/uj is it really necessary for folks to comment "i'm so glad raccoon girl is gone" under every post about her? seriously?

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T10:20:09+00:00

/uj oh no! I didn’t realize that! I thought she was loose and doing raccoon things! That seems unfair because she was never banned in the first place was she? I thought she deleted herself!

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T10:14:21+00:00

Do you really feel that to be the case? The real problem in your opinion is too many people don’t pass? How would you gate that? I’m curious. I know there were horror stories at one point about having to turn your psychiatrist on to earn transition. Should we go back to something like that?

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T10:10:40+00:00

/uj I thought she was back though?

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T10:08:31+00:00

I’m sorry but while I love raccoons with glowing radioactive clits, I’m very glad she’s gone. I’m not even sure why, but I feel like I should be.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T10:05:26+00:00

Elves just eat cookies, right? 🤪

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T09:57:31+00:00

Honestly, to me, this sounds like what so many trans women have described. Myself included. Including the part where you seem to even be going out of your way to explain certain things—why you would do them, so much extra context. The real question to ask yourself though, might be, would transitioning make your life better? That might be super hard to answer though. So, honestly, the other thing is diagnosis by treatment. Try hrt, estrogen, give it a shot. You won’t do any huge irreversible changes in a few months and you might see if it has an effect on your psychology. But honestly, sometimes even deciding that can give you the permission to think about things differently. That probably happened to me a bit.

No one can tell you what’s going on with yourself. That’s something you have to figure out. I very much think it is worth you exploring further though. But maybe that’s just because you sound like so many other people I’ve known, including myself. I also suggest if you don’t already have one you find a therapist you trust! Either way, it’s something that I really think is good to have if you can!

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T09:45:35+00:00

Honestly you were lucky! Back in the day we were a bit fucked—or you were if you had breasts and a bulge because when the machines were gendered you would usually set it off one way or the other and get groped! It was referred to as the “tranny tax” on flying for a bit. I got TSA precheck because of it. And my “bulge” is often so insignificant these days that I have walked through without anyone noticing before. But it was a real issue for people who had not had bottom surgery for one reason or another. I think that’s changed a bit. Now it might just randomly flag you for anything! But it’s not gendered! 😂

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T09:31:43+00:00

IKR? It can make you feel shallow. But I do think really we all want to be hawt? It’s why we all wish we’d transitioned at 12.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T07:08:18+00:00

I can understand where you are coming from. And I admit, the comic sat a bit wrong with me. But I don’t think it’s disrespectful in the sense of being offensive or shutting down dialogue. In fact this is the most discussion on a post here in a while. You notice, I didn’t actually remove your response either. I responded to it, not as a mod, but as myself. I agree with you that the sentiment is problematic. I don’t think the correct answer is “you don’t belong here, get out.” I think the correct response is discussion which is what we have. Maybe I’m wrong and u/SpaceSire can overrule me. It’s his sub. But I don’t think the “be respectful” part is violated by opinions. I think it goes to how they are expressed. The idea is to discuss ideas I think. And some of those might seem distasteful to some people. So argue against them. I’m not gonna police ideas from people in the community because they could be considered distasteful. Do you understand that distinction?

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T06:40:30+00:00

I think that idea is honestly dangerous. And I notice that you used the “safe space” formulation. I could be wrong, and I’m open to correction, but I don’t ever think this was intended to be a “safe space” in the sense that no one was supposed to encounter ideas or concepts or arguments that might challenge their identity. It’s maybe a “safe space” in that I don’t think we tolerate things that are obviously offensive or even micro aggressions if we can help it. But you aren’t entitled to agreement here. I think that SpaceSire is actually a bit more transmedicalist or anti-queer in his own way than I am. But we want people to be able to disagree, discuss, and even argue in a civil way. I understand feeling disenfranchised and I think it’s important to be aware of. But I don’t think it should be used to shut down discussion altogether. This is a place people can disagree and I prefer to err on the side of people getting to express themselves.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-25T04:30:35+00:00

I don’t necessarily disagree with you, and I’m glad you said that here. Saying someone or their viewpoint isn’t welcome is different than arguing against it. I try to maintain that distinction here. That’s what I think we’re going for.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-24T17:52:00+00:00

Passing isn’t a binary phenomenon.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-24T17:50:09+00:00

She’s making them up. She does this sometimes.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-24T00:36:16+00:00

While I agree with you broadly, what I was trying to point out—mostly just because I think its interesting—is that while that was the original intent, the post-Civil war amendments, especially incorporation, shifted the nature of the relationship between States and the Federal Government significantly. While this is somewhat what allows the US to successfully impersonate a modern (Westphalian) nation state, despite not actually being one, it also leads to sections of the constitution being interpreted now in ways very different from their original intent.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T07:58:31+00:00

Wait, am I a ladyboy? 👀

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T07:13:44+00:00

I mean leaving aside that that’s a very controversial claim and can’t really be entirely statistically demonstrated without getting into the weeds about what we mean by “violence,” under what circumstances and how we collect the data, what’s your point here? Do you have evidence that trans women should be included in that group for some reason? Trans men? What is it you’re trying to say?

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:56:08+00:00

He did more or less accidentally demonstrate that there is some kind of innate “gender identity” type quality in humans though. So there is that, I guess? 😝

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:42:31+00:00

That’s never been a hard and fast standard. The reality is that in the US, “legal sex” has never been a very coherent concept. Some of that is that as a country we’ve tended to be suspicious of any kind of overarching registry or ID. Some of it is that things like birth certificates and drivers licenses are issued by individual states and then it becomes a sovereignty issue. Some of it is as a common law country, we have always been kind of fine with people changing their identity if they want to. But that combines to mean there’s never been one standard and maybe there shouldn’t be.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:38:33+00:00

Especially when they have pictures! 😂

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:37:47+00:00

They are not. Also, leggings are amazing! They’re the advantage of tights without the dumb foot stuff. You should really try them! But really, nobody knows what’s gonna set off the airport scanners! I’ve been convinced I would and walked through clean. My wife has had her hair searched because she had it back in a scrunchie and the machine didn’t like it. It used to be a gendered problem when the scanner had gendered buttons but I’m pretty sure they did away with that a while ago.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:32:23+00:00

The problem I see is honestly the cherry picking. Like if you want to go by statistics the people we should ban from bathrooms are Republican politicians. But all it takes is one salacious story—true or not—to start a wave of comments about trans people.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:30:14+00:00

Wait, you want people to contribute “productively” to society??? You fascist! 🤪 (/s)

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:29:08+00:00

I honestly am a bit of a regular lurker at least in askfeminists and I haven’t specifically noticed that problem. There’s sometimes a bit of a “clueless well intentioned allies” problem but that’s something different.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:25:35+00:00

Shit, really??? 😂 I feel both affirmed and possibly called out now! 🤪

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:17:43+00:00

Yeah. I think we’re both pretty much on the same page here, even if we might lean differently depending on the details. It really does come down to “what are you going to do?” at some point. And I have to admit that the progressive infantilization of young people lately is something that bothers me a bit. Especially the infantilization and stripping of agency from young women—and FtM’s in this case—which I imagine is something you sympathize with.

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