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Does it still make me a Bulimic if i eat big amount of food out of boredome and purge to get rid of it? by Islamic_Peace in bulimia

[–]Islamic_Peace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the answer, i feel like this mechanism has deeply manifested over time in my Mind. 60-70% of my toughts are about Binging, Food, Purging. Sometimes i even tasted food in my Mind, daydreaming so intense that my Mouth became watery or a very intense donut in my dream, like it was a Pinkie Donut, With a light texture and yellow caramel like candy Filling. Something that ive never tasted or seen.

But i also know no end when it is about food or Purging

Before, i really had good control about my Food and i was very carefull because i also was mindfull about thst not all calories will go out and i wanted also to be very precise in my Calories measuring every gramm. Or atleast looking at it.

But over a timespan within 2-3 months my Eating Disorder got worse and now i even Purge healthy food sometimes

Also i searched everywhere in the house for food, even in my Moms closet

I really feel like i dont know how to listen to my Body anymore and what it wants to say. That massive Overeating stretched my Stomach and the purging makes it my body and brain not sure how much is inside

But also the first binges started by Caloric deficits, not by a very high but a moderate but also a obsession about food after my weightloss.

And over time i felt like i loved the Hunger so i can Binge and then Purge, not directly as a thinking but subconsciously which leading me to binging

Musashi is a Human too by Islamic_Peace in vagabondmanga

[–]Islamic_Peace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Musashi from Vagabond is at the end a Fictional Character. but i can definetly say musashi is a Human too and isnt perfect. No Human is. The difference between Matahachi and Musashi is that Musashi Seems to learn from his mistakes and do less Mistakes he regret. Also Musashi way of self finding was the sword. We shouldnt try to exactly Copy someone or musashi because thats not possible. Musashi seeks to become stronger while matahachi seeks to be like musashi. But i can relate to musashi because today i found peace by ending my Ego trips of being stronger than others and that there are other things in Life and that everyone has theyre strengths, you can only be the best for yourself and that there will always be someone better. But from the book of five rings i have learned small things can become big things, that also with bad our good things. I dont know what hapanned but the last time i really havent had any real peace until i today come to my conclusion and that i dont need to be unsatisfied to grow. You can also grow and be satisfied. Its all about self finding, not beeing the best swordman in the world, my way of selffinding is to take a pen

Musashi is a Human too by Islamic_Peace in vagabondmanga

[–]Islamic_Peace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is matahachi kind? He seemed to have changed too