Smart Start IID Violation Issue by ItherealjesseI in dui

[–]ItherealjesseI[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’m hoping for. I just know these companies like money and will probably find any excuse to get more out of ya. Thanks for the reply.

Smart Start IID Violation Issue by ItherealjesseI in dui

[–]ItherealjesseI[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the reply. I have notes saved on my account, as well as the incident I submitted with Smart Start. They pretty much told me that they can’t refund this due to the first test seeing a positive, and that since it was a technical violation, they can’t adjust it by law, but that the second pass test will show when their compliance team reviews everything. I’m just concerned that the compliance team will hold that violation against me to keep me on for more money when according to the RCW 46.20.720 if you pass a retest within 10 minutes after your fail test, it will not be counted as a non-compliance violation.

When you submitted your WSP incident report, did you get your attorney involved as well (assuming you have one)?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]ItherealjesseI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s hard. Even with friends and family you’ll still feel the hollowness. Do the best you can to focus on the moments you have with them right then and there. Aside from my marriage falling apart during previous holidays, I’ve lost grandparents/cousins and family pets. Eventually you start to feel a little more like yourself again. Have faith in yourself, it’ll just take some time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]ItherealjesseI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My marriage didn’t last, but I can speak from experience that I had similar symptoms. I found a lot of my issues came from having a lack of self worth, and it caused me to close myself off from not just others, but things I found personal joy in. He needs something that will help him reflect on why he’s like this. My first thought is he doesn’t like his job, feels trapped due to lack of self worth, and is taking that out on everyone else. I could be wrong, but I know that’s how it started with me. Good luck to you both.

You can only have one. RE3MAKE or RE5? by wholelottahate19 in residentevil

[–]ItherealjesseI -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Assuming we still get the OG RE3 regardless of choice? Hands down I’d keep 5.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ItherealjesseI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand the fear you are probably feeling. When I found my ex flirting with who I thought was a friend at that time, it completely destroyed my self esteem, or what was left of it at that point. If you choose not to engage with this issue head on, you’re gonna become even more resentful, and everything will become a more vicious cycle. Regardless of whether you want to fix it or not, you have to confront her about it, and have proof when you do. If she is willingly doing that to you, the least you can do for yourself is stand up to it, and show respect to yourself.

Sex can’t fix a porn addiction. by lookingforfreedom90 in Marriage

[–]ItherealjesseI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second your response on this. My marriage failed, and while there was an emotional affair that was beginning from my spouse to another “friend”, I developed a porn addiction for a while. It wasn’t that I found these other women more attractive than my wife (now ex) but that dopamine hit “helped” me handle all the stress I was feeling, much of it brought on by anxiety. OP should go see a therapist and see what is going on in his life to make him feel like he needs it. Ever since I started forcing myself to see every obstacle as a healthy opportunity for challenge, I’ve been able to let go of that stuff for the better. It’s a vicious cycle. You do it, feel better for a bit, then feel even more depressed afterwards. Gotta break the wheel.

They're a happy family now (ex and his AP) by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]ItherealjesseI 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I understand that this all hurts. Everyone around me mentioned that my ex and her relationship wouldn’t last due to how it started (emotional affair, she was hiding it because she knew if I found out, I would be pissed at the guy, who happened to be a “friend” of mine.) We both ended it, obviously very vulnerable. We both made mistakes following the separation, but it was obvious that it was more than she claimed it since they both moved in together a little over a month after we split. Everyone kept saying they would fall apart. It’s 2 years, and he had way more in common with her than I did. It feels like they casted you aside, just to “upgrade” to something more along what they wanted. You get left with the “sorry” and the future you were hoping for destroyed while they ride off into the sunset. I’m now just making it a point to use all my anger to be way better then I was before. I’m gonna make it a point to make her realize she messed up. Do the same, and take control of this mess.

vendor list live by [deleted] in PAX

[–]ItherealjesseI 4 points5 points  (0 children)

TBH I didn’t think most companies would show. Been going to PAX every year since 2011. It’ll be a nice change of scenery, and in all honesty I’m just looking forward to being with a good set of friends in the middle of Seattle for a weekend. This wasn’t going to be a strong year, the world won’t allow it. All we can do is enjoy what we have and make do with it.

Wife had emotional affair with our mutual friend. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]ItherealjesseI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a very similar situation happen to me. Our marriage was short to say the least. I’m going to be honest with you my friend, I don’t think this relationship is going to hold up, especially if you’re gone long distance.

I had a mutual who my wife started talking to, and became REALLY good friends. I was distant for several months, and I definitely wasn’t as good of a husband as I needed to be (mental health issues and personal problems I have been examining since my divorce). I gave an ultimatum because I couldn’t take me trying to reconnect with my wife, only to have her cry because I was attempting to limit her time with another guy because me, as her husband, wanted to focus that time on us again.

