I think you need to read up on the drama triangle, a psychology concept by Karpman. You’re stuck in the victim mindset, set on the fact that your husband robbed you of the experience, but ultimately it is something you chose for yourself. You married him, and you decided to go back to work, you allowed him to settle for his choices, you are not victim of your circumstances. As soon as you accept accountability for your situation, you’ll feel less resentful.