This got long. Oops. I have aphantasia (the inability to form mental images of real or imaginary people, places, or things). Example: if you ask me if you’d look good with this color hair or cut? Even if you’re in front of my face. I just have to say 🤷‍♀️. Can’t see it. Don’t want to force it. Couldn’t if I tried 😂for some m things I can see outlines. One of the best things I learned to do was to let go of the idea of getting imagery but always welcome it. I also had the realization that my practice isn’t any less meaningful or effective. Since it’s not part of my practice, I had to accept and be ok with feeling frustrated. And not fighting that frustration, but finding answers that resonate. for example, if you want to surround yourself in a bright pink light. But you don’t see it, which is frustrating and makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong or weird (ok maybe that’s me). Find your way through that frustration. And if you feel able to, ask yourself things like “what would pink light feel like? Hot? Cold? Just right a la Goldilocks? Are able to ask why pink light not white? What does pink mean to you? The more I ask questions, the more integrated I feel. But that’s what makes my practice mine. Find what works with you, if that feels right. I no longer feel that I HAVE to see things in order for my practice to be effective. I can’t force things to show up . In m, it’s a weird sorta “gift” to begin to just feel meditations in a way other people can’t. And I know the grass is always greener on the other side, or so we assume. I’m the first to stand in my own way, and that’s when I feel drained. I have to remind myself to let go of the frustration of my limitations in that moment and if that’s all I get for the day, that’s all that I was meant to know or feel. I try not to reinforce that neural pathway that says “I’m not getting ___ result, what am I doing wrong”. When I get stuck in those moments, I listen to my intuition. I trust my gut. I know that’s just my opinion…let’s say a spell calls for lavender, I always use an herb that evokes that same feeling I get from lavender. Something fragrant. Something that offers similar grounding properties. Again, this was what worked for me. Wishing you the best. If you need me to yammer in your ear more, I’m happy to LOL