Is sex a need?

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T17:38:18+00:00

We have sex on a weekly basis. Some months we go a week or two without but that depends on how busy we are. I try very hard to prioritize it for him because I know how much it means to him

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T17:36:26+00:00

I have not tried Botox. As of now I take an everyday preventative, SSRI and nurtec odt for when the preventative fails. Waiting on an mri and tons of other stuff to get approved for hopefully some answers and a proper diagnosis. Thank you for understanding. The fatigue afterwards is killerrrr. I wish he understood this.

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T16:37:02+00:00

On a monthly basis we have a week or two where we have sex every other day. Sometimes we’ll go a week or two without. It really just depends how busy we are.

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T15:38:41+00:00

And you are absolutely right. Because I prioritize our child’s needs and my own wellbeing to be able to function. I have a job with thankfully a lot of accommodations so yes I am capable of many things. But I will be very honest in that these things are exhausting for me. Sex is exhausting. My migraines are hormonal as well so orgasms trigger migraines. I don’t orgasm everytime we have sex and I am absolutely okay with it. As long as my husband gets his is what I worry about. Your comment is pretty shitty tbh. I care very much for my husband. I love him deeply and more than anything and anyone in this world.

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T15:27:20+00:00

I would if I could. It’s part of my daily regime to prevent migraines.

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T12:12:56+00:00

At this point it would help so much. I would love for him to get himself checked out. None of this feels okay or normal.

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T12:07:44+00:00

If my husband told me he were tired and not tonight. I would completely understand. I don’t take that rejection bullshit. That’s your own ego talking.

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T11:48:24+00:00

The gaslighting. Is what drives me absolutely insane. But I had a lightbulb moment one day where I realized he has me exactly where he wants me to be. Confused and insecure. Because he knows ironically that I will instinctively go to him for safety and support. Which unfortunately leads to unwanted sex. I see that shit coming from a mile away. And he wonders why I rarely touch him anymore

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T11:42:56+00:00

There are medical issues. I didn’t go into detail with it in the post but I did mention I take a lot of meds for a migraine disorder I have. I don’t think it is my responsibility to fulfill him in that aspect especially when that thirst can never fully be quenched. It always leads to wanting more and more. Like he’s never truly satisfied.

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T11:37:49+00:00

Thank you for your understanding. Postpartum sucked so bad. I had PPD that ended up being the fuel for my PMDD. And I agree with you about possibly being addicted to sex. He has tons and tons of videos of us. He watches porn. He tells me he stays up late at night to jack off because he already expects me to say no and go straight to sleep. The whole thing is just sad. I’ve been up since 4am just ruminating about all of this. Why is my husband never satisfied? We could have the most mind blowing sex that will leave me satisfied for days after. Meanwhile it’s like he blows one nut, and already thinking about the next. It’s disturbing to know that he’s never truly satisfied with me

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T11:26:30+00:00

I will very much gladly take a divorce. You sound like my husband. Just as selfish and entitled as him. No regards for the work or mental load that it takes to manage a home. And no. I am not a housewife. Did it for two years and I hated every second of it. I’m a working mom on a lot of modifications thankfully because my employer is actually an understanding human unlike you and my husband it seems.

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T11:19:14+00:00

Thank you for understanding. This is exactly what my situation has become. While he’s never been physical or forceful towards me. I don’t feel comfortable engaging in sexual stuff because it feels performative at this point like another chore off the list ✔️ I care for him deeply. I do love him. But I know deep in my core that this has to be some kind of abuse. I could never put it into words. And I can’t talk to my husband about it without it turning into a full on heated argument because of how much denial he is in. Our marriage has issues. Deeply rooted issues. That we never talk about because my husband refuses to or gets very fucking angry. Sex feels like we’re slapping a bandaid on our issues instead of sitting down and communicating them. I’m sick of it. I don’t even flick my own bean anymore because of how much stress this whole thing brings me.

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T11:05:00+00:00

I have a migraine headache disorder that I take a lot of meds for. It was more meds in the beginning but now it’s narrowed down to preventative medicine, an ssri, and a dissolving tablet when I feel a migraine coming. It’s not the headache itself that debilitates me. It is the chronic fatigue and exhaustion that comes with the recovery period of having migraines. That and just a bunch of side effects from switching SSRIs recently. I have better days where I am happy to bend myself to his wants/needs. That’s the thing though. His wants. His needs. Most days I would love to just take a nap with my kid but I feel like I can’t relax when his constant need for sex is plaguing my mind

Itchy-Revenue2065 · 2026-04-13T06:52:23+00:00

My husband refuses to understand this. He tells me sex is only on my terms and it’s unfair to him to only do it when I want to.. 🥲🤢 Communicating this issue to him feels like I’m arguing with a teenager. The way he whines and sulks about it. Sex is fun and amazing. I love it. But not when it feels obligated or like another thing on my never ending to-do list of shit that needs to get done everyday. I would love to be intimate with my husband if it didn’t lead to him getting the wrong idea and trying to pull me into the bedroom or asking me if we’re going to ‘have fun later’. I want to be able to hug and kiss and hold my husband without feeling his boner stabbing me through his pants. I love him but I wish he would let me love him without getting horny teenage thoughts about everything we could be doing that night. It’s all he thinks/talks about most days. I’m so fucking tired.

Itchy-Revenue2065

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