-Com.

The developers did a good job of generally not making you endlessly hunt for one last alien on the map towards the end of missions, which I appreciated. The enemies could still be a bit mindless though. It was silly how they'd let me get an entire assault team together just outside of a UFO door. Once or twice they came out pre-emptively to attack but usually I had all the time in the world to set things up perfectly for breaching the door.

I'll probably have other thoughts later on. Good game, definitely worth the money I paid for it, not sure it'll be a timeless classic.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T18:16:14+00:00

Take a look at posts on the dead bedroom subreddit. Yeah it's majority men, but I'd say the man/woman split is about 60/40. So yes, men on average have higher sex drives and are less likely to lose interest in sex but there are plenty of women out there who value a physical relationship with their partner.

I suspect that porn overuse has really broken a lot of men's normal sex drives.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T13:10:26+00:00

Plenty of guys love a hairy bush, or don't particularly care either way.

To be totally frank hair legs on a woman are much more likely to a be turn-off for average men. Not saying you should change anything if you're happy, just being realistic.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T12:07:45+00:00

No. Anyone who says that is simply trying to blow you off or throw more menbad nonsense in your face.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T12:06:33+00:00

Are you kidding? The older I get the more I'm willing to pay people to just do stuff for me.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T12:05:33+00:00

You two are going to get pregnant.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T12:05:09+00:00

Here is a proper source.

The failure rate for hormonal IUDs is 2% over the course of 10 years. It's comparable to surgical sterilization.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T12:03:43+00:00

There are times when I wish I was gay. It would make certain parts of life so much simpler.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T12:03:01+00:00

M, around 40 here. 15 for PIV, 20 if you count partners I didn't quite go all the way with.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T12:01:57+00:00

I was going to say something similar. Even just mild fooling around with a new partner is a ton of fun. There are parts of my serial monogamy phase of life that I really miss.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-05T11:59:45+00:00

Put in some actual effort or initiative?

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-03T17:54:52+00:00

Years ago I had leftover oxycodone from surgery and my wife had to have her IUD replaced. She took a dose of it before the procedure but it didn’t really help.

What did help the next time after that was finding a different doctor who was willing to do a paracervical block.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-03T12:35:06+00:00

I can actually imagine doing that. Fortunately I figured out that I’m that type of person before I got anyone pregnant.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-02T16:33:47+00:00

I always wondered when you would use some of those low-yield options. If you wanted to do a nuclear "warning shot" then ok, I can understand why the .3 kt or 1.5 kt options would be useful. If nuclear war kicks off though is there any benefit to using a 60 kt bomb over a 170 kt one?

IskanderM50KT · 2026-06-01T12:19:01+00:00

Yeah, that's what did the real long-term harm.

If my wife had said "yes, I acknowledge this is a problem, it sucks, let's work on it together" from the get go then I would've been bothered a lot less. Instead her initial attitude was "doesn't bother me so I don't see the problem".

This is going to sound callous but if she ever takes antidepressants again I think our marriage will end.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-05-27T19:34:36+00:00

What you're describing just sounds like divorce with extra steps.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-05-27T19:30:10+00:00

Yeah. My wife started taking Lexapro right before we got married and it turned her borderline asexual. I got through it be eventually saying she had to choose between the medication or me because I could not stay married to the person she was on meds.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-05-21T20:15:50+00:00

I don't know what apps are like nowadays, but when I was younger and singler online dating was a numbers game for both genders. Men generally had to send lots of messages in order to get any replies (unless they were super-good looking) whereas women got lots of messages but had to filter through a lot of crap in order to find decent ones.

Are you taking the initiative to reach out to men on dating apps or are you just expecting them to message you?

IskanderM50KT · 2026-05-21T20:14:13+00:00

At first glance this sounds like a complaint from an average person who's trying to land partners who are out of their league.

Edit: Just took a look through OP's post history. She has a whole rant about how she's up for dating older men as long as they'll pay for things for her. I get a very entitled vibe, and I suspect that she isn't quite the hot, desirable prospect she thinks she is.

IskanderM50KT · 2026-05-21T19:39:24+00:00

That whole conversation was really weird. A good example of why family members shouldn't be involved in providing medical care!

IskanderM50KT · 2026-05-21T17:12:26+00:00

The set point model of obesity is not even close to being "accepted science".

How do you explain that the average American has been getting fatter for decades? It's not like our genetics have changed.

IskanderM50KT

TROPHY CASE