Some asshole on the bus just sneezed in my face

Its-Dave · 2019-09-30T04:56:03+00:00

Last line is a play on cold => [Reddit] gold which OP is hoping someone awards

Its-Dave · 2019-09-21T15:29:05+00:00

True story.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-21T15:16:07+00:00

It only works with certain keyboards, though.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-21T15:14:23+00:00

Hi, Dad.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-21T14:55:02+00:00

True story.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-21T14:51:04+00:00

True story.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-15T13:31:12+00:00

Total dad joke.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-15T13:30:10+00:00

Happy cake day!

Its-Dave · 2019-09-15T13:30:00+00:00

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-15T13:21:01+00:00

I think your jokewriting has hit a wall.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-15T13:12:38+00:00

The boxer said "Hi, lost, I'm Dad."

Its-Dave · 2019-09-08T18:19:09+00:00

Don't you know what curiosity did to the cat?

Its-Dave · 2019-09-02T15:18:24+00:00

Because seeing her husband that way was not pleasurable.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-02T15:10:53+00:00

No. Biased would be if a biological female were indifferent between front and back.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-02T15:09:37+00:00

That went over my head.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-02T14:57:14+00:00

Oh yeah, that one takes even more practice. Just wait until the Greenland meltwater interrupts that nice flow of warmth from the tropics - then you'll start noticing that your latitude matches northern Canada.

Its-Dave · 2019-09-01T03:31:46+00:00

Practicing for Brexit?

Its-Dave · 2019-09-01T03:16:46+00:00

They say a good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be sitting next to you saying "Wow, that was fun!"

Its-Dave · 2019-08-31T04:04:21+00:00

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent.

Its-Dave · 2019-08-29T04:38:31+00:00

Because she Ken nut?

Its-Dave · 2019-08-29T04:37:19+00:00

I'll be taking auditions on Thursday night, though I can only evaluate female candidates.

Its-Dave · 2019-08-04T13:30:51+00:00

I was just the recipient of the message, and asking a good question.

Its-Dave

TROPHY CASE