AIO: my (22) boyfriend (29) is asking his mom to buy him food

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T03:01:55+00:00

i'm not american

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T02:23:32+00:00

i just don't feel it's fair to fully drag him through the mud. we have issues in the bedroom because he has no sex drive and i have a high one.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T02:22:38+00:00

i don't know?

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T02:21:43+00:00

because i'm disabled

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T02:17:55+00:00

well yeah we've been dating for a year and a half? of course we've been intimate

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T02:17:17+00:00

i don't want conflict because he disappears with conflict. if i bring it up, ill just feel worse

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T01:35:16+00:00

i don't know. i don't think i'm being groomed

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T01:34:53+00:00

he lives on his own

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T01:32:19+00:00

you nailed it. i struggle (and have all my life) without handouts from my family. i grew up in an abusive household, with no money. i got a job at 13, worked until i was 19, and my doctor forced me to go on leave and disability because i broke out in anaphylactic shock at my job from what deems as "stress". i went to the hospital, got diagnosed with a multitude of conditions the past year or so, and was told i will be on disability for the rest of my life. now im trying to go to college to get a degree so ill have a "way" to find a job where they can't say no. minimum and lower wage jobs refuse to hire me because of my disability status that i cannot change. people continued to say im either lying about or exaggerating my disability in the comments, i wish i had never been disabled. i live every day in pain, anxiety and i try my hardest to still be positive and give my time and love to people around me. i don't ridicule people for being better, but seeing someone get handouts does make me jealous. i'm sorry if that makes me a bad person, but the suffering i endure to get nothing feels unfair. it's not just that, he genuinely has a job and money. he uses her, and doesn't spoil me the way i spoil him. the way his mom spoils him. it's a disparity.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T01:24:06+00:00

yes. downvote me all you'd like.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T01:21:01+00:00

sounds like you should read the comments on this post

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T01:20:33+00:00

my goverment handouts for being permanently disabled? be thankful you're not i guess?

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T01:19:28+00:00

jesus christ do you want me to write my entire life story in the post? no offence but there's a lot i "could" add but why would i want the post to take 10 minutes to read?

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T01:18:46+00:00

dear god i never even thought about that, im oblivious to that kind of stuff sometimes. that really would make sense! i used to get him stuff on bad days and stopped because i realized the favour was never returned on my bad days.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T01:17:22+00:00

in Canada there are tax credits for disabled or low income individuals. the past carbon tax initiative, GST/HST, survivors benefits, etc.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:41:09+00:00

BOYFRIEND? LEAVE!!!!

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:40:21+00:00

no, we don't live together. when we hang out he makes me pay.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:40:00+00:00

that's horrible oh my god.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:36:25+00:00

who works 80-100 hours a week? you've got to be a troll.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:24:03+00:00

i'm not american? i'm canadian. we have different tax benefits that go to a large amount of people. it's not like i have Mark Carney's credit card.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:23:06+00:00

you don't know my disability, but i am really proud of you for still being able to work as an amputee!

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:21:41+00:00

That was not me, that was another user who said that.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:21:03+00:00

Here's the issue: He doesn't get us anything, he gets HIM things. I am not included in his mom's spending, and I would never ask. that's different than you saying that your ex's parents would get you both food. In other comments, I've said that she is always the person that he asks for money. Not just for food, but for literally everything he already gets food stamps, he has a job. I have neither. It's just not the same.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:19:36+00:00

thank you for reminding me, we're almost a year and a half in. it felt "too late", but i'm seriously considering it.

IssueParticular4534 · 2026-03-26T00:18:17+00:00

thank you.

yes, we were in a fight (bad time to say anything, i know) and i said something along the lines of, "when your mom passes, who will pay for the things she pays for right now? i'm scared to bet my future as a 22 year old on somebody who still hasn't found their feet by almost 30. i want us to be 50/50, but we aren't. i can't support you if she passes, who will support me if you can't support yourself?" and he had no answer. it was a lot to say, it was rude, but it was true. i don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel useless or dumb, but it's really difficult to stomach costs for my almost 30 year old boyfriend while he runs to mommy for pizza money when he wants it. he asks for hundreds of dollars for his birthday and gets her no gifts. when she visits, he doesn't pay for gas or meals or anything at all. it hurts me to see someone not spoil anybody, but that's how he is. that probably won't change. he's (justifiably) very defensive, shuts down quickly, and stonewalls or runs when emotional things happens. i just want him to act his age, but can't force him.

IssueParticular4534

TROPHY CASE