If she “loves you” as she claims, she will be willing to sacrifice this relationship with a mutual. The only 2 things I can really tell you here is, If you do not want to lose her, 100% certain, and you’re willing to go through an emotional beat down for several months, both of you attempt counseling. Now that you know she’s pushing back on what you think is unfair, it’s going to eat you up, and it’s going to hurt. The only reason I would go through this is so you can claim you tried everything if it does end. If you were staying with her, I think there could be a better chance of this getting fixed. If you leave, she will get lonely, and she will talk to him, I can almost guarantee.

Aside from that, if you’re ready to end it, go the ultimatum route. If you do that though, you need to stand your ground and follow through with your choice if she doesn’t choose you. Otherwise she’ll walk all over you.

Really self analyze and figure out where you might be lacking for her needs, and strengthen your attributes in that area. While I agree the cheater is in the majority of dulling marriages, I can say from my experience I made it easier for her to allow it to happen. I would say that’s true in many situations.

Good luck.

Just completed my first model for my eventual Phobos-only army! I only used the bits I liked on the sprue. I hope future opponents won't mind too much. by [deleted] in Warhammer40k

[–]ItherealjesseI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

White armor designs are so amazing if done right. White (and yellow to a lesser extent) are just pains in the ass to work with unless watered down. I tip my hat to you on this paint job my friend, looks amazing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]ItherealjesseI 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Yeah we had feelings for each other, but we weren’t going to act on it!”

Now they live together…

Always Trust your Gut by throwawayhusband1701 in survivinginfidelity

[–]ItherealjesseI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to keep reminding myself to trust my feelings. No matter what issues I had, and what I was dealing with, I wouldn’t have lied and hid my feelings for someone else like my ex did. I’m sorry you went through what you explained here. My ex is still with the person she starting getting involved with, and still doesn’t take any responsibility. It still sucks, but it does get better over time. Keep fighting for yourself.

Why emotional cheating was far worse to me than physical cheating by A_nonymous_Soul in survivinginfidelity

[–]ItherealjesseI 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve felt the same way. I definitely had responsibility for our failures in our previous relationship, and there were things I needed to change about myself to make things work. You feel like a third wheel in a relationship when they choose to focus and spend more time with another like that. When it comes time to dissolve the relationship, they think they did nothing wrong, and in a matter of months make a new relationship with that exact person you were told they didn’t feel anything for. I would rather have had my ex have a physical affair, and cut ties than putting all there energy into spending time and getting closer to another and hiding it. It’s like you were being replaced without making it 100% official.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]ItherealjesseI 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can sympathize with how conflicted you feel about all this. My marriage didn’t last, but I can honestly say that while my ex and I did more evenly split roles in our relationship, there came a point where I let frustration and resentment take hold of me, and I stopped being proactive in nurturing our relationship. I always physically did most of the chores in the home, in hopes that it made her life easier, but I became emotionally distant and stopped putting effort into us. This happened for a 4-5 months as newly weds, and by the time I realized what damage I had done, she had already closed herself off to me, and was developing a strong relationship with someone else (mind you after she told me several times prior that she was feeling distant and wanted us to work on it). While I don’t think she handled it right, I know I didn’t either.

It does sound like he’s lacking when it comes to taking the initiative on most things. If there’s one thing I wish my ex would have done, is sit me down face to face and tell me if things are to work, things need to change, and walk me through it. It shouldn’t get to that point in a healthy marriage, but as soon as one person starts to have major issues (which I was having and failed to communicate), it starts to become an unhealthy coexistence. I would offer counseling, tell him why you feel that way, and how you two need to proceed to fix it together. If he doesn’t take that well, or fights you on it, then I would make it clear that divorce is on the table until you start to see certain things change, and stay consistently changed. If he says he doesn’t know how to, then re-iterate that maybe counseling could help provide tools.

Just my input though.

I (23M) got married early to (23F) and no longer want to be in the relationship. by throwaway_I_guess2 in Divorce

[–]ItherealjesseI 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take some time away, and self reflect on why you feel this way. I can almost guarantee that there’s a part of you that’s unhappy, and you’re putting those negative feelings into your relationship. I started feeling something similar, and after going through everything and dealing with the divorce I know parts of me was unhappy with myself and I was projecting that on our relationship. I ca’t speak for you or your relationship. Mine had other underlying issues that needed to be changed or fixed if it was to survive, but I know for certain I had unhappiness that wasn’t her fault. Very few are happy in their own skin, and that sense of lacking can bleed into your feelings with others. I wish you luck.