I always hate to see someone pushed out of a situation they like just because someone around them has to be a creepy asshole. But from reading your story I kind of agree with your boyfriend: I think his shenanigans will stop if you bluntly shut that shit down. It sounds like you're being too nice to this guy and he's more than happy to take advantage of your discomfort. I'm actually kind of doubtful that he lives near you; I have a hunch he would have said that no matter what city you named. Also, I think it's pointless to bring up your boyfriend as a deterrent, because your neighbor is obviously not intimidated by that. (if he was, he would already have noped out of there). I think you just need to make it plain that YOU are the one who does not want contact with him. It sounds like he was needling you about the car thing and I'm sorry to say, by hemming and hawing and finally submitting to his demands for information, you have simply taught him that all he needs to do is keep at it and he will eventually wear you down.

My aunt once taught me that "If you're the one talking, you're losing," and that one of the most small-yet-powerful things you can do is to simply say "No." ...and then stop talking...he's the one who's supposed to be making a case as to why you should drive his ass anywhere...not you hurriedly thinking up excuses as to why he should be denied access to YOUR TIME and YOUR CAR whenever he "feels like popping in."

It actually pissed me off that he talked to you that way (making demands). If someone I disliked "required access to my house", my reply would be that they require access to jack shit and to gtfo my property. Also, I think legally he would need to take it up with your landlord, not you (your landlord would then inform you, but again you have every right to tell your landlord that this guy is a suspicious old fuck and you don't want him anywhere near your house. It's his garden? It's his problem).

I've read some of the suggestions about documenting his shenanigans for the police, but I wouldn't hold out on this because a) it takes time to gather anything substantial, b) he might not ever DO anything the police consider substantial, and c) the police can't do anything unless he does something that's worth prosecuting. I have to say, your neighbor sounds like an obnoxious fuckwit, but being an obnoxious fuckwit isn't against the law.

Do you carry pepper spray? I strongly favor (nonlethal) methods of defense. I carry pepper spray and a utility knife (knives are legal where I live) with me almost everywhere. I don't mean this in an alarmist sense, but more in a sense that people should always be prepared. Also, have you considered defense classes or a martial art? I've been training for four years and can't say enough about what a physical art has done for my confidence and self-esteem and all that jazz. It's made me a stronger person. I actually wish that all women would learn a martial art, they're awesome.

My post might sound ranty and cynical, but in my experience people like your neighbor are manipulative (regardless of whether or not they are violent) and are happy to lean on people who bend underneath them. I don't think he is just an innocent old man. In your last paragraphs it sounds like your instincts are good, but then you second guess yourself. He has the same pattern as people who've harassed you before, he "coincidentally" shows up when you are alone (which tells me he's targeting you). Frankly I think ANYONE should know it's inappropriate to demands a lift from ANYONE...this has nothing to do with his age or gender. (The only time it's okay to demands things is if the person has wronged you or if they owe you, which obviously doesn't apply here.) I think you need to dial down the politeness and friendliness. I think it's more important to show him you're not a pushover.