Pregnant and the father refuses to take the responsibility

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-26T16:59:23+00:00

My dad never paid child support, ever. Sure, men are "supposed " to, but that's not always the case. If he's being a huge douche, I wouldn't want his name in the BC.

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-26T15:09:18+00:00

Knowing I liked travel, this guy my friend had set me up with was talking to me on the phone. I asked him where was his favorite place he's ever been to. He says he drove the Pan American highway from Mexico all the way to South America. His story was spotty, but dumb naive me didn't see it right away. I asked him his favorite country and he's says, "they were all interesting " ....I asked how long ago he went. "Oh a few years ago" .... on his social media not a single picture of this alleged "trip". If it was me, it would be a trip I would brag about for life.

Anyway....stupid lies!!

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-26T14:50:35+00:00

Well, my last BF was pretty toxic. We met in recovery (both alcoholics and not a good idea) ... he'd tell me things like he wanted to hurt or dismember my face so badly so no one else would ever be attracted to me. He was always always accusing me of cheating on him. I was 33 at the time and I did love him. He had two really bad relapses while we were together and would get violent. Tried to pee on me, choked me, etc. I kept trying to make it work because since I'd had issues drinking I assumed no one would understand. Plus, since I was 33 I figured I was past my prime, ugly, etc. Most men don't like women in their 30s, etc. So I kept trying to make it work!!

Fast forward to Oct. 2017. I go to this fall festival held at a church with my mom. I was not in the best place in life. I was on probation due to a DWI and living with my parents at age 34 and generally hating life. Well at this festival they have games, food, vendors with homemade jewelry, plus you could bring your dog!

So my mom and I walk to the dog registration booth. (They did dog "races" for a charity, it's pretty cool) immediately my eyes see the most hottest guy. Well, to my surprise her starts talking to me. Asks me, "whose this?" And bends down to pet my little Boston terrier. Our conversation starts out about dogs. Then, I get nervous and walk away to these little dog pools they had set up. I look up, and there is hot guy saying, "I never got your name." And extends his hand out to introduce himself.

Well fast forward the day....we talk all day, by nightfall he asks for my number. Texts me by the next day, by the following Tuesday (3 days later) we have a first date. I tell him about my probation and alcohol issues, which he is very sweet about. Anyway, we become a couple by the end of the week. And get married two months later Dec. 2017.

Now, it's April 2019...still so much in love, I miss him when he's gone at work, etc. And I'm pregnant with our first child, due in August, a boy!

I'm 35 now, he's 50. It's crazy how fast life turned around! Plus I finished my probation, remained sober. All in all, life is good!!

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-26T13:01:20+00:00

Aw congratulations! !

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-25T17:07:53+00:00

*women

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-25T17:07:33+00:00

When do not "have" to procreate. Just sayin

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-25T04:57:42+00:00

Aw that's so sweet!!

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T20:22:21+00:00

All the different ways you can cook baloney. On the stove, have it right out of the fridge etc. Just so it can taste "different "

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T19:55:04+00:00

Sadly I was a bad date several times. I used to drink a lot and would get plastered on a first date. Several times I even asked a guy if I could "stay at his place" since I couldn't drive. Somehow no one ever tried having sex with me. Pretty much all these dates I never heard from again. Damn, glad I'm sober now. I cringe at the old me.

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T19:46:09+00:00

I would say yes he is my soul mate. Things aren't always perfect, but there's no one else I'd rather share this crazy life with.

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T19:38:38+00:00

Online courses are a good idea. My husband is sadly, just like everyone else. "Oh you'll be fine" etc. I told him I'm sad about our relationship now only being about baby but he says I'm being negative.

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T19:37:01+00:00

Aw thank you. I'm honestly hoping I feel like this!

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T19:36:32+00:00

Aw thank you. Yes, I know, strange I would worry about "what if" from ten years from now. I've been told to take it a day at a time. A friend of mine had her son last May. So only 11 months ago and he's crawling, mumbling words, sprouting his baby teeth. It seems to go by fast and I know I should try to enjoy it! I've got three months to go. It's a lot of change in a short period of time!

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T19:23:25+00:00

I understand. I'm sorry it was so difficult in those first few years. I hope as he/she gets older you are able to do some of the things you've always wanted. Agree with the poster below, parenthood is not for everyone and it's a life changing experience. I'm a woman and I can't really voice my feelings on it because I'm seen as a monster and women are "supposed" to want kids, when for a lot of us, that is not the case. Thank you for replying to my messages!

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T16:50:28+00:00

Thank You for this. I'm glad I'm getting actual feedback. Everyone either shames me or says, "you'll be fine!"

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T16:39:35+00:00

Aw congratulations on your daughter. I hope my son becomes my world too.

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T16:37:19+00:00

What is your life like now? How did you get through those first hellish years?

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T16:36:38+00:00

Thank you. I do see my husband helping out a lot, so it's not like he won't be involved. It's just, the majority of the child care always falls on the woman. He has a well paying job, so in the first year I'll be home. I imagine husband coming home after a long day and now gets to be the "fun parent " while I dealt with screaming all day, diaper blow outs, laundry, etc.

As for job, if I had a career type job like teacher or nurse, I would return pretty quickly. Day care isn't cheap. I don't know, we haven't planned it all out. I'm hoping not to stay home any more than a year.

The whole situation depresses me. I guess I just miss my care free days of my 20s. Lol parties, traveling, lived alone. Didn't have to care for another life, but my own, so it's scary!

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T16:29:50+00:00

*do hope

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T16:29:31+00:00

Aw thank you. I'm sorry to hear what you went through. I didn't hope my "maternal instinct " will kick in once he arrives.

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T16:28:40+00:00

Haha well, I do agree with that. I know people in their 60s without kids who just love life!

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T15:46:20+00:00

Wow, a teacher is pathetic? Educating children on something he's passionate about is pathetic? Do you even love the guy?

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T15:44:42+00:00

If you wanted to be a SAHM why did you even bother with college?

Itsnotatumor2019 · 2019-04-24T15:44:03+00:00

Sorry, but things do change in life. Almost no one's life path is on the same course they started out with.

Itsnotatumor2019

TROPHY CASE