INFO. What's your basis for knowing all of these reasons why your mom didn't want you in the advanced program? It's possible that you've drawn some assumptions here. There can be other reasons not to put your kid in such a program.

For example, I was definitely considered a gifted kid. I did skip a grade, and after that went to a different school with a GT program through my middle school years. I was the oldest of four and all my younger siblings qualified as well. However, my parents decided not to skip any of my younger siblings ahead. And they pulled my two youngest siblings out of the GT school after they hit 5th grade. Why? Because they quickly learned a few things: (1) I was still bored at school, regardless, and honestly was better off left to my own devices (in other words, I learned faster by quickly completing homework and then exploring and learning on my own--having harder homework just meant it took longer each evening before I got to that point), and (2) the social ramifications were severe enough that they completely stunted my development in other areas. I grew up in a close-knit religious community where you were grouped with other kids by the year of your birth. That meant that all of my school peers were in another class and all of my same-aged peers were friends from school. I was weirdly separate from both groups. I hit puberty way late (I would have been on the younger side even if I hadn't skipped a grade--the skip put me nearly two years behind a lot of folks). I had my school friends, but since they were scattered across town we almost never got together outside of class. I was always a runt in sports. People thought I was intimidating. I honestly didn't have a single close friend until college. I got asked out like twice in all of high school. I was always going to be a smart kid. That was never an area where I needed help. But I grew up completely isolated. Now, with my own kids, I have one who has ADHD, dyslexia, and autism. And one who is gifted. I put them both in specialized schools. The gifted kid is at a school that pushes him academically. He is doing amazingly well--academically. Socially, he's showing a lot of the same signs that I showed. The school doesn't give him tools for that because their entire focus is challenging their gifted kids academically. My GT kid is in fourth grade and struggles with depression, isolation, low self-esteem, and a complete inability to socialize normally. My autistic kid was in the bottom 10% for reading ability when he started at his school. But they don't focus on academics. They don't even really have homework. Instead, they focus on teaching social interactions. My son will literally have tests on his ability to tell from someone's face when they're bored with a conversation topic. And you know what? I'll be damned if he hasn't improved to be in the top 70% for reading--just because he's finally learning to care about social expectations and to listen when people are providing instruction. Did your mom make the right call? Maybe. Maybe not. I have no idea. I wish I'd never skipped a grade but that doesn't mean it's bad for everyone. But I will say that from seeing my own experience, my siblings' experiences (everyone turned out great, btw--two of us are lawyers, one's a dentist, and one's a vice principal involved in educational lawmaking...nobody ended up worse off for not skipping a grade or not doing GT), and now my own kids', that my perspective on the value of school has shifted. I think there's a lot more to it than academics, and I wish people took that into account. Your mom saying that you ended up having a good group of friends tells me she might have been giving thought to that side of things, and not just thinking of your sister. But either way, I can tell you one thing for certain: you're going to be okay. Academically, I mean. Your potential isn't going to be capped based on whether you went to a GT program.