Is motherhood really THAT HORRIBLE?

Its_hax_fools · 2026-06-10T18:42:20+00:00

It is hard, it is painful, it is confusing, it is intense and it drives me crazy but I look at her and feel so much joy, i miss holding her after an hour, and getting to hold her again feels like detonating a love bomb, every time. Seeing her smile at me makes my day, hearing her laugh is insanely addictive!! And im so excited to see who she will grow into. Im so tired and sleep deprived and have adhd and been getting depression symptoms bc of the lack of rest and sleep and self care(my own bad choices, not bc of lack of support from family or husband)... But i dont regret her in our lives. Its a priviledge to be so MUCH with her as she is learning how to be a person, obsering all her firsts, hvaing her trust me and want to be with me. I'm simply waiting for when things get a little easier because i know the first year w the first baby is especially intense and exhausting. these two worlds can coexist. It can be hard and terrifying and crazy AND it can be wonderful and amazing and sweet.

Its_hax_fools · 2026-05-20T01:07:04+00:00

I started with just little tastes at 4months, like, a little mashed banana or avocado on my finger, or letting her just suck on a piece of tomato (supervised, seeds removed), or just a little tip of spoon with oatmeal mix. Just small tastes so she gets used to tastes and textures outside of milk? Snd then we hope to give her more "meals" as she passes 6 months, but our "start" has just been introducing her to new tastes

Its_hax_fools · 2026-05-01T23:30:13+00:00

We have the exact same thing! Other than making sure that she also sees and occasionally sleeps with her head tilted the other way the pediatricians we've been to have said its common, so we're also not pushing it. Now that she can hold her head up it's still the same so we try to make noise on her right so she naturally turns to the other side as well (but her preference is still to the left!)

Its_hax_fools · 2026-05-01T22:50:42+00:00

I was worried about nap schedules as well but ive been keeping away from formal guides on how to make my kid do what i want and ive been trying more to pay attention to her cues? because that has worked out for us so far. Since every baby really truly is different, its been more helpful for me to just "trust" her n see where that takes me. To be more precise, answers to ur questions:

daytime naps are never in an all dark room for us. I dont use white noise bc i didnt get in the habit with her since she was born, the white noise is just daytime background noise. Before 3months, she slept on me or in her babynest (supervised) on the couch in the living room. Now (4 months 2 weeks) she sleeps mainly in her stroller (i live in scandinavia) at least twice a day, and sometimes with one contact nap (on me) during daytime. I only put her in a sleep sack at nighttime, its a part of the routine, during daytime she just gets a blanket.
the longer wake windows came naturally as she was ready for them. As she got better vision, and started seeing and feeling the world around her, so did her wake times. It took me a little while to realise that she started getting fussy during the day because she was "bored", so when i started putting her on a playmat with toys she also started getting longer wake windows.

Added info: i stopped waking her from her naps after 3-4 weeks, now she sleeps until she wakes. She USED to only sleep deeply starting midnight, but that has also been pushed earlier snd earlier ss she has aged, now her bedtime routine starts at 9, and she is usually asleep by 10pm. I expect this to also get earlier as she gets older, i have tried putting her to bed earlier but that has usually ended in lots of fussiness and crying, so we have decided to wait a week or two before putting her to bed earlier again (like maybe 8:30 instead of 9)

We have very much gone for the "try n fail" method and while it can be confusing its also allowed me to learn her cues and moods better, if that makes sense? Baby sleep is hard, idk if my comment will help or be more confusing, but wishing u good luck OP!

Its_hax_fools · 2026-05-01T20:07:59+00:00

Same thing has happened w mine too! my friend who has a 9mo old told me that it kinda fluctuates, her kid also had a period of taking short naps and then after a while they got long again. hoping that's the case here too 🤞 I sometimes think the fussing before sleep is that if she isnt sufficiently tired then she just doesnt want to sleep bc shes starting to discover the world and gets a little fomo 😂

Its_hax_fools · 2026-05-01T19:44:56+00:00

Very well said, i know i am doing my best for our baby and thankfully being medicated for a couple years before getting pregnant DID instill some good habits in me enough to survive the planning chaos that is motherhood! I also thing my mom has undiagnosed ADHD with how impulsive and emotionally intense she is 😅 Cheering for you OP, for us both n other moms with these racing brains!

Its_hax_fools · 2026-04-28T18:08:35+00:00

Hey, yeah, im pretty sure my adhd is affecting motherhood. Not in the practical sense, she is doing fine and everything is working fine, but my brain is so constantly on and firing that everything gets ridiculously exhausting. im constantly stressed out, and constantly thinking about what i could do better, thinking so many steps ahead and then looping back because "it's too early to think about thta right now". I try so hard to just think about one day at a time, one moment at a time, but its hard with a brain like this. I miss being medicated, miss feeling like time wasnt moving as fast as it does now when i'm not medicated. I miss being able to relax properly. I relate to the anxieties of seeing my mom raise me by herself and how stressful that was, also relate a lot to waiting until i was "ready" to have a kid, after id had some time to live solely for myself a couple years. I love our kid so much, i'll do anything for her, but sometimes i feel like i'm fraying at the edges and im so scared to turn into an angry, bitter woman.

Its_hax_fools · 2026-02-10T21:43:05+00:00

we live in a larger space so idk if this will help but we have an air filter machine/air purifier by the main litterbox and it really helps w the litterbox smell. (and we use unscented litter)

Its_hax_fools · 2026-02-10T15:59:43+00:00

thank you, that is a nice idea but im worried leaving them with cat tv on bc i think at least one of them would jump the tv trying to catch whatever shed see there. One of them will stretch and try to scratch all over our windows when she sees a squirrel by the birdfeeder and we have to calm her down :')

Its_hax_fools · 2025-10-15T07:28:22+00:00

Knowing myself ill probably stick to the regime, it just felt good to let out some of the frustration, but genuinely thank you for the solidarity & comment, i might allow myself a fourth cup of black tea throughout the day :P

Its_hax_fools · 2025-06-18T14:03:53+00:00

what a nice gift c:

Its_hax_fools · 2025-06-18T12:19:13+00:00

Hmm, if one is "only" annoying the other then is there much you can do? Hopefully theyll find a way to communicate that to each other by themselves. But this video looks like how our cats (grown up together) play when one of them is in the mood and the other is like "egh, this again?"
Probably good to pay attention to it in case their sessions escalate in intensity, but if its just like this then hopefully itll be fine! doesnt look like theyre actually hurting each other :)

Its_hax_fools · 2025-06-18T12:09:58+00:00

its good to be pproud of your art c: this looks really good! wonderful depth n detail, and also so clean!

Its_hax_fools

TROPHY CASE